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Show Inspired Thought THE CONSCIENTIOUS father was dispensing advice to his son who. was about to be married. "Cooperation is the foundation of successful marriage," pop said solemnly. "You must do things together. to-gether. For instance, if your wife wants to go for a walk, go for a walk with her. If she wants to go to the movies, go to the movies with her. If she wants to do the dishes, do the dishes with her." The son listened dutifully, then asked: "Suppose she wants to mop the floor?" INTRIGUING A nurse in a mental hospital noticed no-ticed a patient with his ear close to the wall, listening intently. The patient help up a finger as a warning warn-ing to be quiet. Then he beckoned . the nurse over and said, "Listen here." The nurse listened for some time and then said, "I can't hear anything." "No," said the patient, "and it's been like that all dayl" Chain of Events Very stern parent indeed, "Come , here, sir! What is this complaint the school master has made against you?" Much injured youth, "It's just nothing at all. You see, Jimmy Hughes bent a pin, and I only just left it on the teacher's chair for him to look at, and he came in without his specs and sat right down on the pin and now he blames me for it." Justifiable Homicide "You say this woman shot her husband with this pistol and at close range?" asked the coroner of the eye-witness to the tragedy. "Yes, sir." "Were there powder marks on his face?" "Yes, sir; that's why she shot him!" That Should Do It Wife: "You seem disappointed with your package." Husband: "Yes, I answered an advertisment for a device to keep grocery bills down and the firm sent me a paper weight." Cold Wave, That Is Freddy "What is an iceberg, Daddy?" Daddy "Why, it's a kind of a permanent wave, son." NO HURRY C OH, GOODY.' HCR COMES THE iO:l7 J "Another farmer is bringing suit against our road on account of his cows," said the railway clerk. "This time he complains that our trains go so slow the passengers reach out and milk his cows as they go by." Jnst for The Record A junior member of a metropolitan metropoli-tan law firm traveled to a nearby city to consult a client. When he reached his destination, he was embarrassed to find he'd forgotten forgot-ten the client's name. Timorously he wired his office: "What is our client's name?" The company replied: "Williams, Edgar B. Your name is Johnson, Elmer." COMPASSIONATE Lady in Restaurant: "Why don't you shoo flies?" Waiter: "Well, you see, it's hot today, so we thought we'd let them run around barefooted." |