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Show (0tiANE8QUE COMEDY PLEASES; "BALDPATE" SHOW 18 BIG HIT Salt Lake Theater Audience Delighted With the Play' and Its Interpreters. j(rpHH loneliest place in the world is i- a summer resort hotel in winter." That line occurs tomewhera in "Seven Keys to" Baldnate." Normally It is true. Only on the stage can a summer resort hotel in the dead of winter become the liveliest, funniest, most fascinating, most romantic place imaginable. Such is the divine gift of imagination that we can people arctic or desert wastes with inhabitants in-habitants more tensely interesting than any possible aggregation of human beings be-ings in real life. The inn at Baldpate was as funny as a cake of ice when the curtain rose on "Seven Keys to Baldpate" Bald-pate" at the Salt Lake theater last night, but from the moment the old Yankee caretaker lit the log fire in the great fireplace fire-place the inn teemed with adventure and merriment. The play has been described as a 'niystery farce, in two acts, with prologue pro-logue and epilogue." That is very much like trying to explain why is a Joke a joke. No title could do the play justice and no title could do It very much Injustice. In-justice. The play is just its odd, gripping, grip-ping, laughable self. And just as no title can hint of its brilliancy, so no synopsis can unfold one-tenth of the droll and alluring things that are crowded into the aforesaid "two acts with prologue and epilogue." There are some excellent reasons for not giving a synopsis of the plot. First of all a Philadelphia lawyer would go crazy before he. could unravel half its intricacies. Then after one had attempted at-tempted and failed to give a synopsis one would be snubbed by everybody who .read the synopsis and afterward saw the play. You would not thank anybody for explaining a joke and then trying to tell the Joke. No more would you thank a critic for trying to explain the joke in a "Seven Keys to Baldpate." Richard Harding Davis once wrote a book about a member of parliament who was lured to a club by half a dozen men who wished to prevent him from casting the deciding vote in favor of an impor-lant impor-lant bill in the house of commons which they opposed. They spun a fascinating tale of adventure, each one taking up the thread of the story where the other left off, until they unfolded before the enthralled en-thralled solon a complete romance. Early In the morning, when it was too late for him to vote, they confessed why they had been spinning the yarn. Then he confessed that he had voted for the bill Just before thev succeeded in attracting him to the club. That was a joke. The Seven Keys to Baldpate" contains such a Joke, onlv it is different and just as clever. Therefore, the present writer will . mil noll a eood ioke by trying to ex plain it. See the play and enjoy two hours and a half of the most comfortable wild melodrama and good fun that has come vour wav in many a moon. The play is founded on a story of the fame name bv Earl Den- Biggers and has been dramatized by our most up-to-date fabricator of farcical situations, George M. Cohan. The company is a delight during every moment of the play. Every one of tne players, man or woman, is an accomplished accom-plished artist, but special praise Is due Cvril Scott for his splendid interpretation interpreta-tion of William Hallowell Magee. the novelist, who Is the heart of the joke. Miss Ideal Gives Women Who Attend Orpheum Matinee Lecture on , Physical Culture. IMMEDIATELY after the Orpheum performance per-formance yesterday afternoon the theater was turned over to Miss Ideal and the women and girls in attendance at the show. Miss Ideal is the woman who Is said to possess a perfect" figure and -who is the world's champion swimmer swim-mer and acrobatic diver, doing an act on this week's Orpheum bill. Miss Ideal lectured all present on how to attain and keep perfect health, which will ultimately result In a perfect figure and perfect feminine loveliness. Miss Ideal invited her listeners to come upon the stage, where she drilled them in physical culture, showing them many exercises ex-ercises which it Is claimed are much to their advantage to know. Empress- Headliner on First Western Tour, Is Well Known Player in London and New York. WHEN the Empress inaugurates its new bill this afternoon for Friday. Saturday and Sunday, the house will offer its' patrons one of the most popular and handsome matinee idols the New I SALT LAKE "7 Keys to Baldpat"." Friday and Saturday. Matinee j Saturday. ' ORPHEUM Vaudeville. Performances ' every afternoon and evening. PA NT AGES Vaudeville. Perform- ; ances every afternoon and two per- i formances at night. ' LOEWS EMPRESS Vaudeville. Frl- ; day. Saturday and Sunday. .Per- . formances afternoon and evening. j MOTION PICTURES. MEHESY Vivian Rich in "Refining Fires." "A Lucky Blowout." "Married "Mar-ried by Installment." Concert or- chestra. AMERICAN Feature, "The Little Angel From Canyon Creek." Concert orchestra. Professor J. .1. McClellan, conductor. York