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Show Wonders of the Wind. The Honorable Victor Murdock, of Kansas, was expatiating upon the won. ders of the state to a group In the house cloakroom, and he told this tale; "A stranger from the east was proceeding pro-ceeding through a certain section of Kansas when he observed what seemed seem-ed to him to be a tall chimney ris-ing ris-ing above the monotonous level of tha prairie. ' What is that chimney used for? he asked the man with him, a native. "Somebody building a factory in this God-forsaken quarter?" "That ain't no chimney," said the other. "That's Hank Lewis' well. Cy-clone Cy-clone come along an' turned her inside out." Everybody's. Smoothing It Out. A young Parisian, noted for his grace and readiness as a second in many duels, had been asked by a friend to accompany him to the mayors may-ors office and affix his signature a? a witness to the matrimonial ceremony. cere-mony. He consented, but when the scene was reached awkwardly forgot himself. him-self. Just as the mayor was ready for the last formalities be broke out, to the astonishment of all parties, with the remark: "Gentlemen, cannot this unhappy affair be arranged? Is there no way of preventing this sad occurrence?" Then There Was Trouble. A man went into a store one day to make a purchase. It was early, and the storekeeper and his little boy were alone in the house. The proprietor of the store had to go upstairs to get his cash box in order to procure some change, but before doing so he went into the little room next to the shop and whispered to the boy: "Watch the gentleman that he don't steal anything," and, bringing him out, seated him on the counter. As soon as the proprietor returned the child sang out: "Pa, he didn't 6teal anything; I watched him." Stubbornness of Husbands. 'My husband is one of the most stubborn men in the world." '"He can't he any more stubborn than mine." "Oh, yes, I'm sure he must be. Yesterday Yes-terday 1 had an engagement to meet him at 3 o'clock." "Yes?" "Well, it was nearly 4:30 when I got there, and he won't admit yet that the rest he got while he was waiting i did him good." London Evenlug , Standard. . Found in the Ballot Box. "What do you mean?" demanded the woman watcher at the polls, i "What's wrong?" "I hear you have been throwing out the ballots of women." "We have not. We did throw out . a recipe for sponge cake, a package of', powder papers, and a couple of love letters." Judge. Squeezed. "Help me on with this overcoat, my V i feach," said Herbert to Adele U "No Herbert. I'm not your peach. , nit your lemon. And if you want . ' . lemon aid you know what you must do . first." Herbert promptly squeezed the 1c iron. Veiled Wisdom. ) ''What are you laughing at. dear?" i T was just thinking how you used , to sit and hold ly hand for an hour at a time before we were married, i how si.iy you were'" "I wasn't Billy at all. I held your ' piano." " aWSy trom tbe A Celebrity. 1 tn7U h6'S the ma o put thl . town on the map?" I s him, stranger. He just fin- ' h "iS Scntpn ho,it six . months ago.'-Cirmingham Age-IIer- Bon;reTrBuTiTess. "That man I introduced 5-ou to W "e o the wealthiest citizens of Bo -ton. He s a self-;iu,de man, too." ! I'.umber, ! suppose." "No. indeed. nc s a a,,n, , tacles " seller of spec- Trouble. ' orl'the'r C0"'inK Wh"n 1 von. i or is there going to he trouble"- s-Ud PaTnkhiS1fl,Ur-yPa-1'' Mor ' nana" ' n, T Kin' U b 'rouble. , Papa. re.ped the tot, keeping out of Solved. , "Professor Grouch has at lnat solved I "J- ,n of ao,lshing "What Is his scheme'" ' tl,eTeartt"' 6 W 0 " |
