Show kathleen ahleen norris says the peculiar unpopular girl bell syndicate mature ra ture L 61 1 0 goo 0 P 0 10 I 1 guests appear she rushes upstairs ia anyone meets us on the street diana looks into space by KATHLEEN NORRIS ADMITTING that I 1 made aing a mistake in the rais ia ing of my daughter diana now 19 what can I 1 do to retrieve lost ground now writes ann wood from an illinois c city ity my husband and I 1 were peculiarly devoted perhaps we neglected her she spent much of her time with my mother who was for years an invalid P the letter goes on now both husband and mother are dead and I 1 turn to diana to find her as undeveloped in many ways as a child of 14 she is shy awkward self conscious she is pretty or could be but an utter lack of style and a complete lack of interest in her own appearance handicap her terribly if guests appear she rushes upstairs if anyone meets us in the street diana looks into space answers in husky monosyllables bursts into nervous laughter she will do nothing without me begs off answering the telephone wont even go on an errand to grocery or drug store without her incessant you come too mother I 1 hate to talk to people perhaps I 1 should contess confess to you continues the letter that the Q wonderful husband whose loss I 1 am now nov mourning was not dianas father I 1 was married foolishly at 19 was divorced three years later when diana was two years old she does d oes not remember her own father but has somewhat idealized him evidently for recently I 1 found hidden among her treasures a snapshot snap shot ot of him holding her as a baby he also married again has several children and as he lives in a distant city his promise to see diana frequently has long been forgotten wants normal life for girl 1 I love my daughter I 1 want her to go on into normal and happy womanhood but my heart sinks when I 1 consider the lie changes that must take t a k e place it if she is not to be a twisted freak for the rest of her life diana may I 1 add Is only too good she Is nervously conscientious about anything I 1 ask her to do fusses busses anxiously over flower arrangements or the transmission of messages asks permission even to walk to the corner postbox post box to mall mail a letter she reads much likes puzzles enters radio competitions studies two languages her health Is perfect she wears glasses for sightedness farsightedness far sightless she has no friends of late in bursts of hysteria she has threatened to leave home but I 1 do not consider her serious tor for she Is as I 1 bay say completely dependent upon me will you make any suggestions suggestion ir that might help us both my suggestion my dear ann would be that you foster this idea of running away to the extent of actually sending diana away tor for awhile in these days she can easily get work hard work and with hard work and life iffe in a boardinghouse boarding house which you must arrange tor for her inevitably evit ably come friendships associations distract distractions lons and expansions of many sorts put her on her own reassure her as to her appearance and her potential charm tell her that you iou are acting upon her as a check as a cramp as indeed you are and launch her into the world send her straight to some industrial center detroit or san francisco where labor is at a premium and tell her you expect her to keep a journal and utilize her experiences in fiction action form some day missed happy home lite life this girl has been badly handled since birth she was too small at the time of your divorce to realize anything except that she was losing the tha daddy she loved and bretting in thoughtless PARENTS MAY CAUSE NEUROTICS when parents divorce and remarry they should constantly remain aware of their responsibilities toward any children by the first marriage at best these changes are not good for growing youngsters but whenever t vh enever this has occurred the child or children must come first in all family plans failure to realize this ha has s resulted in complex behavior problems which sometimes mar m ar what might have been a beautiful successful life A mother writes kathleen norris about a daughter of 19 who is as undeveloped in many ways as a child of 14 the mother is afraid her daughter r will be a twisted f freak eak for the rest of her life his place a strange man who took no particular interest in her her chief companion was an elderly invalid the probability is that she had none of the happy home life to which a child has a right small friends coming in and out parties and picnics in those years you making her your first consideration there was nobody to stop her from g growing row as shy and twisted and unhappy as you describe her now now your service to her must be to see that she is equipped with the right clothes with money for immediate expenses and with your encouragement coura gement and faith the moment she is independent given a c hance chance to develop in her own way s she lie will lose her shyness and sell consciousness and blossom out in a dozen directions it is because she feels so keenly your disappointment in her your bewilderment or misgiving about her and the primary fact of her life that you did not turn to her until you needed her nor think in all the years of her childhood and first youth how bow desperately she needed you this is the reason that she shows you her very side her quivering nervous blundering stupid side you conclude your letter by saying now when we two are alone in the world I 1 must depend upon hex her for companionship for all the happiness that is left but exi ex a acely c aly what you do unless your protestations to her are only a part of the selfishness you have always alway shown toward her and you honestly her good at heart a after all |