Show 12 -- The Herald Journal Logan Utah Sunday November 4 1979 Adoption: Here's what to consider By Martha Dixon staff writer $ 1 I So you think you would like to adopt a child and become a family not a couple It isn’t easy but then it isn’t that difficult either I Anyone considering adoption should realise that it is a legal process by which adults become parents of children not born to them and that the same rights and obligations exist as in families related by birth $ t' Two agencies the Utah State Division of Family Services and LDS Church Social Services handle virtually all of the adoptions in Cache Valley Which one you choose to contact will emphasise the needs of the child rather than the adults And be ready to fill out reams of undergo a physical forms examination and submit to extensive interviews According to Linda Smith social worker in charge of adoptions for the Division of Family Services in Cache Rich and Box Elder Counties "By the time a couple goes through all the rlgamarole in adopting a child they are either worn out or quality prospective : r: - I- x: x: t' parents" t‘ The DFS requires the prospective parents to fill out an application form detaling such diverse information as race religion physical F: description ployment em- insurance savings or other assets and provide references Prospective parents must write an autobiography and : w S education income s 4 have a physical examination DFS does not say specifically that proof of infertility is necessary but that such information "will be of benefit" Generally the state will place children in homes Single parents however can be approved for children who are hard to place or to meet an unusual need of a child The fact that husband and wife are of different religions does not bar them from becoming adoptive parents in the eyes of DFS Couples may also adopt children different in race or appearance from themselves The marriage should be of sufficient duration to indicate stability Applications will be accepted only from couples who have been married at least two years The prospective parents should be within the normal age range of parents preferably not more than 40 years older than the child Applications for normal infants will generally be accepted from childless couples years The prospective parents should be within the normal Family income housing and neighborhood will be taken into consideration by the agency However Miss Smith told The Herald Journal that if the family situation seems good the agency will sometimes allow a family with a lower income to adopt a child and y the state will pay a monthly rather than have the child stay In a foster home situation The DFS has more older children (over two) available than infants At the present time there are more adoptable children of mixed racial two-pare- nt sub-side- backgrouMi than Caucasian also there are more boys available than girls "We think it may be easier for a single parent to give up a boy but we’re not sure” Miss Smith said The DFS generally does not charge an adoption fee for children over the age of two The legislature has set a placement fee of $800 for infants However prospective parents must pay for the services of any attorney to complete the legal aspects of the adoption Miss Smith says these fees at the present time are between $250 and $300 The state does charge a small fee to cover the cost of an amended birth certificate Caseworkers from DFS are available after the adoption as they are earlier to assist parents if problems arise A pamphlet "Have you considered adoption?" is available at all Division of Family Services Offices LDS Social Services Most of the adoptions made in Cache Valley are through LDS Social Services "It is a tedious process" Steven Francom caseworker told The Herald Journal "and sometimes people get upset but we are looking for the best home for a child physically mentally emotionally and spiritually" Care is taken Francom said to match educational backgrounds of the biological parents with those of the adoptive parents as well as physical likeness talents and The agency places mostly newborns Francom said because older children usually come from homes where there are problems and thus the stale agencies have been called in Unwed mothers are the source of the most of the babies although more mourn are keeping their infants he said Biological parents must undergo counseling before the agency will take a child for adoption Prospective parents likewise undergo counseling Strict confidentiality is maintained Francom said to provide protection for the child the biological parents and the adoptive family Babies are never placed in the same area from which they come Francom added The LDS Social Service has certain basie criteria for judging the suitability of adoptive parents and many of these are the same as DFS Like DFS the prospective parents must be in good health have a stable marriage be no more than 4Q years older than the child and have financial resources In addition prospective parents must be members