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Show i WHAT WE UCUALLY FORGET "Pretty soft for thn,t mnn h doesu't have a thing to worry about." "Who?" ,! "That gray-haired gentleman ove there. He has all the money he'll ever need." ; "Oh ! Do you know him?" 4 "Just by reputation." "Well, he worked stendil; 40 years, day and night, earning his right to rest now." r Worked Both Waya. , Ilewltt You look gluiu. What's v the matter? Jewett Matter enough. I pave m wife a ticket' to the town Where her mother lives for a present. - Hewitt That was nice. Jewett Was It? The confounded1 ticket was good in either dlfectlou and my wife sent It to her mother I to come' here on and I'm oa my way to the train., to meet her." , Talent Feared. .. "You have not cultivated the art of oratory?" "My constituents . say they don't 1 want an orator In my place." replied I Senator Sorghum. "They're afraid an orator might be out delivering Iwturet when he ought 'o be answering malt or keeping tub on the wngre-sloual j" debutes." : ' . f ,....7...V.- , i ) : Sudden Activities. ! i "I understand tltr . has been S , crime, wave in Crimson Qulch." .S! , I ' "Nothing , of vjhe , kind I" . protested Cactus Joe, ."Our beautiful an' grow- i in cuy ijhb Huuereu in reputation sun- i ply because our new sheriff got rest- less on started dlggln' up a lot o goa- sip that nobody has been payln'. at- tention to for years." 'nterestlng Specimen. J "I'm afraid our .hoy Josh Is n lounge I lizard." said Fanner Corntossel. "He ain't," replied Josh's fond moth- f er. "He's only a pleslosaurus." "How Jo you make that out ?" "I happened to see In the dictionary i that 'pleslosaurus' means 'near Hz- I nrd.'" tgsjjjjjMHBaWBMNavinMBHaiMaMiMesaiaMBiMHHBjBV - ADORABLE SCARS , : "What a horrid acar George has on his forehead." -Horrid? The Idea! Why, he got l that in a football game." Legislation. . . . Our let telatur does not 'pause , To iiced. th speeches long ilnce spoke. It's easier to make new laws -' .-,. Than to repair the ones we've broke. j "The Exhausting Ordeal. . "Do you expect to do inncli work it you succeed In getting re-elected?" f "I'm not sure whether I'll be able to," replied Senator Sorghum. "The campaign promises to be so nerve- racking and exhausting thut I may I require almost the entire term cf of- See to rest up for another one." ' . The Changslesa Record. "You would rather be photographed than Interviewed?" f "I'm not so sure about that," an- t iwered Senator Sorghum. "If a photo- ; graph happens to present you in a disadvantageous dis-advantageous . attitude there's . no t cbaure for vou to come out next duy with a statement thut It has beer y garbled," ., I Hard-Bolled. ' 1 "Don't you ever work?" asked the 1 Irascible citizen.' l Tm a student, sir," said the appll cant for a thin dime. "Of whatr "Of humanity." "Is that so?" Well, the specimen ! who is Just now engaging your atton- Hon Is a four-minute egg. Get out J" ' " ' ! Ironical. t Villain (laughing) Ho, Ha! Tou are helpless; the old homesteud be- J longs to me. Hero And whpre are the popers? Villain At the blacksmith's. Hero You are having them forged. ' Villain Nay. nay. 1 nil having ihetij died. Princeton Tiger. What More Is Needed. "P.ut. my dear sir," protested thn congressman to the applicant ftir a government J"h, you are totally unfit for the position you seek." "And you have the lieHrt to tell me that," replied the applicant, as he iurst Into tears, "when I've voted the straight party ticket all my lite." Decidedly Touching. Will- -I Just saw a touching utene, Itob What whs it? Will Two fat men In n 4 by fl rl vator, They touched nn all wV. |
