Show Logan 0019 stody identifies 'boss1 uran Sunday Husbands hold the power Jay D Schvaneveldt Our research on 400 families shows overwhelmingly that the husband is perceived to be the “boss" in the husband-wif- e relationship Wives have what is referred to as “house power" but the husband is the ultimate power partner Some 400 university students have completed profiles on their parents in which they were to assess them is a husband and wife in regard to the power structure adequacy of communication and whether they believed the marriage was a success It was assumed that a mature adult such as a university student would be in a unique position to make judgment as they would bring about 20 yean of intimate observation in which they have seen their parents in a variety of situations and in particular opportunities to see the marriage in operation as a husband and wife interact on a multitude of issues The students were charged to be objective honest and to focus directly on the husband-wif- e relationship not parental roles My own research shows that a man and a woman might be quite effective in their ndei as a father and mother but rather ineffective as a husband and wife Our analysis Indicates that a college age student can be quite objective insightful and analytical in regard to this very sensitive — assignment assessing the husband and wife relationship of the two people that they have known as mom and dad for ail of those years The data are clear and hard — well over N percent of all students see the husband as having the main power in the marriage These data do not seem to change at all over a six-yeperiod Also neither religion and occupational status of family nor gender status of the respondent alter this power structure mode Less than 2 percent Of the marriages are perceived as being completely egalitarian and the wife is seen as the dominant force in about 2 percent of the marriages In the marriage and family research the marital partner with the most power is typically in con-- : trol of family themes time rhyth-- : ms and how the resources of the family are used The one who says how the money is to be spent has the power not the one who merely writes out the checks or pays the bills Besearch shows that resources such as education earning power and contact with significant others gives power in a relationship Furthermore research shows that power is related to communication -t- he more yon talk the more power ar I Z : - - : : !: ! ry will have in the marital relationship This is not shouting or just arguing but input into conversation on a regular basis In addition to these factors which influence power we need to briefly look at the “principle of least interest” This idea has been studied extensively in family functioning and the main idea is very simple — the person with the least interest in you items This research as well as several other studies shows that couples are foolish indeed when they perceive that the partners are obligated to tell all Telling all “holding nothing back" as we often say does not A promote trust and stability sensitive partner knows what to say and when to say it The timing is critical in real communication Wife considered dominant in 2 percent of marriages the relationship has the most power Traditionally the wife has more investment in marriage and the family — it more often is her career in life The husband most often has an occupation profession or job aside from marriage and the family hence potentially less interest in marriage and the family The person with the fewest alternatives to the marital relationship will typically defer to the other partner and in the United States the person with fewer alternatives to marriage is the wife These young adults also evaluated the adequacy of the communication on these 400 marriages We have a much more balanced picture here at least in terms of percentages About 60 percent say the communication was good another 20 percent report that it was shakey at best and the remaining 20 percent state the communication was poor Couples with good communication had the ability to be calm to assert themselves ideas were welcome and a general openness prevailed They spent time together on a regular basis and more often had a similar value structure which permeated their everyday life They enjoyed each other on a regular basis A high level of involvement in the relationship exists with these couples These couples are not conflict free — they have stresses and issues to work through They have the patience The Herald Journal 1979 - These couples have a hard time getting their feelings expressed because of circumstances such as the setting mood or other counteracting influences Not ail of these marriages are intact At least IS students report that their parents as a husband and wife have married and divorced each other at least two different times A fair number have seen a divorce take place between their parents But the majority about 85 percent reports that the marriage for their mother and father husband and wife is successful These young adults say that a marriage is successful if their parents are still married and living together The marriage is a success if it withstands the winds and erosion of time — this is perhaps the most often expressed rationale Successful rearing of children is also expressed often If a husband and wife can solve the problems that come in rearing children running a household and keeping up with the many activities in community — then the marriage must be a success On the personal side many couples were perceived as being successful in the marriage when they still dated together if they had good communication and if they were expressive in affection for one another Common values a shared faith commitment to the marriage and the influence of religion were very common factors in promoting a strong marriage as stated by these expert inside observers of these 400 marriages Mich (UPI) A Michigan State University researcher says women's speech patterns are hurting their credibility in the classroom Barrie Thorne a member of the MSU Sociology Department said men who speak in an assertive impersonal and competitive manner are often as intelligent regarded and authoritative Because of social patterns however women teachers and students speak in higher softer ways and use many "empty” modifiers and qualifiers such as “fantastic" and “you know” she said She said this manner of speech puts women at a verbal disadvantage and makes it difficult for them to establish credibility in elassroom settings Delighted Customer Expert Carpet Care and Reasonable Prices ARE our Business or Your Money Back ! 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