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Show H Tho wolf at tho door the food Hj trnsK HI Lamb.istinc the sugar trust is a sweet HI revenue. H Cheer up! Fifty-three pay days in next year. H Notice, too, that turkeys arc' cheaper HI 3inco Thanksgiving. HI Yes. father; produce the Christmas Hj shopping money eiirly. HI Elder Nephi L. Morris is out of liar- H mony with the sugar quorum. Secretary of the navy Moycr is go- H ing to do a little revolutionizing him- H Ifc seems that the President, has rcal- H ly stayed in "Washington long enough H to renew acquaintance with his family. H Now that football and its fatalities Hj havo been dropped for a season, we H "nay revert to the safe and sane fourth. H "Gaynor for President!" they arc H ihonting in New York, Do they want H :o sidetrack him frpm lliat mayoralty H It is said that Caruso's voice is fail- H ing. How keenly Apostle Heber 0. Grant H is able to sense the'signifieaiice of the H iteml f . . H However, Waller "Wcllmrin is not so H Hull as to fail to sec that neither Cook H nor Ecnry reached the pole over tho gab H: -oute. H A New York woman having boon H charged with psychic perjury and. men-' H ! (al malpractice, it is time to quit think- H :ng aloud. , H Perhaps President Zeiaya. of Nicar- H agua appealed fo Mexico merely as a H variation from talking to a wooden In- H iian cigar sign. H But if they attempt to fix the Slnin- H heib crime upon mauy persons, tho pub- H lie ,will lose all fuith in ihe jury's H: verdict nf not guilty in tho iMndamc's H l "The time has como when you can't Hit fool anybody' saj-s Senator Bevor- Hi idg'e. So it appears that (lie Smoot H investigation has taught one gentleman H one lcssom H ' Ifour hnndrod babies in a bunch at H the Pood Show! Twelve happy winners H from four hundred contestants will H , leave three lmnditd aud eighty-eight H mad mothers. H Noveriholess the Goulds and tlto Van- H ' dcrbilts should make a success of the H noroplane btiHin't'ss, as thoy are no moan H hands at. high lying- H New York politicinus'are having a Hi great deal to say concerning Mr. IJooso- Hi vcit'a future; but before they get it H , . definitely fixed perhaps it will.be as H well for them to consult tho Colonel. H ; Coiiht P. A. do Veries says that ho H; has succeeded in, "interesting" Mr. H ; Rockefeller in his project to drain the H Zuyder Zee. Well, if thero is any in- H i tercst in the thing at all, doubtless H ' John D. will not object to gathering in H a portion of it. H ; . A Scotchman has invented an ap- H paratuH which will throw a lifc-anving H lino half a mile. Uncle Sam has an in- H stitutifaa which, for two cents, will car- H ry a life-saving lino several thousand miles,' provided, ono is able fo get tho man with tho cash to write tho line. |