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Show coldly. "'He is what you would call a Spitz." Chicago News. He Couldn't Understand. "I hope I in not going to he sick," said Mrs. Staggers, worriedly; "my appetite isn't what it used to be." "It's strain-." murmured her husband hus-band from behind the neswpaper, "that tho truth of your assertion is not borne out by th reduced size of the bills." Chicago News. Vindictive. "Ugh!" spluttered Mr. Pones."That nut had a worm In it." "Here," urged the friend, offering him a glass of water, "drink this and wash it down." "Waih it down! ' growled Jones. "Why should I? Let hlra walk!" Everybody's. JUST FOR FUN Of Two Evils. It was the old, old story; tmt, then, the new boarder had never really had any hypes. He knew those 'home comforts." "Choose"' said the stem landlady, as he took his tcat at the festive breakfast tabic. "How can I choose?" inquired Uio new boarder hlimdly, "when there Is only one egg?" "Why," retorted the stem landlady bnapplly. "lake it or leave it!" Answers. The Bullies. I stood on the bridge at midnight. As the dock was striking the hour, They struck It in cottage and palace, They struck It In cellar and tower. And I cried out in hot Indignation: "Oh, clocks, great In number and power, I think you're all cruel and cowardly To slriko a defenseless young hour." Chicago News, Generous. "Come here. Tommy," called hia mother from the edge of the jond. as Bhe concealed the birch switch behind her. "What do you want, ma?" asked the little loy, suspiciously. "I want to give you something." "I I ain't doing nuttln', ma." "Then I shall be even moro liberal. I am going to give you tomething for nothing." Exchange. Useless Popularity. "It 'ud be a great thing," Raid Farm er Corntossle, 'If we lived in the time that feller lectured about, when people carved what they had to say on stone lnslo'd o wrltin' them.' "I don't see what good that ud do us," replied his wlfo. "I could build a bouse with the valentines val-entines our daujthter Jeruahay has been gettln' these lat four or five years." Washington Star. Synonymous. "Pardon me," said the young man from New York, "but may I inquire what kind of a dog that le?" "Certainly," replied tho Boston maid "He Is an expectorator." "Indeed," exclaimed tho young man; "I don't taluk I ever hoard of the breed." "No dortit," rejoined the fair owner. |