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Show Kathleen Norris Says: Married Children BH Syndicate. WNTJ Features. "Why not be engaged to each other jor awhile? Why not have a year without with-out rushing and planning and hurrying breathlessly to church?" By KATHLEEN NORRIS SHORT engagements are the fashion in America. Exactly why they are considered smart, and why a long enagement seems to reflect re-flect upon both the girl and her sweetheart, it is hard to say. Perhaps the implication is that if a marriage does not swiftly follow the announcement announce-ment of an engagement the humiliating thought will be that the young couple can't afford to get married just now. This Is often the case, of course. But our young people are so seasi-tive seasi-tive to the opinions ef their friends that they go right ahead and get married and pay the piper afterward. after-ward. In wiser and more ripened societies, socie-ties, societies not so close to the adventurer, ad-venturer, explorer, pioneer stage, there is such a thing as being engaged. en-gaged. This state is not composed of the mere hurried weeks of transition transi-tion from maid to wife, with the family scrambling through arrangements arrange-ments and the friends hastily selecting se-lecting gifts. It is a recognized experience, ex-perience, and a very pleasant one. Yet it is one which, in our way of doing things, cheats a girL Just as too early marriage robs a woman of a rightful time of fun, dancing, independence and youthful good times with other girls and boys, so this dash from engagement into wedlock deprives us, as a nation, na-tion, of one of the legitimate enjoyments enjoy-ments of life. The instant a girl and boy pledge their love to each other, all the older women of the family and group start in with plans for the wedding; the date must be immediately im-mediately set. Why not be engaged to each other for a while? Why not have a year without rushing and planning and hurrying breathlessly to church? Why not friendship and companionship companion-ship and happy times together, in the recognized dignified status of being be-ing engaged? A Joyous Time. It would be better so. It would be much better for our girls and boys if they learned in this time to control the sex urge that is at the base of all engagements, learned what interests and hopes and amusements they share, learned that honeymoon excitement is not the base and substance and entirety entire-ty of the relationship between a man and a woman. Well, whether we can ever make our youngsters realize that or not, certain it is that they are paying high today and will pay tomorrow and tomorrow for the wild wave of wartime marriages, those marriages mar-riages that were entered into after only weeks of acquaintanceship, and immediately interrupted by long war partings. In most cases there was no real engagement period pe-riod at all; carried along by the first rush of young passion the boy and girl hadn't a moment to spare from wedding plans in the brief interval. in-terval. Such a girl is Norma, a youngster that I have loved since she was born. She is 18 now; she was mar- "Wild wat of tcartime marriages . . NO TIME TO GET ACQUAINTED During the ivar thousands of young couples married in great haste. This was due to several influences, such as the excitement of the period, the fear of many girls they might become old maids unless they acted quickly, and the yearning yearn-ing of young men for "some one to come home to." Many of these marriages have turned out very well, but others are heading towards the break-up. Miss Norris bla mes the very short engagement period for the collapse of so many dreams. The young people never really got acquainted before they rushed into matrimony. matri-mony. No wonder there is a lot ef disillusionment and friction, fric-tion, now that the men have returned! Real love must develop de-velop slowly and quietly, and this takes time. ried just a year ago to a boy who was her husband for only seVen weeks before he went overseas. Norma waited alone for the baby. She discovered that a baby is quite a problem; the long last weeks of dragging about were hard on Norma Nor-ma and she was innocently surprised sur-prised when she discovered that her infant daughter was exacting, tiring, tir-ing, a heavy responsibility and a constant drag on her freedom. Jock Wants French Girl. Norma's own mother is a grass widow, very pretty and flirtatious at 38, and she doesn't like the role of grandmother in fact, she won't accept it. She laughs at Norma's troubles, and reminds her that the youthful marriage was Norma's own choice. Now Jock is home again, and he tells Norma that he wants to marry mar-ry a French girl named Rose-Marie. He is desperately, deeply in love this time, he can't think of anything but the new love. Rose-Marie has come to this country, and is settled in Reno, waiting for Jock. Norma is outraged; she doesn't know where to turn. Jock has only a modest mod-est salary; he doesn't make enough to support himself and one woman, let alone two women and a child. Just now, persuaded by friends, Jock and Norma and the baby are living with an aunt of hers, keeping keep-ing the surface smooth, and making mak-ing an attempt to renew the old feeling. But a cold flaxseed plaster is not clammier than dead passion, especially when a new infatuation has taken possession of man or wife. Jock probably sees Norma now as only an obstruction in the radiant path that leads to Rose-Marie. He. is writing Rose-Marie, of course, that any day Norma may give him permission to sue for divorce. He has not character enough to put the new love out of his heart, and live for his wife and child. On her side Norma is completely unfitted to see the situation through with the patience and goodness that must win such a husband in the end. They are children who have taken an exciting dream for. reality, and are now awake. |