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Show Rollo-Glyphics Rollo-Glyphics I ByKlienRollo "I am inspected, suspected and disrespected, and though I am bled white maintaining a constant flow of money to other people, there simply does not seem to be enough to go around. "Please do not turn off my electricity, tor due to a miraculous stroke of jood fortune, you will get your money, while chopping out a loin of pork this morning, I was lucky enough to miss and completely sever my thumb. It was insured. The money will arrive next week, at which time I will endorse the check and forward it to you. "I shall be grateful for your patience. Sincerely yours. With a new year and income in-come tax facing most of us, a story, brought to me by Alice Tuckett. It was originally printed in the publication "Human Events." Although not totally apropro, the substance is relavent and quite humorous. An electric light company received the following letter from one of its customers: "Dear Electric Light Company: "You have asked why I have not sent a check in payment of the bill I owe you are threatening to turn off my current. Let me explain: "The present condition of my bank account is due to laws-federal laws, state laws, county laws, city laws and trade association laws. The only laws that do not affect my small business are outlaws. We have never been license, inspection license, weigher's license, dairy license, carter's license, delivery truck license and interstate deliverer's license. I bought two licenses voluntarily, a marriage license and a dog license. "My trade association insists that I contribute to causes. I have given to the Red Cross, Community Chest, United Fund, Girl Scouts, Cub Scouts, Brownies, Salvation Army, Heart Fund, Cerebral Palsy Fund, Muscular Distrophy Fund, Child Care Center, Old Folks' Center, Fund for the Blind, Fund for the Indigent, In-digent, four hospitals, four churches, one synagogue and two volunteer fire companies. "I have one employee. I must pay his Blue Cross, Blue Shield, unemployment compensation, workmen's robbed llligally; only by elected officials. "Because of these laws of many kinds I am compelled to pay taxes--a business tax, amusement tax, head tax, bank tax, school tax, gas tax, light tax, water tax, sales tax, excise tax, auto tax, phone tax, sewer tax, garbage tax, fire tax, highway high-way tax, and three kinds of income tax-federal, state and city. "These laws also require me to get licenses at varying fees for my small meat store-a business license, refrigeration license, retailer's license, sanitation compensation, Social Security, Retirement Pension Fund, and Company life insurance premiums. "For the sake of my bank, my creditors and my business, I am required by law to carry life insurance, property insurance, liability " insurance, Burglar in-sruance, in-sruance, fire insurance, accident insurance, windstorm, wind-storm, flood and earthquake insurance, and freezer-loss insurance. "I must pay these premiums promptly or my insurance coverage, like my electricity, will be turned off. |