OCR Text |
Show I Good morning. Have you your eye. "brows? Ulah Democratic, slogan "What's tho use 2 Page advice don't put too much in tho stuffing. Apparently the wires are down from Oj'sler Bay. iSly, but patriotism is an awfully noisy feeling! How to get rid of a bore ? Why, just loan him about five. Why is a shoemaker? Probablj- because be-cause he is awl WTight. Prayers an-' preachin' don't butter no parsnips, 'ceptin' the prophet's. In this country we have the bipr stick, but, in Sweden they have the "damm-klubb. "damm-klubb. ' ' ''Excelsior" is the motto of New York, as well as the head filling of her dudes. HJ iVever take a bicycle upstairs, or 3-ou will certainly havo wheels in the upper story. Onions are a healthful vegetable; cx-cept cx-cept that persistent use is sometimes an alienator of affection. Along with other absurd designs in Mormon edifices may bo included the plots hatched out in the Temple. Although he has not delivered that ami-polygamy speech, Apostle- Smoot is a Senator stilj exceedingly still. LMr. "Rockefeller, in order to be still more humorous, could say that he has boon trying faithfully to overtake that Kiibpoena. Of course father sent up a lot. of skyrockets last night- just to please tlio boys precisely as lie talvcs them to the circus. Coal iniuers -and operators arc going Hj to confer but not a favor, upon the public in arranging a reduction iu the price of coal. Mark Twain is opposing the clawham-mcr clawham-mcr coat; but lie has not been heard to saj' anything derogatory .of the low-and-bchold dross. Havana cigars, it is said, will soon advance in price. Who gives a hang, so loUg as the oilicc continues to furnish a decent quality of rope? mSJ Another crank has prophesied that the world wiil come to an end in next August. With the ice man in full bloom? No such good luck. Insurance companies arc said to be withdrawing from Texas because of the 1 great mortality resulting from the rav-ages rav-ages of the man-eating jack rabbits. Among the members of Salt Laku'8 new female band, probably most, attcn-tion attcn-tion from .young men will be received by the snare drummer, because she has An Eastern minister says that some things ought to be omitted from fu-1 fu-1 neral ceremonies. Perhaps the ideal fl point at whicli to begin the cutting would be on his sermons. The Houston (Texas) Post sa3-s that so glorious arc their surroundiugs that 1 even tho Euglish sparrows, down there H make music. i3ut not to compare with. that of our silver-throated Eocky Mountain canary. . |