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Show Kathleen Norris Says: When His Wife and Mother Live Togetlier Bell Syndicate. H'NU Features. " "Mom evidently doesn't want Nan to have too good a time, criticizes her Buying dresses and wants the radio turned off at half past ten," By KATHLEEN NORRIS IT IS always a great worry to a soldier when his mother moth-er doesn't like his girl. The girl may be only a sweetheart, jr a promised wife, or an actual ac-tual wife; it doesn't matter, he wants them to like each other. When these two women take the trouble to write to the distant dis-tant battlefronts all sorts of catty little remarks about each other, it has a bad effect Dn any man's morale. This is especially true if he has left a brand-new wife behind him, perhaps in his mother's neighborhood, neigh-borhood, or in her actual home. He doesn't realize that ' they are really getting on pretty well together, the older woman glad to have company, the younger one feeling herself her-self protected and safe. In sudden moods of irritation they write him, and he believes be-lieves that every moment they spend together is torture to them both. "Which should have the say ot it In the house. Mother or Nan?" writes a distracted marine from Guadalcanal. "They keep writing to ask me, and I'm darned if I know. Mom evidently doesn't want Nan to have too good a time, criticizes criti-cizes her buying dresses and wants the radio turned oft at half-past ten If some of the crowd comes in to dance or play games. Nan says Mom is too sharp with her; Mom works ten hours a day in a valve works and sometimes she gets home tired and unreasonable. Marine's Wife Good Cook. "My little sweetheart," this letter goes on fondly, "is really a good cook and does her share in the kitchen kitch-en and with housekeeping, but she is only 19; she belongs to a nice little crowd, and of course I want her to have a good time. "After I left, Nan thought she might be going to have a baby, and It seems Mom nearly went crazy over the idea of the expense and the work. However, there is no baby in the immediate prospect now, though we both would love to have one. I am 20 years old, and before the war worked in a box factory. After the war I hope to complete a course in engineering, when Nan and I will have a little home of our own. My mother has enough to live on. but she is making good money now in war work. Please tell me who, in this case, ought to be boss. I'm crazy about them both and I know there ought to be some way to work it out and deeply oblige, Harris B." 1 My dear Harris, the troubles of these women don't sound very serious. se-rious. Evidently your mother doesn't siupc'sf Nan of anything but a sort of youthful love of pleasure, and Nan's help with housework and her pleasure at the thought of motherhood mother-hood speak well for her. Your mother's moth-er's feeling about the child was natural nat-ural enough, or rather it was natural to express these fears in war time, with Nan so young and you ordered away. In her heart of hearts she would rejoice in the grandchild. Flatter them both when you write home. Tell them what a delight it is to you to think of them together, how amused you are that they can't find anything more basic to quarrel about than an occasional new dress or late radio program; say that lots of men say that their wives and their mothers simply won't live to- "The loneliness of two establishments. establish-ments. . . HARMONY FOR HIS SAKE It's a very sensible arrangement arrange-ment for a soldier's wrfe and mother to live together. It gives them both a feeling of security se-curity and comfort. They both love the same man in different differ-ent ways of course,' so there is no rivalry there. They can share his letters, talk about him to each other, knowing that they care more than anyone any-one else in the world. Living together is also more convenient and cheaper for two women, as ivell as safer. If there are children, the older woman can look after them sometimes. She is glad to be helpful. This arrangement helps to lessen the serviceman's service-man's worries when he is far away. Being human, however, two women a generation apart in interests and ideas will sometimes some-times get on each other's nerves. When they write about their petty disagreements to a soldier at the front, they are harming his morale. Generally there is no serious quarrel. For the soldier's sake, as well as for their own, the wife and mother should endeavor to get on harmoniously. They should keep their complaints and criticisms out of their letters to their man at the front who has worries enough already. gether, which makes you very proud. Remind your mother that she is the finest, gentlest, most generous gen-erous woman you ever knew, and say that Nan loves her. And write Nan that you know this , arrangement arrange-ment isn't what your dear courageous coura-geous little wife expected married life to be, but that wars end, and you'll be back one of these days, and make it up to her with all the rest of your life. One Type of War Service. The real answer to your letter ought to go to your mother and Nan They probably only need a word oi advice to make this arrangement work, because of their love for you. It is a real type of war-service for a man's wife and his family to make a harmonious adjustment of thu sort for the duration; it is easier, less expensive, more practical foi both. Whatever news comes from the man they both love they can share; and it, gives him a greal sense of stability and security tc have them together. He worries much less about his young wife about his babies if there are chil dren, to know that the older wolnar is with them, sharing the work anc the responsibility. If both women will weigh the al tornative; the difficulties and the loneliness of two establishments; the doubled cost; the solitary and unin tcresting menls. they may mutually reach the conclusion that the natura and the dignified thing is for their to put up with the inevitable littU difficulties that arise because thei are of different ages, and in un essential trifles are of differen tastes, interests, ambitions, too Nan will find a mother a mihti convenient thing to have behind hei in these troubled days, and as foi Harris' mother why. the one thinf for which she prays in this world l-that l-that her son's wife will love her Sclf-Pisciplined Teacher Adults must be self-disciplined t be effective teachers of children says Mrs. Belle Murray of the U. o Michigan. They need to give theii children training in judgment anc training in will, so that the child wil not only know what to do. but wan-to wan-to do it. "Learn the blessedness of si lence," urged Mrs. Murray. "If vol wait a minute before giving a chile an order, he often performs ns ym want him to do, but an order take: the joy out of it for him." j |