Show I TRUSTY JIM Reprinted by Permission from from the Saturday Evening Philadelphia a k 94 M fF C y KA r k t J q 1 A t x bk A v 1 t z y n s sv v 1 3 i s C I k I f JAMES SCHOOLCRAFT SHERMAN Republican nominee for the vice presidency A When Charles Charlea Henry Gossa Gossamer mer nay not so there are some things too solemn for a n Jest jest when Charles harlea Henry Hanry Grosvenor evaporated from congress owing to a heinous dis disregard disregard regard on the part of or a certain sec see section section tion tien of or the Ohio proletariat to his claims daims to a permanent place on oJ the tile pay payroll payroll payroll roll ho left len several aching voids quite a neat little collection of or them in indeed Indeed Indeed deed for tor the long had been ono of or the set pieces of or the house and to rip him out was like extirpating a Rough Rider from a government job or orsome orsome some seme other unconstitutional and revo revolutionary revolutionary revolutionary proceeding However they tanned canned the and the aching voids were the Inevitable Ine table result r Some of or these thele never can be filled The aches must remain always dull and throbbing not to be assuaged Still the business of the republic must mu t be done The congress must be faith faithful faithful ful ml to its trusts no not in the eco economic sense of course how dare you and It was necessary nece to cast about to find plugs for tor one or two or of the prin principal principal cipal voids the left behind Plugs may not be just the word for tor forone torone forone one t with ith a regard for the niceties of or the language would not refer to members of at congress as plugs Be that as all it may the left a hole or two a Q cavity or so and the deepest was In the committee on rules The committee on rules is a mild and beneficent machine an almost benign institution for tor making Hamburg steak of ot the minority It eau ear take the mi ml minority minority at any time of or the day or night run It through the tho hopper and bring it out in nicely hashed little pats trimmed with parsley and with John Sharp Williams and David Albaugh De Da DeArmond Armond Annond en Simple as this I operation may seem It requires steady hands and courageous hearts to say y nothing of ot consciences for tor forthe forthe the screams of or agony that arise from time to time might unnerve a commit committeeman teeman of or softened sympathies s and mayhap induce him to give the minor minority minorIty minority ity an oven even break which is menta Impractical and unnecessary The hand of ot Grosvenor never nover faltered nor did his heart ever melt The minority might protest until It was black in the th face and be stood there sternly feeding them In It was a no noble noble ble blo trio Uncle Joseph Cannon John Dalzell and the the Republican can nn members of ot the committee perpetrating perpetrating such outrages as they saw fit while Williams and De Armond were merely excess baggage in the place I they being the two Democratic mem members members bers bets of ot the committee and so IiO used to being gagged they opened their mouths automatically as soon as they the entered the room for the tender ministrations TV with ith broomsticks and cords by their three throe loving but determined colleagues When this congress assembled Uncle Joseph Cannon ann on needed a handy hand man to Join with Dalzell and himself In the I happy pastime of the Dem cu rats He cast cost his eye ce over the serried ranks of true patriots who had just voted for tor him for tor speaker and it lingered lin lingered on the sturdy form of James Schoolcraft Sherman of Utica N Y Jim said the speaker came cume ci me hith hither I er or using his flossiest language Jim he ho continued what is the basic principle of ot the constitution of ot the United States The Tho minority has no rights What hat Is the instrument selected by bythe bythE bythe the Fathers to enforce that principle The committee on rules Is the committee on rules always alwa S right noble and patriotic and correct Always Why Because It has the tho votes There were wore tears in the speakers olce olee but none In his eyes oyos when he reached out his hand and said Jim you are worthy wort y of ot my Tny regard Your Tour knowledge of the theory of at gov government government government is profound You are a cred credit it to my upbringing Come with me James you are now no Joined with John Dalzell and myself In the high and holy cause of ot kicking the tar out of those misguided persons who constitute the minority kicking the tar out of or them James from morn till dewy eve Thus did James Schoolcraft S Sherman after atter eighteen years or so of ot standing firmly on the spot arrive at the high highest highest est Clit distinction that comas comos to a mum mom ber of tho the house hou bar one Ho He got on the committee of ot rules rulef He is there now solid soUd and stolid not doing any an of or the fan fancy y not riot to the embroidery embroider but ln au t ting ding eight weight and eness It takes the tho astute I mind of John Dalzell combined with I the intelligence of or Uncle Jo Joseph Joseph Joseph seph to think up the new schemes Sherman is fresh on the Job yet It Itis ItIs Itis is extremely unlikely he would ever suggest a rule that made It necessary for the Democrats to write two weeks in advance to the speaker before any anyone anyone anyone one could move the previous question nor would he contrive a paragraph that called on the Democratic leader of the house to take a civil service examina examination tion in mathematics before he could call for a division The Steady Hand at the Wheel But and here h re is the point when Dalzell and Cannon have thought up rules of ot this kind James Schoolcraft Sherman is the boy who can stand up in the house and orate solemnly as to the surpassing virtues of or these can compare the great minds who conceived them to the best we have In the way of or parliamentarians either in jn or out of or our books and can demand in clarion tones their imme immediate Immediate immediate diate adoption James Sherman is s not an originator He is no impulsive person to grab a gonfalon and hurl himself against a the foe He does not stand forth and yell ell Rally Rall boys bo s rally Follow me to the death Not James He is a navigator not an executive officer Let somebody lay layout out the voy voyage VO voyage age and give the chart to James Tames and he will nut do the steering or blow up the ship All he needs is orders and the stiffer and stronger the orders are the better he likes them Write out on a abit abit abit bit of ot paper what Is to do doand doand doand and hand the paper to James Then go away awa and forget it for James will do what is necessary as indicated in the bond no more and no less Perhaps your Uncle Joseph G Cannon did not fully full sense this trait in the new member mem member ber bel of or the committee rules perhaps not and a few tew more that he did Uncle Joseph rarely casts any bread on the waters He keeps his in ina Ina ina a tin can with a padlock and there never are any crusts Sherman got the congress habit away awa back in the Fiftieth congress and he has been a member of or every eer one since except the when many man patriots of ot the Republican party fell outside the breastworks When you get a glimpse of or him on the floor you ou think one of Punchs pictures of or John Bull has been vitalized and set down among the angular westerners thi th easterners and the southerners He is short and he has that rich round ruddy face tace that goes with the J T Bull ensemble Moreover he dresses the part fairly well with long English walking coats and square topped hats but he gets off ort there for his manner of speech Is Uti can albeit there are arc few reasons that can be dis discovered discovered covered for the funny little whiskers he wears Sherman has been chairman of or the Indian affairs committee for some years He has had a lot to do with shaping shuping legislation and has always been in great favor with Speaker Can Cannon Cannon Cannon non He is a good debater and an adroit parliamentarian an excellent lawyer and Is partisan enough to suit the most fastidious They grab him himoff himoff off oft from year to year to be perma permanent permanent permanent nent chairman of ot the New York state Republican conventions be because because because cause he ho has that high political fa faculty faculty culty cult of or doing what he is told to do dono dono dono no matter how the opposition may rage |