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Show Didn't Wear It. A prominent New. York business man, who declines the use of hi3 name for reasons most obvious, is telling tell-ing this one on his wife: On his return from a long tour of the west this business man's wife was narrating narrat-ing to him the delightful times she had while he was away. "One night I was invited to a dinner din-ner party at a smart cafe," she said, "and one of the guests was the Turkish Turk-ish ambassador. He was well informed in-formed on every subject and was one of the most entertaining dinner companions com-panions I ever knew." "Did he wear a fez?" asked the husband. hus-band. "No, indeed!" she replied. "He was clean-shaven." Saturday Evening Post. How to Win Her Heart. We know a boy who knows girls, all right. He's only 6 years old, but he observes ob-serves things. We heard his mother calling him down for rudeness at play the other day, and our eavesdropping eaves-dropping was rewarded with this: "Billle," cried the mother, "I, want you to quit teasing that little girl! Aren't you asLamed of yourself?" 'Well, I got to tease somebody, an' " - "You've got to tease somebody? That's a fine idea, 1 must say! And so " "Yes, 'n she wants to be teased. If I quit she'd go play with soma other little boy." Cleveland Plain Dealer. Boundaries Needed. "Ma! Ma!" bawled Freddie as the usual morning wash was going on. "Do my ears belong to my face or my neck?" Ma temporized. "Why what is the matter?" she asked. "I want it decided now. Every time you tell Mary to wash my face or my neck she washes my ears too." Ladies' La-dies' Home Journal. Then It Was Different. Doctor Here, have this put up. It will cost you about 60 cents. Patient Doctor, will you lend m the 50 cents;. Dootor Let me have the prescription. prescrip-tion. There, you can now have It filled for a quarter. The item I scratched out was nerve tonic. Nebraska Ne-braska Awgwan. What She Did With It. "Oh, mother," cried Edith, "I found a little flea on kitty and I caught It!" "What did you do with it?" asked her mother. "Why, I put it back on kitty again, of course. It was her flea." Lippln-tott's. Lippln-tott's. Naughtycal. "What is the difference between port and starboard?" asked the boy. "Port is the left hand and star board the right," replied his fathen "Why do you ask?" "Oh, nothing much, only Tommy Jones got fresh, and I landed a port on his starboard eye." Yourself. Man's greatest enemy is himself. If every man in the world should be as careful of deserving an honest opinion opin-ion of himself as he is of getting the good opinion of others there would a vast 'difference in the standing o the majority of mankind. Heard on the Football Field. Dum Nut Look at 'em in that mud! How will they ever get clean? Wiseacre Huh! What do you suppose sup-pose the scrub team is for? Tiget Club. |
