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Show Ten O'Clock Whistle J by David Fleisher Park Avenue War Zone I've heard several complaints lately about the construction on Park Avenue. Some of these complaints come from wary travelers who are experiencing automobile maintenance problems as a result of fighting their way through the Park Avenue war zone, or who elect to take the sometimes precarious detour along Empire Avenue. Complaints heard recently include: "I can't take this anymore; I just broke my muffler!" "Why does the city have to tear up Park Avenue now? Why not fix it during spring or early summer?" Considering the adverse affect the construction is having on cars, maybe we should devise an alternative means of transportation to be used at least while Park Avenue is undergoing her face-lift. And we just might like the alternative means of transportation so much that we could use it in the future, especially during the winter months. We should explore the idea of using helicopters. A feasible route could be set up to take residents wherever they want to go within the city limits. Travel time from, say, Main Street to Alpha Beta would be cut in half. There would be no flat tires, no broken mufflers and no dirty windshields. I would suggest building four main landing platforms: one at the turn-around at the top of Main Street, another one in Swede Alley, another one in the Alpha Beta parking lot, and another one at the Resort. These locations would afford convenience to travelers with minimal walking to final destinations. With the helicopter service, I think locals would take a more objective look at progress being made on Park Avenue. Without having to worry about car problems, the traveler could then observe the construction in a better light, especially in a helicopter. I can just imagine how pleasant it would be to fly over the war zone in an air-conditioned helicopter: "Driver, would you hang around this area for a minute. I w ant to see how the workers are doing today." , "Oil. look at that bulldozer!" another passenger would say. "They're really going to town today, aren't they?" "Keep it up! You're doing a great job! And hey, my car's parked in the garage, no problem." The helicopters should be equipped with similar services as offered in an airplane: smoking, non-smoking seats; first class and coach accomodations; mini-bottle selections; magazines; and little baggies in the event of sickness. It wouldn't be necessary to make reservations since the helicopters would criss-cross the city, day and night, making regular stops at the four designated landing platforms. But in case you're in a tremendous hurry, the service would have a loll-free number. 1 can certainly understand if you might be a little skeptical about this proposed transportation service. You might be wondering, "A helicopter service for Park City? That's ridiculous! We need to build a public swimming pool before we start installing these stupid landing platforms for helicopters." That's true, but a public swimming pool won't help you get over the Park Avenue war zone. If you have some serious reservations about helicopters, how about hot air balloons? They're okay, but not as safe as helicopters; plus, helicopters are much easier to maneuver in mountaineous terrain. As I walk up Main Street, I hear the Ten O'Clock Whistle. r J.IIH... II ..il. ... IIIHIl.ll.. in,, i.u. I I.. |