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Show The zoo keeps bringing them back grassroots Copyright 1986 Becky Grass Johnson the fleas off her baby. I laughed out loud as they chased one another around the cage. I turned to point out their antics to the kids and discovered that they had abandoned me to find the snakes. I could just imagine the headlines of the next day's newspaper, "Six Children Eaten By Boa While Mother Watches Monkeys." I located most of my children in front of the cubicles that held the reptiles. Several "Do not tap on the glass" signs were posted on the wall. Just then I spied my three-year old. She wasn't "tapping" on the glass. She was giving it a double-fisted smack and yelling at a snake to get his attention. It was one of those moments that would have been cute on home movies, except that the python behind the glass was large enough to swallow a Volkswagen and she definitely had his attention! I whisked her out of the building and suggested that we find Bambi. "How can you look Bambi in the eye and not feed him?" my kids whined. I handed over my last quarter for a bag of deer food. It's hard to say who ate the most pellets, "Bambi" or the three-year old. We moved on to see the elephants. The elephants had been placet outside for the warm weather an: were behind' a rock fence. One ol to elephants spied us and an: lumbered on over. He reached towards my three-year old withe long trunk. The kids were e thralled . . . except the three-y old. As soon as she caught her bra-she bra-she let out a siren scream that be heard for miles. (I held both ff: hands high in the air so ft everyone could see I was not beaiu her.) ., One by one, every child ar,ou- began screeching. The trumpeted as he started to bacu Mothers were shushing." children. The elephant trump again. Zoo personnel appeared deodorant wasn't working. I careened through the crow ;; miles an hour with a wagon P; kids. We were on our way (The day wasn't a total to three-year old was ecstatic found a caterpillar under uk "wemay not have bought! snojj orHogle'Zoot-shirts,butth year old proudly wore home a . that read, "I gave an elepha coronary." by BECKI GRASS JOHNSON degree weather. After a child cons his parents out of a dollar, buys a ticket and rides the elephant, the trainer presents him with a large badge which proudly declares, "I rode an elephant." All of a sudden my brood began to clamor for a ride and a badge. I refused to make any promises until after we had at least said, "Hi" to the aardvark. One of the first animals we went to see were the monkeys. I enjoyed watching them swing from bar to bar. I smiled as the mama picked Every year I take my children to the zoo . . , but the zoo keeps bringing them back. My children feel that the summer isn't complete unless we take our annual trip to Hogle Zoo, so last week we paid our caged friends a visit. We packed a picnic lunch with all the trimmings (most of which was eaten before I backed the car out of the driveway.) We planned on feeding the ducks and geese, so we took a large sack of bread and cracker crumbs (most of which was eaten by the time we reached the point of the mountain. ) I lined up my children at the zoo entrance for a brief lecture on what we do and do not do at the zoo. We do stay together. We do take turns at the drinking fountains. We do not stampede one another to get to the monkey cage. We do not throw the car keys into the lion's den, feed jaw breakers to the ostriches, or refer to the giraffe as Aunt Martha. I put on my Marie Osmond smile. We were set. No one had notified the zoo we were coming. There were no " Newswatch Two cameras, no added security. It was business as usual. The hardest part of touring the zoo wasn't deciding which animal to see first. It was trying to convince six children that the "rent-a-stroller" was designed to hold only one child at a time. We rented a wagon. Before we could get a glimpse of the animals, we were forced to pass by a concession stand, balloon peddler, trinket shop, t-shirt rack and a booth to buy tickets for the miniature train. I'm charging Hogle Zoo with cruel and inhumane treatment to parents. To top it off, the elephant rides were given near the entrance. I pretended not to notice, hoping that the kids wouldn't see. Fat chance! If they hadn't seen the elephant, they certainly couldn't have missed the aroma. There is nothing like the fragrance of a pachyderm in 95 |