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Show LOVE arid MARRIED LIFE bq, the noted author j jdah MGlone Gibson John Returns Home. I have been wondering as I look back over ray early married days that pounds queer doesn't it, as I have only been married three years now. but I mean the first few months after my marriage when one is still suppos ed to be basking under that radiant HrIK which is never on sea or land if everyone's honeymoon is obscured so often by clouds of selfishness and neglect as was mine. And the awful part of it is. that I am sure that John, if he were asked, I would say that he never neglected jne ' in his life. But I am sure If he made this statement, he would make a few mental reservations of things that he had done by saying to himself "What she .doesn't know, won't hurt her " Unfortunately we women know and keep in our hearts the remembrance of many many things that our husbands hus-bands do not think we have ever found out about them It is not always al-ways the wife who accuses who suffers most "i wonuer wnat a man woum tiiinKi if some day while sitting across from his wife he was able to get her abso ! luiely honest opinion of him able to j look info her mind and into her heart" ! knew very well that in leaving me to go home, when I am sure that had he Btayed with me twenty-four hours toner er it would not have made much difference dif-ference in his business, John planted the first seed of repulsion in ray; breast the seed that grew and grew as hp cultivated it with other acts of selfishness until this memorable morn ing when I wished that he were out. of my life forever 1 have alwasv thought that John with his characteristic reluctance to1 face anything that was disagreeable, simply made the telegram he recoivedl an excuse to return' He did not want to be annoved by the solemnity and discomfort of a country funeral John had followed his first impulse and come to me in my trouble and he was somewhat ashamed of himself be-; eause he had not answered my tele j phone call But having made the amend honourDble. from his point of view he felt justified in taking advan I tage of his opportunity lo evade nu un j happy situation Although mother seemed muchi touched and relle.ed by the fact that! Charlie Goodwin was going with us in: the carriage she seemed to feel thati it wouldn't he quite decent for two! i womrn to mourn alonr behind their dead during its last earthly pIl(Lriniap ' yet I made some excuse and did not see c;harlie until he came Into the room just before tb sen ices began He sentPd himself beside my mother and me. 1 tried to toll myself thai it was different dif-ferent with Charlie. He had loved my! father and mother had known them all his life and owed a great deal to them I tried to bo just to John, but all the while, even above my sorrow, I kept feeling a deep respntmcnt John had told me that he never had felt for any other being what he felt for me. We had to live our lives together There should be between us the ! strongest bonds possible between two human beings, and yet he left me to, bear mv sorrow alone left me to the j gravp r.nd curious glances of the en fire little town whre 1 was born It seemed to me as I passed out with my mother and Charlie to the carriage that I could fairly hear the wondering comments upon the situation. What wonder my indignation almost overpowered my grief" Charlie said nothing to me about mv husband on ihe way to the cemetery I think if he had asked me any of the usual Questions or made any commonplace common-place remarks which would lead me to think he was trying to excuse John's absencp, my smouldering anger against my husband would have burst into vivid flame. And yet his very silence was almost unbearable. I wanted his sympathy. Oh, how I wanted his sympathy, and yet I could not have Mood his piiy. As we walked from the carriage across the greensward to the flower lined grave of my father, I felt as though I mint say: "Why oh why. is! it not I that Is to lie here''" It seemed! to me that I could never go shack to I John, to his mother, lo the gaiety and. Joyousness of his friends It was then that I wanted to die 1 wanted to go out of John's life but most of all I ihink I wanted to hurl him just ;is he had hurl me. "Ashes to ashes and dust to dust" I heard thp words and through my eyes refused to see I knew it was the end i Rack, far back in my consciousness lurked thp fact that the joyous wooded life I had anticipated with sueh higb hopo only a short time before, was crumbling ashes to ashes and dust to. dust (Continued tomorrow) |