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Show JUST FOR FUN Nerve. "Let me sell you a galvanl7,ed hat-rack," hat-rack," began tho nervy peddler. "Got n dozen halracks now," growled growl-ed the grouchy suburbanite "How about a combination whisk-broom whisk-broom and tooth brush?" "One In the garret." "Iet me show you an ostrich Incubator?" Incu-bator?" , "Gel away from here or I'll mop the floor up with you." And then the agent opened his yellow yel-low satchel. "Why, my dear sir, such strenuous exercise on a warm day Is. highly Injurious In-jurious lA'l me sell yon one of the greatest floor mops In seven states ' But Just then the bulldog got loose. Chicago News. Destructive Theology. At a chapel In Yorkshire tho pulpit was occupied one Sabbath morning by a minister from a neighboring town. A few days later the preacher received re-ceived a copy of the local weekly paper, pa-per, nnd his attention was drawn to the following Jtem: "Rev. supplied sup-plied the pulpit, at the Congregational church last Sundaj', and tho church will now be closed three weeks for repairs." re-pairs." Loudon News. Too Much Company. "Havo you ever loved before?" asked ask-ed tho coy maid. "Yes," yawned the worldly young man, "but er never before a chaperon, chap-eron, two small brothers and a pot bulldog." And then she suggested a trip dowa the old road to see the stars. Chicago Chica-go News. . In the Old Kitchen. "Better mind how you and Lucy kiss through the screen door," laughed laugh-ed the old farmer. "First thing you know you'll be catching something. There are germs in kisses." "Yes, but yeou can't ketch nuthln' klspin' through a screen door," drawled drawl-ed the hired man. "Them thar kisses be strained." Chicago News. Rural Opposition. "I tee that some Texas Congressman Congress-man has Jest Introduced a bill to have the mails carried by airships." ' He's a dum fool, by Jack- I wun't ! stand for It. If Hank Wlntergreen thinks wo're goln' to fly our mall boxes on kite tails so's he c'n c'lect th' letters as he scoots along In hla rural d'llvery alryplane, he's allflred mistaken, by heck!" Cleveland Plain Dealer. Of Course He Couldn't. j Little Paul had been accustomed to sleeping with the light in his room. One night ho was put to bed and tho light blown out. In a few minutes min-utes sobs were heard coming from tho direction of Paul's bed. "What's the matter, son?" said his papa. "I can't see how to shut ray eyes," sobbed the little fellow Delineator. I The Salt of the Earth. ! Fuddy What kind of a singer Is Jones? Duddy Fine, but rather too realls- j tic. ... Fuddy How realistic? I Duddy Why, ho sang "Rocked In the Cradle of the Deep" last night with such feeling that more than half the aud.ence wero seasick and had to leave the hall Boston Transcript. Having Her Way. ! "So you are going In housekeeping, as soon as you're married? I thought you had made up your mind to board?" "Yes, but Geoige Is equally determined deter-mined to havo a houte of our own." "And so you are grlng to keep house In order to please George?" "No, I'm going to keep house so that George will he glad to board " Ideas. No Prospects. I "Do you believe in the election of United States Senators by tho people?" peo-ple?" "I do. There -is not tho slightest likelihood that I shall ever become a member of any state legislature," , Chicago Rccoiil-'. lerald. |