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Show I JUST FOR FUN M What Happened to Jones. H Jones was at the theater, aud, M behind him sat a lady with a child M on her lap which was crying un- H ceasingly. Unable .to stand it any H longer, Jones turned smilingly to H the lady and asked: H- "Has that infant of yours been H christened yet, ma'am?1' H "No sir," replied the woman. H "If I were you I would call it H 'Good Idea, " said Jones. H "And why 'Good idea'?" said the H lady, indignantly. H "Because," said Jones, "it .should H he carried out." H It was Jones who had to bo car- H riod out Baltimore Sun. H H So Klndhearted. H Simpklns always was softheart- H edT This is what he wrote: H "Dear Mrs. Jones. Your hus- H band caunot come home today he- M cause his bathing suit was washed B away. M "P. S. Poor Jones was Inside H the suit." National Monthly. H Doing Good, H "I must congratulate you," said H the man with the cold gray eye. H "Your paper is truly filling a long- H felt want." H "Apparently you haven't heard," H the editor of tho Weekly Wasp ro H plied, "that we have suspended H publication," H "Yes," said tho man; "that's H what,. I moan." Catholic Standard M and.Timed. ' c- M 1 - . . . The Rlff-Raff of England. There is one person, or rather personage, who .will play a very important part in the forthcoming coronation, and ho is the driver0 of tho state coach. A King's coachman coach-man is usually aware of the dignity dig-nity that surrounds his office. Certainly Cer-tainly tho coachman to her late majesty Queen Victoria had no mean misgivings on that score. At tho 1887 jubilee this functionary was asked if ho was driving any of the royal and imporial guests who were at that time quartered lu Buckingham Palace. ''No, sir," was the crushing reply. ' I am the Queen'B coachruau; I don't drive the riff-raff." London Chronicle. v' Unread Rombrants. On a recent voyage Chief Engineer En-gineer Galloway of tho ocean Unor Lapland was showing a Texan over tho ship. Thoy got to talking and Galloway said it seemed a pity that American milHonarles were bringing bring-ing so many European art treasures treas-ures to this country nowadays. "It hardly right," he argued, "that men who Just happen to have the monoy should be able to take Rembrandts and Van Dycks from countries that havo had thorn for genoratlons." . "That's so," agreed tho Texan. "ThoBe fellows JuBt go over to Europe and buy 'em up, don't they? Why, say, Galoway, not one in ten'U ever read Wl" Philadelphia , Saturday Evening Post |