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Show SPICE. "Well, how does It seem to be en-gaged en-gaged to such a wealthy girl?" "Klne! i:vcry tlmo I kiss her I feel as If I wcro taking tho coupon off a government bond" Life. Mrs. Dc Vere I was photographed In my low-cut bull gown, but somehow tho plctuio didn't tnko good Mr. Do Vere I don't seo why; there certainly was enough exposure Haiti-more Haiti-more Sun. In tho Year 2050. Young Man Aro )ou n soldlei? Old Man Yes, sir. I have fought fifty scars ln tho South African war and my futher nnd grandfather both spent their lives helping to lick the' Doers." Ohio State Journal. Her rather No, slrj sou can't have her. I won't have n son-in-law who lias no more brains thun to want to muiry u glil with no moro sense than my daughter has shown In ullnwlns sou to think sou could huvo her." Chicago Dally News. "It's a shanio!" exclaimed Meandering Meander-ing Mike, hs ho tossed tho pleco of now simper fiom him, "Wlmt was sou rcadln' about?' usked I'loddlng I'ete. "Deso donations by Andrew Carnegie. Carne-gie. It'n a shanio to bo spcndln' so much money for llbiuiles when dcy orter be bus in' cool. bookH fur somo o' doso Jails wo Imvo to stop ut." Ux-change, Ux-change, "Yes," wrt sny to Madnmo Msstlnue, who has summoned tho tplrlts from the vasty deep to tell us things ubo.ut our past, picrent mid futuie "Yes, wo huvo been much pleased with the spirits sou hivo trolled out nf the cab. Inct, lint whs Is it that nil their lobm wo see the legend 'Dbo fiudd's Soap-?" ' Ah," murmured iho mudnuio, n soulful soul-ful Miillo Hitting .tciots her Inspired iiMintrhnncc, "did s-ou never hear of nn advertising medium?" JJaltlmcu American. Tho !iy hnd shown such a degice of Iguniatue and mental olHimonojs tli.it tho teacher was dishorn tened, and slio llnnlly nsked sarcnstlmllyi "f)o j0ti know whether (Ir-oige Washington was a soldier or a snllot?" "Ilo waa n soldier," replied tho urchin, ur-chin, piomptls "How do sou know that?" she per-ststed. per-ststed. " 'Cause I saw a plctuie nf him cross. Inc tho lOelawnie, nn' any Mllor'd know enough not to Maud up In the boat "Chicago Hvenlnc Post Mamma had been Impressing upon the little ones tho verse, "And unto lilm that nmlteth thto un ono cheek, nf. fer ulf,o ihi- other" After a while Paul cano In crslnp, "Why, w lint's tho mattei?" said mamma. "Hltr hit me," sold Paul. "Have ou forgotten about turning the other cheek?" asked rnuinma. No," snld Paul ' hut 1 couldn't! una lilt me In tho middle." Little Chronicle Chron-icle First Flat Dweller Dbes sour Janitor l.eep your flat warm? Becond Flat Dweller T.'hy, $es ex cepting during tho winter months, Somervlllo Journal. "That friend of yours is a good deal of a Utopian, lsn t ho?" "He is worse than that," answered the manswho can't refuse u request, "he's an I-O-Utoplnn " Washington Star, "It vi as kinder funns- that is, over-lookln' over-lookln' the seilnusness of It," said tho 1 indlord of tho Pcltyvlllo tavern. "You see, Miss Gubrlella Innks, who hns not mennln' any disrespect to her, jou understand been nn old maid so long that lt'"i generally believed to he chronic, uppinnched tho rnllioad cross-in', cross-in', nnd n lirulteman waved a red flag nt her to warn her of tho danger. She thought ho wos trslng to flirt with hor, nnd udvanced townrd him with n smile; and n cubooso that was bucklu' up struck her good and plenty. Lucklls', no bones wero broken; and tho first thing she said when sho recovered con-sclousncfsa con-sclousncfsa was: "'Oh. this is so sudden!1 "Smart Set. |
