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Show !" - .'M . CROSS-EXAMINATION FUN. . ; , .- ; v' -j.v- The contest between- counsel and witness must necessarily be an unequal un-equal one, and.it ia litle surprise that the sympathies ot the public are more often with the latter than the former, or that whenever a witness score a . point over a bullying cross-examiner .It is hailed with delight. "Have you ever been bankrupt?" a pompous counsel once aked, in the writer's hearing of a provincial tradesman. trades-man. . "No, never," came the decisive an-1 swer. 1 "Now, be careful, sir, how you answer an-swer this question. Hr you ever stopped payment?" "Yea." ' "Ah!" said the barrister, with satisfaction, satis-faction, "I thought we should get at it. Now, sir, tell his lordship when that happened." ' "After I had paid all I owed." the witness answered amid a roar of laughter, laugh-ter, in which the Judge himself felt compelled to join. On another occasion. ; says London I Tit-Bits, a conceited counsel had been cross-examining a young -woman . at ' considerable length upon, the age of a . person with whom she professed to be weU acquainted.- Finally he asked her: "How old, now, do you take me to be?" The witness scrutinized the persecutor closely for a moment or two, and then answered: "From your appearance 1 should take you to be 60; from your Questions 18." "Will you describe the man you sa you saw near the scene of the criror asked a diminutive banister of a wl- " i ness In a recent murder trial, r Was h a big man?" "Oh. no; nowt o't kind."- answered the witness, a burly Torkshlreman. H . war Just a Uttle. insignificant bit of s chap, summat like yerself ." This story reminds one of an, equally crushing answer given to another counsel, coun-sel, whose physical dimensions were incommensurate in-commensurate with his sense of Importance. Im-portance. "Did you see this tree, that was men. tioned, by the roadside V the banistei inquired. "Yes. sir; I saw It plainly." ' 'It was conspicuous, then?" X "No; I shouldn't say It was Txactlj V conspicuous," the witness answered. ' ) "You are trifling, sir." counsel con- .) tinued. "If, as you say. you saw the tree plainly, 'how can you say it wai not conspicuous?" "Well, it was Just like- this." the un- . abashed witness replied; "I can see you plainly among the rest of the lawyers, though you's not a bit conspicuous." "You really mean to say," once asked a well-known lawyer, now a Judge, "that as the result of this accident your son will never be able to follow youi business? If he's not fit to be a butcher, butch-er, what do you propose to make ol him?" "WeU." was the answer which con- -vulsed the court, "if he's no good foi owt else I'll make a lawyer of him." "You say this Mrs. Robinson was s friend' of yours?" a learned Queen' i counsel once asked a witness. "Yes." , - "Is she here?" t. "No." . "Do you know where she Is?" i "No." -"Now. sir." counsel retorted in a fury. ; "I warn you to be careful and to re- ' member, that you are under your oath. . You say that, although this woman li a neighbor and a friend of yours, you do not know where she Is to be found. Tell the court at once, sir, where she is." "That's more than anybody knows, sir," came the startling answer. "She's dead." But perhaps the smartest retort ever administered to a bullying lawyer wai the following: A counsel, after vainlj trying to break down the evidence of a witness in a murder trial, so far forgot for-got himself In his exasperation as to say "I do not believe a word you say. I can see scoundreUsm reflected in yout L face." Z7 "Sorry for that," came the crushing J . answer. "I didn't think ray face was such a good mirror." |