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Show fhl.Phillipr THE CUSTOMER-WORM TURNS The characters tire a clerk and Mr. and Mrs. Elmer Twilchell. The scene is almost any store. Time Six months after the tear. Clerk (as Mr. and Mrs. Twitchell appear at his counter) Well? Elmer Well, what? Clerk Do you wish something? Mrs. Twitchell Don't tell him! Elmer Not a chance, honey; we'll make him wait Clerk (smiling) What can I do for you? Mrs. Twitchell He's actually smiling! Him, of all peoplel Elmer (handing her a paper) Here's something for you to read, honey. Til tackle a magazine. (They sit down on camp stools which they have carried to the store, and ignore ig-nore the clerk.) Clerk if there's something I can show you. . . . Mrs. Twitchell Can't you see we're busy? Elmer Take it easy. We'll get around to you in time. Clerk After all this is a store catering to the public, and I'm the clerk here. Mrs. Twitchell Oh yeah! Elmer Do you know who we are? Clerk You're customers, aren't you? Mrs. Twitchell Don't tell him, Elmer! Elmer (as the clerk seems impatient) impa-tient) One of them guys who's always al-ways in a sweat, eh! (The Twitchells yaum and continue reading, ignoring the clerk quite completely com-pletely for 10 to 15 minutes.) . Clerk (pleadingly) I wish you'd let me wait on you. Mrs. Twitchell Don't try to rush us! Elmer You want us to let you wait on us ahead of other clerks in this store, eh? You're somebody important, im-portant, I suppose. Clerk (who has, with the coming of peace, reconverted to the prewar pre-war manner) If you don't see what you want ask for it! We aim to please! A satisfied customer is a solid foundation for business success. suc-cess. . . . Mrs. Twitchell Quick, Elmer, the aspirin! Clerk. The secret of this store's popularity is customer-service. My time is your time! May I assist you promptly? Mrs. Twitchell Tryin' to intimidate intimi-date me, eh? Elmer Ignore the big bum, dear. Clerk. Aw, come on; lemme wait on you! Mrs. Twitchell Nothing doing. If you don't like it go to some other store! Clerk But it's my duty to wait on customers and . . . Elmer You ain't the only clerk in this place. Wait for your turn like the rest of 'cm. Mrs. Twitchell When we're ready to be waited on in a polite manner we'll let you know. Clerk Doncha know there's a peace on? The Twitchells (swooning) That does it! NOT YET, BUT SOON "llow many gallons? Fill 'er up!" . . . How sweet those words once more! The long dead words of yesterday yester-day That disappeared with war; "How Is ya windshield? How's the oil?" . . . "Just name the type and brand" . . . What joy and rapture this now brings Throughout the weary land! What kind of meat? A tenderloin?" tender-loin?" "A porterhouse? Why not!" "I wish you'd take these nice loin chops" ... "These hams will hit the spot!" Ob, what a thrill when talk like that Is looming Just ahead And not a butcher says, "You'll have To take stew meat Instead!" To find a guy who'll do a Job For ten bucks at the most And not want forty dollars Just To paint a hitching-post! To live as once we used to live Quite kindly man to man With patience and with courtesy Within the post-world plan! He stood on a corner with two suitcases, a letter to the secretary of labor, a kit of tools, a copy of "How to Live Within an Income," a copy of the classified ad pages, a bathing suit and a worried look. "Whatcher doin'?" a friend asked, "I'm reconverting," he replied. After the peace, . Japan is going go-ing to have a wonderful time running run-ning around with cameras photographing pho-tographing American soldiers, sailors sail-ors end marines. |