of the LDS Church married in the temple and worthy of temple recommends They should have been married for at feast two years If there Is a conclusive Infertility report and three years if the cause of infertility is not known Only a first or second infant can be placed with a family Francom said because of the scarcity of adoptable infants Exceptions are made for older children or children with special needs Each family must undergo an adoptive study including interviews and home visits by a caseworker children vary but are less Adoptions in Cache Valley are handled through the Ogden office of LDS Soeial Services with caseworkers from the local offices doing much of the adoptive study Applicants must wait a minimum of a year from the time of application before they will be considered The average waiting time is usually between three and five years The decision to place a child is made only after consultation with their bishop on the couple’s worthiness Usually the agency prefers to have about ten families from which to choose when placing a child The agency supervises the placement with periodic visits to the home until the adoption is finalised The adoptive parents must pay the attorneys fees to complete the legal aspects of the adoption In addition they are expected to reimburse LDS Social Services for expenses These include a application fee of $175 for infants is paid at the time of placement Fees for older work Francom told The Herald Journal no record of the number of children placed in this area in a year A guideline for adoptions is available through the social services office It reads in part “Church officers and members should never privately arrange for the placement of adoptive children By assignment from the first presidency all matters pertaining to the adoption of children in which the LDS Church is or should be involved has been assigned to the LDS Social that the local office has Schubach The Ring C i i:t The Posts create a family by adoption r Wennergren for specialized treatment of injuries which had left her physically handicapped When it became evident that Trish's stay would be a long one Wennergren who had been give custody when she came to Utah sought a more permanent arrangement for her She was placed under the supervision of the state social service department One evening Fred Post came home and was greeted by "Don’t say no in the first 10 seconds Would you consider adopting a little girl from Bolivia who is physically handicapped?" The family began a series of visits to Trish at the hospital Tom and Terri had to stay downstairs Finally they were able to take Trish on trips outside the hospital On the first of such visits Tom remembers that the first thing she wanted was a balloon The Posts again went through state agencies to adopt Trish But there was one major difference -this time instead the Posts doing the choosing Trish was the one making the decision She had to tell the state agency and the court that she wanted to become a member of the Post family By Martha Dixon staff writer "We wanted a family and we had no choice" said Fred and Jane Post The Posts were sitting the the living room of their home with their three adopted children Tom 17 Terri 15 and Trish 14 Trish was sitting on the floor & playing with the family cat but in a little while she climbed up to sit beside her sister The sisters scuffled playfully as Terri kept trying to tie a bow on Trish’s Mouse Trish giggled and kept pulling the string away "She’s my doing” Terri said “I wanted a little t £ sister" £ The Posts iI r ’ had gathered to explain how they had become a family After fire years of marriage the Posts realized that they would never have any children of their own The only alternative for changing their life from that of a couple to one of a family was adop- tion £ C £ : C- - (0 It didn’t take them long to make up As Jane recalls it about 10 seconds their minds The Posts decided to apply for a child through the state agencies in California where they were living at the time They feel strongly about adopting through agencies rather than by private adoption There is they said more protection for both the child and the prospective parents It took the Posts as long — nine months — to get their first child Tom as it would have to have had their own Actually this was a shorter time than most because they had put few restrictions on the type of child they would take "We just wanted the child to be younger than the number of years we had been married” Jane said But before the Posts got Tom they were interviewed several times at home and in the agency office jointly and separately Their home was inspected and even the windows in the room for the baby were measured The period between the time they were told that they might have a child and when they got Tom was one of excitement and anxiety the Posts remember They finally went on a camping trip to help pass the time “When we first saw Tom who was a little over a year old he was on the back of a pony at the park” Jane said The