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Show Heavy Loser Then there's the one about the perennial Scot who had a heart attack. He was tossing pennies to children in the street and the string broke. A Poop Show Worried Tenant: "It's disgraceful. disgrace-ful. I'm sure two rats were fighting fight-ing In ray room last night." Landlord: "So what do you expect ex-pect to get for $3.00 a week ? Bull fights ?" Too Wise for That Kind Lady: "What? Are you back again ? Aren't you the same man I gave a piece of pie last week? I didn't expect to see you again." Beggar: "I didn't eat the pie." How About Being Right? He: "Do you want to be the President's wife?" She: "I'd rather be President." A New Twist "I wonder why it is that fat men are so good-natured?" "Probably because it takes them so long to get mad clear through." INTRODUCTIONS v First Patient (waiting In doo-tor't doo-tor't office): "How do you do? Tm aching from neuritis." Second Patient: "Glad to meet you. I'm Lewis from Lemoore." Befuddled, As Usual Drunk walking round and round a telephone pole: "I'll find tha gate to this place if it takes all night." Too Late Now She: "You told me before we were married that you were well off." He: "And I never spoke truer words." On General Principles "Father: "Now, son, tell me why I punished you?" Son: "There you are! First you whale the life outa me and now you don't know why you did it!" Not Over-Priced He: "I see hy the paper that on one of those South Pacific islands a good wife can be bought for what amounts to three dollars." She: "Why, that's terrible!" He: "I don't know. A good wife might be worth it" Sugar-Cured 1 think I'll go to Virginia for my health," said the ailing actor. |