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Show EVER HOPEFUL "WIi.it is tin- u.o nf a lobbyist?" asked tlie inciiiiriii;; friend. "No use whatever," answered Senator Sen-ator Sorghum. "Tlien why do lobbyists hang around?" "The wicked are patient and vigilant. vig-ilant. History shows that even the highest honesty of which humanity is capable is liable to weaken a little now and then." M Mfc .a. CADDIE WIT George Dunlap, Walker cup star, said at a farewell dinner before be sailed for England : "I'd make a better speech if I were as witty as the average caddie. "A man was playing on a municipal munici-pal course called the Common, and his first drive sent a chunk of earth as big as a ball sailing down the Geld. "Well, well! Extraordinary!" the man growled. " Teh,' said the caddie, 'it is a bit out of the common.' " Philadelphia Bulletin. Strange Birds Uncle (from Australia) Ah, my boy, I've seen boomerangs flying about till the air was thick with 'em. Willie (hazy as to the nature of a boomerang) Oh, uncle, you might have brought me home one of their eggs ! Border Cities Star. POSITIVE PROOF a$ "I once knew a fellow who gave a girl an engagement ring of opals." "Wasn't that unlucky?" "You bet it was ! She married him." No Argument "Well," said the cheerful wife, who labored under the delusion that she had an operatic soprano voice, "if worst were to come to worst I could keep the wolf away from the door Dy singing." "Undoubtedly !" was the instant response. re-sponse. Exchange. Another Playboy "I hear that Mrs. Ilighbride Is much disappointed in her husband." "Dreadfully. She understood he was a home-loving man and now he wants to go along with her everywhere every-where she goes." Border Cities Star. Lower A way-Scribbler way-Scribbler Let's see, how does that proverb run : "When poverty comes in at the door "? Smart The installment piano goes out at the window. |