social workers always have the prospective parents visit with a child at a neutral site so that they can become acquainted It didn't take the Posts long to make up their mind Tom was their son A year and many follow-u- p visits later they went are older before trying to locate their biological parents First of all they will have to go to court in California and petition to have the records opened It may be that the biological parents do not want to be traced Terri and Tom understand this thanks to the careful explanations made by their parents A Kill The Posts are strong advocates of going through an agency and the courts for adopting a child This system they say takes the “whim" out of adoptions because you must work at it The Posts made the decision sixteen years ago to become a family instead of a couple Looking at the five of them in their home its obvious that no one regrets the decision to court and Tom was legally theirs "We went right from the courthouse to make application to get Terri" Jane said While the procedure was the same it took less time Terri was just three weeks old and seemed so tiny to them At the first visit Fred was allowed to bold her but Jane who had a cold was told to keep her distance Now with two children the Posts felt like a real family Soon after they got Terri they moved to Logan Several years later they heard about Trish Trish is from Bolivia She had been brought to the Sbrlners Hospital in Salt Lake City by Dr Boyd Neither Fred nor Jane have any objection to their children finding out about their biological parents when they are more mature They feel that their children have a right to know "It is an honest feeling that our children have expressed" Jane said Trish would like to visit her parents in Bolivia some day and the Posts don't object to that either Trish of course knows her parents but during the long session of treatment in the hospital she lost track of them Only recently has she been able to make contact with them again The parents want Terri and Tom to wait until they REFLECTIONS UHSttfUSoin 75)46 In HrlHgrrland Square fnmr HMHik'iit - Fri 10-- 9 Sat J 10-- 6 Cache Valle' Mall Logan have your Christmas portraits taken now at Pixy ! Special Christmas Package One 8x10 Three 5x7’s 16 Wallets reg $2205 NOW $1755 (Save $450) Pictures may also be purchased individually: Each 5x7 — $245 and Each 8x10 $490 from original package Charge it Deposit $245 which can be applied to the package - special or other portraits from the original package Children up to 12 years of age 2 or 3 children Choice of several poses together $1 00 additional and scenic backgrounds Copies and enlargements of your first choice available at higher prices Satisfaction guaranteed or your money refunded No appointment necessary Offer expires December 31 1979 Pixy® studios are permanently located at Hours: Mon Sat 10 am Phone:752-378- 1 JCPenney am fo 8 pm to 5:30 pm Fri 10 Cache Valley Mall Two Great Ways to Chargo who care Lighting And Horn AccnMoirTni Mon V doming people LIGHT) fir Itk JEWELERS the fflfefost DeO1®© (5 Now is the Time Tom and Terri can’t remember a time when they did not know that they were adopted The expression on their faces was one of puzzlement as if they wondered why they had even been asked a question about being adopted It obviously was of little importance to them except as a point of pride The agency the Posts said advised telling the children that they were adopted “I always used the word so that it was associated with happiness” Janes said "If I was loving the baby feeding bathing playing or even changing diapers I would always say ’How is my beautiful adopted son or daughter?’ depending on which child I was with” Tom and Terri grew up with the word As young children they might not have quite known the meaning of "adopted" but as they grew they developed an understanding and a very healthy attitude toward their special status “Trish knew because she was older” Terri said "But then she had the choice of whether she wanted to be one ofui or not Tom and I we—" "You didn't make the choice we chose you" Jane said and the whole family laughed “Yes but Terri probably would have said no Remember that was her favorite word" Tom added "That's right everything was no no no" Terri agreed are C-2- t "I’ve known I was adopted” Now that the Post children are older’ they would like someday to find out who their biological parents 10 The Heritage ring Hyinljolizcn in the siwrkle of precious gems the birth month of each loved one Skillfully crafted in 14 karat gold you may udd gleuming diamonds or oilier precious gems A Heritage ring is u brilliantly scntimentul remembrance of every child grandchild or unyonc very dlumond Euch 1(90 Kucli emerald 40 Other special 15 precious gems Who were my parents? "Now we are a family” !)-- & 55 tar ikUil) JCftmey 15 off ON ALL GRAND OPENING Announces to Cache Valley Service Master's Professional way of cleaning RESIDENTIAL CARPET CLEANING Call 563-331- 0 For Freo No Obliqation Estimates SAlt ENDS NOVEMBER 16th I Y9 |