OCR Text |
Show JUST FOR FUN Left to Her Judgment. "Am I the first girl you ever kissed?" kiss-ed?" asked the fair youn? thing1 from the refuge, of his fchoulder. "Well," he replied, "after the way my arm Just naturally slipped around your waist as you unconsciously leaned toward me, and my fingers tilted your chin as you unconsciously lifted ycur head, and I beat forward where your lips were waiting, and didn't pet the kiss cither on your nose or your chin, but where It belonged af'er all that, and with the knowledge of the subject which you have displayed, dis-played, I shall say nothing except that I leave the question to your own Judgment." Life. Needed a Vacation. "Ma, what aro tho folks In our church getting up a subscription for?" "To send our minister on a vacation vaca-tion to Europe this summer." "Won't ihero be no church services while he's gone?" "No. dear." "Ma, I got $1.33 in my bank. Can I give that?" Cleveland Leader. The Funeral Baked Meats. The Customer HI. waiter! What do you mean on the menu by "Brown Soup," "Joneaed E?js" and "Harrised Mutton?" The Walter Well, sir, you 6ee. sir, we olteu vdve dishes names of our citizens who die after bein' reg'lar castorneri here. The Sketch. As Ever. "When Cholly Van Rox proposed to me he was too rattled t say a word." "Thej. how did you know he was proposing?" "Oh. my dear! His money did all the talking." Cleveland Leader. Defining the Issue. The Tourist Are you a native of theEf parts?" The Mau with the Barrow Phwat Is ut ye mane? Do ye mano wur I llvln here when I wuz born, or wuz I born beforo I begun llvln' here? Sketch. Hot Air. "Bragg is a dreadfully tiresome chap " "What's he been doing now?" "He's been blowing about what he bluw In at the blowout." Boston Transcript A Paradoxical Reply. "Doctor, do you think eyeglasses will aiter my appearance?" inquired Mrs. Gunson, anlously. "I shall at least expect them to improve im-prove ycur looks," replied the physician. physi-cian. LIppiucott's. The Reason. Wosgs How can these fellows afford af-ford to run these "All you can eat for a quarter" restaurants? Bogs Because the customer is ready to quit alter he haa had about 5 cents' worth. Judse. A Liferent Matter. Mother (looking over her hoy's shoulder) Your spelling is perfectly terrible. Little Son That isn't a 6pellin lesson. les-son. It's a composition. Street & Smith's News. Cross Purposes. Swift Do you mean to send any valentines this year? Smith No, Valentines always miss their object. A girl is almost sure to laugh at the sentimental ones and cry about the comics. Judge. Diplomacy. The wife of a man who came home late Insisted upon a reason. "When I ?o out without you," h. said. "I do not enjoy myself as much and it takes me twice as long." Success. Bad Outlook. To a geologist a thousand years or so arc not counted as any time at all." "Great Scot! And I Just mndo one a temporary loan of $10." Boston Transcript. |