OCR Text |
Show an SITI ABDICATES IN IFAVQR OF THE KAISER The following satire was written by i Louis Syberkrop oC Creston. Ia-, just to pleasehis friends, but since its pub-1 pub-1 lication he has been the recipient of commendatory letters from many men in public life, among whom are Tu-! Tu-! multy, Roosevelt, Secretary Daniels and others: The Infernal Region, June 28, 1D17. To Wilhelm von Hohenzollern, King of Prussia, Emperor of all Germany and Envoy of Almighty Gott, My Dear Wilhelm: I can call you by that familiar name for I have al-w' al-w' ways been close to you, much closer jjLli - than you could ever know. From the mjLj time you were yeKan undeveloped be-VIP be-VIP jng in your mother's womb I have 'W shaped your destiny for my own pur-n pur-n pose. In the days of Rome I created a rough-neck known in history as Nero: he was a vulgar character and i suited my purpose at that particular Igj j time. In these modern days a classic I demond and efficient super-criminal I ( was needed and as I know the Hohen-1 Hohen-1 j zollern blood I picked you as my spe-I spe-I clal instrument to place on earth an I annex to hell. I gave you abnormal 1 1 ambition, otherwise an over supply I of egotism that you might not discov-I discov-I er your own failings; I twisted your I mind to that of a toad man with cer- I . tain normal tendencies to carry you I ' by, a most dangerous character placed in power; I gave you the power of a hypnotist and a certain magnetic force 1 that you might sway your people. 1 I am responsible for the deformed arm 1 that hangs helpless on your left for your crippled conditions embitters S your life and destroys all noble im- I pulses that might otherwise cause me 1 anxiety, but your strong sword arm I is driven by your ambition that 1 squelch all pity and sentiment; I placed in your soul a deep hatred for )) all things English, for of all nations on earth I hate England most; wher-Ar wher-Ar ever England plants her flag she g j brings order out of chaos and the hat-jSg hat-jSg cd Cross follows the Union Jack; un- ;Jl I dor her rule wild tribes become tillers ' I of the soil and in due time practical citizens; sho is the great clvilizer of the globe and I hate her. I planted in your soul a cruel hatred for your mother because she was English and left my good friend Bismark to fan the flame I had kindled. Recent history his-tory proves how well her work was done. It broke your royal mother's heart but I gained my purpose. The inherited disease of the Hohcn-zollenVs Hohcn-zollenVs killed your father, just as it will kill you, and you became the ruler of Germany and a tool of mine sooner than I expected. To assist you and further hasten my work I sent you three evil spirits, Nietzsche, Treitschke and later Dern-hardi, Dern-hardi, whose teachings Inflamed the youths of Germany, who In good time would be willing and loyal subjects and eager to spill their blood and pull your chestnuts, yours and mine; the spell has been perfect you cast your ambitious eyes toward the Mediterranean, Mediterran-ean, Egypt, India and the Dardanelles and you began your great railway to Bagdad but the ambitious archduke and his more ambitious wife stood in your way. It was Uien that I sowed the seed in your heart that blossomed into assassination of ihe duke and his wife, and all hell smiled when it saw how cleverly you saddled the crime on to Servia. 1 saw you sot sail for the Fjords of Norway and I knew you would prove an alibi. How cleverly done, so much like your noble -grandfather who also secured an assassin to remove old King Frederick of Denmark Den-mark and later robbed that country of two provinces that gave Germany an opportunity to become a naval power. pow-er. Murder is dirty work but It takes a Hohenzollern to make a way and get by. Your opportunity was at hand;, you set the world on fire and bells of hell were ringing; your rape on Belgium Bel-gium caused much joy; It was the beginning; be-ginning; the foundation of a perfect hell on earth, the destruction of noblo cathedrals and other infinite works of art was hailed with joy in the infernal infer-nal regions. You made war on friends and foo alike and the murder of civilians civi-lians showed my teachings had borne fruit. Your treachery toward neutral nations hastened a universal upheaval, upheav-al, the thing I most desired. Your under sea warfare is a master stroke, from the smallest mackerel boat to the great Lusitanla you show no favorites; favo-rites; as a war lord you stand supreme su-preme for you have no mercy; you have no consideration for the baby clinging to its mother's breast as thy both go down into the deep together only to be torn apart and leisurely devoured de-voured by sharks down among" the corals. j I have strolled over the battlefields ol neigium anci France, l have seen your hand of destruction everywhere: it's nil your work, super-fiend that I made you; I have seen the fields of Poland; now a wilderness fit for I prowling beasts only; no merry chil-, chil-, dren in Poland now. they all suc-I suc-I cumbed to frost and starvation I drifted down into Galicia where formerly for-merly Jews and Gentiles lived happily together; I found but ruins and ashes; I felt a curious pride in my pupil for j it was all above ray expectation. I was in Belgium when you drove the I peaceful population before you like cattle into slavery; you separated man and wife and forced them to hard work in the trenches. I have seen the most fiendish rape committed on young . women and those who were forced mto maternity were cursing the father fath-er of their offspring and I began to doubt if my own inferno was really up to date. You have taken millions of dollars from innocent victims and called it indemnity; in-demnity; you have lived fat on the land and usurped and sent the real owners away to starvation. You have strayed away from all legalized war methods and introduced a code of your own. You have killed and robbed peiple of friendly nations and destroyed destroy-ed their property. You are a liar, a hypocrite and a bluffer of the highest magnitude. You are a pupil of mine and yet you pose as a personal friend of God Ah, Wilhelm, you are a wonder. You wantonly destroy all things in your path and leave nothing for coming com-ing generations. I was amazed when I saw you form a partnership with the impossible Turk, the chronic killer of Christians, and you a devout worshipper worship-per in the Lutheran church. 1 confess, con-fess, Wilhelm, you are a puzzle at limes. A Mohammedan army commanded com-manded by Prussian officers assisting assist-ing one another in massacreing Christians Chris-tians is a new line of warfare. When a Prussian officer can witness a nude woman who was disemboweled by a swarthy Turk, committing a double murder with one cut of his sabre, and calmly stand by and see a house full of innocent Armenians locked up, the house saturated with oil and fired, then my teachings did not stop with you but have been extended to the whole German nation. I confess my satanic soul grew sick and there and theri I knew the pupil had become the master. I -am a back number, and my dear Wilhelm, I abdicate in your favor. fav-or. The great key of hell will bo turned over to you. The gavel that has struck the doom of damned souls since- time began is yours, I am satisfied satis-fied with what I have done; that my abdication in your favor Is for the very best interest of hell in the future fu-ture I am at your Majesty's service. Affectionately and sincerely, LUCIFER H. SATAN. on |