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Show B- i Dorothy Dix Talks j l DON'T WRITE DISCOURAGING LETTERS II i During tho, war the families of the r! soldiers werp constantly urged not to ! write thegi gloomy letters, for It was i found that nothing so effectually and, I " quickly took1 tho heart out of tho men, I and broke down their morale,- as toj it tgot' letters-from home filled with wails f and weeps and dismal news. J Tho ban on tho doleful letter is onc( pf tho wartime measures that we may contlnuo in peace with advantage. Mosf of us arc every day at grip with llfo In a battle that is just as fierce j as any ever fought on the bloody fields of- France, and that calls on us fori just as much courage, and endurance,! and as high a spirit, if we are to win! out, and wo, too, need words of cheer to back us up, not screeds of woo to dopress us, and take the last bit of fight out of us. Tho writing of blue letters Is a crltno against our peace and happiness happi-ness that Is chiefly committed by thoso of pur households, for It is only those who love us best who feel that they havo a perfect right to make us mlscr-Wonicn mlscr-Wonicn to Blnmc. And it Is a crime to which tho female fe-male sex Is as prone as tho sparks aro jto fly upwards. Heaven knows why, ,'but generally when a woman sits down and takes her pen in hand to Indict a j&s letter, she seems not to dip into Ink, but Into a well of tears, Pessimism of tho deepest, darkest " dyo pervades her every lino. Funerals v and divorces, and hideous accidents, and bankruptcies aro the tld bits of gossip she chronicles. She recalls the sorrows of tho past. She dwells tipon tho harrowing state of the present, and draws a melancholy forecast of the future. Tho lamentations of Joro-mlah Joro-mlah havo nothing in cobs of gloom over tho avcrago family letter. .Not long ago, a woman who has many cares and anxieties of her own, and who is making a heroic struggle to support herself and her two children, chil-dren, said to me: Sodden With Misery-"I Misery-"I adore my mother, but when I get a letter from her It is somotlmes two (or throe days before I can summon up 'ncrvo enough to even open It. The h'cry sight of her handwriting on an envolopo sends my spirits down to zo'ro, and makes mo feel that some awful calamity Is hanging over me. I "For mother's letters aro simply f sodden with misery. Sho begins oy I reminding me that sho Is getting old, I and will be with us but a few years I more. She dwells on ovory llttlo pain ll and acho until I fancy her mortally ill, and twice I havo fled to what I supposed was her death bed to find gdL hor well and chipper. H "She tells me about everybody who Is sick, and has had an operation, or who has been run over by an automobile, automo-bile, or lost their money, or had any untoward misfortune. Then sho begins be-gins on family news and really gets down to business. John isn't getting along well in business, and sho forsoju that ' his family will lind in the poor house. John's wife has been nasty to her, and I got a detailed account of tho perpetual mother-in-law and daughter-in-law warfare. Nothing But Grief. "Sarah's husband stayed out until 2 a. in. playing poker, and Sarah and he aro at outs, and she only hopes lor the children's sake it won't come to divorce. Tom has a cough that she fears means consumption, and there follows a long chapter about aunts and cousins who have lost their money, mon-ey, and their cooks, or broken iheir legs, and who seem to have bunched every ill that flesh is heir to. "And then mother pities me until I want to sit down and howl because I havo to work for my living instead of being a millionaire, and because I am a business woman in place of being a queen, although ordinarily I think I'm lucky In having a good job, and am merry as a cricket. "Mother writes tho same sort of Indigo letter to all of her' children who are away from home. 1 often wonder why sh'o does It, and If she never realizes that after we have received re-ceived one of her pessimistic oplsties Ve feel that the whole world Is a vale of trials and tribulations, and that there Is no uso in trying to achieve any happiness or success In it. "She knows that I have about as heavy a burden to bear as I can stagger stag-ger along under. Why, then, add to it the sorrows of those I love and am powerless to help? Why sadden me with the worries and troubles of others, oth-ers, when It does n.o good? "It takes tho heart and courage out of me. It lessens my efficiency be-causo be-causo I am grieving over Susan when I should bo concentrated on my work. It depresses my vitality, and makes mo nervous, and jumpy. It breaks down my moralo and makes me feel like turning coward, and quitter. Disastrous Effects. "Surely If mother and other peopo who indulge their morbid lovo of horrors hor-rors by writing gloomy letters realized how far-reaching and disastrous was tho effect of their walls on tthe recipients, re-cipients, they would refrain from ever burdening the mails with another cerulean mission. rFor my part, I think that the writing writ-ing of discouraging letters should be recognized as a crime punishable by law. If pooplo can't write bright and cheery letters we should be able to get out an injunction prohibiting them from writing at all." There are two explanations of the melancholy letter. The first is selfishness. selfish-ness. -The writer wants to enjoy her troubles by telling them to some one else, and she does so by fist, regardless regard-less of how' they may affect another. It Is not easy to get some one to listen to the recital of your grievances, but when you write them you are sure you have gotten the sad, sad story of your wrongs over to ono person at least. He or she cannot help but hear them. The second reason for the gloomy letter Is that women think it is romantic ro-mantic and poetic' to be miserable. Therefore thoy let thomselvcs go when they sit down to write. Their correspondent corre-spondent isn't there to see, so they post as martyrs, and exaggerate every scratch on their hearts into a compound com-pound fracture that is bound to be fatal. Thoy blot thoir letters with their tears .because It looks highfa-lutln' highfa-lutln' to do so, forgetting that the person per-son at the other end of tho line won i know they were property tears. ICtters Are Different. They do not realize how much more final an impression the written word is than the spoken word. When Betty comes to tell her marriage is a falluro because her husband doesn't understand under-stand her, and that ho is a brute who has reduced her world to cindcrr, ashes and dust, we do not suffer unduly un-duly with her, as we observe that she is tucking away three cups of tea and Innumerable olive sandwiches, and that she is arrayed llko Solomon ?n all his glory, and locking uncommonly well and fit. But when wc get a letter from Betty detailing her domestic woes and representing rep-resenting herself aa a melancholy wreck, we are simply dissolved with pity for the poor darling and wc go through, agonies of sympathy. And just because there Is this power in a scrap of paper we should be careful care-ful how we use it. It should always be with us a bit of white magic that carries good luck to tho ono to whom we send it. It should bo filled with cheer and courage, and love and laughter, never with bad news and raven croaking. Thore is no place for the gloomy letter except the waste paper pa-per basket. Dorothy Dix articles will appear In this paper every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. oo |