public has lionized In many years. E. E. Clive is perhaps better known in London and New York as a light comedian come-dian in support of such stars as Billie Burke, Julia Sanderson and others, than in anv other capacity. He is making his first western tour in vaudeville at the head of one of Mr. Loew's famous road shows and he tops the bill that opens at the Empress today. "One Good Turn" Is the title of the sketch Mr. Clive presents, and with him will be seen as a member of his company com-pany Nellie Ellis, formerly of Salt Lake and Ogden. She has many relatives and friends In both cities and this is her first return here in vears. With Mr. Clive on the new bill at the Empress this afternoon will be seen Edwin Ed-win Ford's dancing girls, with Mr. Ford himself; Charles Delmore and pen Light, "Ragtime Aristocrats;" Claude and Marian Mar-ian Cleveland in fun and song; Roubel Sims, eccentric cartoonist; Landry Brothers, Broth-ers, aerial acrobats, and a new comedy film. Miss Ideal, Swimming Beauty of Orpheum Or-pheum Show, Is One of Perfect Women. VAUDEVILLE has had a number of clever swimmers and divers, but Ideal, this week at the Orpheum, Is not only tire champion, but her act is both entertaining and instructive. She has originated many strokes that are practical as well as graceful, and incidentally, is. according to Professor John Aldrich of Columbia university, "the most perfectly formed woman in the world." The measurements of Ideal and Venus, respectively, are: ' Ideal. Venus. Height 5. 0.4 Head 21.5 21.3 Neck 13.6 12.5 Chest 33.0 33.0 Waist 26.0 26.0 Hips 38.0 3S.0 Thigh 23.11 22.5 Calf 13.5 12.2 Ankle . . 7,9 7.4 Upper arm 12. i 12.6 Forearm 9.4 9.G Wrist 5.0 .5.9 By a strange coincidence, this swimming swim-ming beauty Is appropriately named. She is a Brookline, Mass., girl and her real name is Irene Deal I. Deal In name as well as In form. She is an enthusiast about swimming as a health giver and everywhere she has been in her vaudeville vaude-ville tour she has done everything she could to promote an interest in swimming. The following theater notices arc marked "advertisement" to comply with a strict interpretation in-terpretation or the federal newspaper law. In no sense are they paid advertisements, being items furnished by th press agents of the various theaters. ORPHEUM Dancing is always pleasing, pleas-ing, but there is a dancing act at the Orpheum that is a little more unusual than any that has yet come over the circuit. The Spinette Quartette dance right side up and wrong side up. Balancing Bal-ancing on their heads, they perform the most intricate steps upon tables placed above their feet, and, as a climax, set the pedestals upon which their heads are resting and the tables In motion, and dance as they are rapidly revolved. SALT LA ICE Miss Rose Stahl will be seen for the first time here in her new plav, "A Perfect Lady," at the Salt Lake theater next Monday night. "A Perfect Lady" is a comedy in four acts bv Chau-nin- Pollock and Rennold Wolf, and Is said to have a fund of laugh-provoking situations and lines. The story deals with the Invasion of a small town by a trio of theatrical people and' their introduction intro-duction of the tango craze to the natives. , , , LOEW'S EMPRESS There's plenty of fun and music to say nothing of beauty and feminine daintiness promised at Loew's Empress the next three days when Mr. Loew's road show inaugurates its performances this afternoon. The box office opens at 10 o'clock this morning and the first show Is given at 2:30 today. E. E. Clive. the famous English actor, heads the new bill for Friday, Saturday and Stindav In his original sketch, entitled enti-tled "One pood Turn.' PANTAGES Walter Howe and company com-pany and Larry Comer have already taken their places as favorites of the clever vaudeville bill at the Pantages theater this week. Howe and four assisting as-sisting players appear in Porter Emerson Browne's farce, "In and Out." which Is j a riot of fun. Larry Comer Is a baritone bari-tone singer of line voice and pleasing personality. per-sonality. The Bon Amor Arabs, in whirlwind whirl-wind acrobatics, are an added feature of wind acrobatics, are an added feature. AMERICAN Vita graph presents Miss Gertrude Short In the Broadway Star feature. fea-ture. "The Little Ansel of Canyon Creek," giving to this new-found photoplayer an opportunity to establish herself indelibly in the favor of pa trons of the motion-picture motion-picture theater. Critics have been in ac- cord in acclaiming Miss Short an actress I I of extraordinary charm and dramatic ability. The drama is in five acts. I I MEHESY In the eloquent sociological drama, "Refining Fires." portraying in splenrlld fashion the story of a woman's supreme love and sacrifice, an all-star cast of Fly ins A players register splendid splen-did I v. Yivia n Rich. Jack Richardson, Harry Von Meter and Charlotte Burton iare in the leading roles. The Ince-1 Ince-1 Broncho two-reel drama, "A Lucky Blowout. Blow-out. ' Is a new version of "back 'to the j farm." |