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Show Our Man Hoppe Nixon's Secret Punch By ARTHUR HOPPE San Francisco Chronicle Good morning, insomniacs. The Awful Late Show presents Part III of that awful old movie, "The Comeback Kid," starring Kid Nixon Nix-on as the aging middleweight who hasn't won a fight in 12 years and Pat as his loyal wife who wants didn't? But mine's a real humdinger, humding-er, Baby. Wait'll they give me that shot at the title. With. one Secret Punch, I'm not only going to knock out the Champ, I'm going to end the war in Vietnam. PAT: End the war? THE KID: That's right, Baby. I've been telling 'em everywhere, "Wait'll I'm Champ, boys, and unveil un-veil my Secret Punch on those Commie evildoers. Powie! There goes the old war!" Oh, you ought to hear 'em cheer, Baby. The Secret Se-cret Punch is a real crowd pleaser. PAT: But, Kid, if your Secret Punch will end the war, don't you think you should teach to the Champ? Then he could end the war right now. THE KID (frowning) : I would, Baby, because I always put my country first. But my Secret Punch isn't a gimmick. It's a noble concept. con-cept. A biting, gouging, head-butter could never use it only an ex- perienced, sporting, clas like me. 3 PAT: Remember, Kid, rVpt v you fight. ' Ves: E THE KID: Okay, okay Tw is my Secret Punch is such a? erful weapon, I can't let it fan r( the wrong hands. Why, if the (J had it, there's no telling ww , rible things he'd do with it 1 " PAT: Like what? THE KID: Like knock out m, " PAT: I don't really believe tW ?,' such a thing as a Secret Punch THE KID (smiling): Don't t v " yourself, Baby. Just by tab L about my Secret Punch I've scat' 1( my opponents and pleased i s crowd. You can't ask for m' , than that from a Secret Punch PAT: You mean that's alia Se cret Punch ever does? 1 THE KID (happily taking her k ' his arms) : At last, Baby, y0ll'ri beginning to understand the old fight game. v, him to quit the ring forever. As awful old movie fans will remember, The I Kid narrowly lost f a championship battle on points and then hung up his gloves after a shuffling old Cali-, Cali-, fornia club fighter Arthur Hoppe knocked him out two years later. But now he's seeking another shot at the title. And he's just won an important pre-lim in New Hampshire by a nearly unanimous decision. "Nobody laid a glove on me, baby," he tells Pat proudly. "But Kid," says Pat, "there was no one in the ring with you." We pick up the story at that point. sfc THE KID (bobbing and weaving) : They're afraid of me, that's why. Rocky, Ronnie Babe, all of 'em. They won't fight me in Wisconsin. They're ducking me in Nebraska. But I'm going to corner 'em in Oregon. Ore-gon. I'll take 'em on two at a time. A left to the brisket, Rocky. A right to the choppers, Ronnie Babe. A right, a left. . . PAT: Look out for that lamp, Kid! Oh, my, that's five you've smashed this week. THE KID: It's lucky I wasn't using my Secret Punch. My Secret Punch would've torn the roof off. That's why they're all afraid of me, Baby. It's my Secret Punch. PAT: Oh, Kid, do you really have a Secret Punch? THE KID (indignantly) : Did you ever hear of a challenger who |
