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Show BY J. A. FITZGERALD. fOOTTTtaht. 2812. tJ" tho New York HenM Co. All rlrhtj rwtrred.) J , YERYBODY up! Here comes I t ' "Joe" Tinker, one o the old set- I 1 tiers of the Chicago National , fl mn League team, and he's got a lot t . . of loose talk he wants to hurl J around. Hold out your dish, be- ? - ause he carries one of the finest brands if ' of fan food you ever tasted. And don't I be afraid to nsk for a second helping, i l Thla is bis little party, and he doesn't I want any one to go away dissatisfied. From your position in, the grand stand ' or bleachers or on the wrong side of a Vv . knothole you've heard him bouncing ora tory off the umpires time and again, but now you have tho opportunity of hearing him wallop Webster's delivery at close range-, range-, There may be a few forcigucrs in the ! , audience who arc not awnre of the facl & l that Joseph is superintendent of that iwr- f : tion of the "Cubs' " real estate which lie ; jj , between second and third base. Lie hai. ' been on patrol 'duty there for years, and m as a result of his vigilance thousands of P ambitious young base hits have been cut W: down in the full bloom of youth. Many a K- Iicaltliy swat has left home fully detcr- Ej ' mined to make a name for itself, only to 3 -' rvVvvyvvv&vi.vvtvvvvi'vviv meet a violent death at his hands one second sec-ond later. His direction Is the grim route for base hits. Ail of which glTes rlso to the Impression that our young hero Is against base hits of all kinds, an impression which is entirely erroneous. It Is only base hits of foreign make, those manufactured by opposing players, that arouse his ire. He makes no secret of the fact that he dislikes them, and even has been known to go out of his way to discourage them. On the other hand, be Is particularly fond of those which bear the Tinker label, and spends a large share of his time In planting them In safe places. Any pitcher in the National League will corroborate this statement. They regard him as one of the most dangerous dan-gerous men at large. Pitcher Needs an Alibi. When n new pitcher has filled the baser and sees him walking toward the plate be begins framing an alibi ns to why he lcfl the big league Old pitchers don't cheer when be faces them under such conditions No less an authority than "Christy" Ma then son. master workman of the whole tribe of twirlcrs, has given it as his personal per-sonal opimou that Tinker at the hat with Baft tar ; tubal men on base Is Hs idm of no situation to make merry over. In addition to being an expert gardener and wood turner, Tinker has a topknot which he uses for something else besides a hatrack. "Come on, now, Joe ! Get In the game !" "Give mo 'one about shoulder high and IT1 lose It," came the confident reply. "How old are yon?" "Help r "Strike one! Come across with your age!" "That was a mile away from the plate," protested Tinker. "Strike ruh!" "I see you're determined to make me bat at it, but I hate that underhand delivery. de-livery. I'm in my early thirties." "How earlyr "Thirty-two." "What's the big objection to displaying the birth certificate?" "There's a lot of youngsters on the team and when they learn my age they'll expect me to take them on my lap and tell them stories. And the minute a ball player hits the thirty year thing his mail is filled with advertisements for rocking chairs, slippers, false teeth, foot warmers, warm-ers, shawls and the rest of the equipment used in the Osier league." Afraid of New York. "You don't look to be a day over twenty-five." "That's the kind of ball I like," said Tinker. "It cut the plate." "How long have yon been Licking up the cinders?" "Thi3 is my thirteenth season. I've been in Chicago eleven years." "It's your own fault. There's any number num-ber of trains to New York every "day." "1 might have made the trip if I had sonic sheet iron clothes." laughed Tinker. "I guess 1 leaued against that one, all right, all right." "Chicago hasn't got anything on Now York when it comes to the shooting game." was the, feeble protest. "Not an awful lot. but there's this difference." dif-ference." said Tinker. "Out there thev at least give a innn a chance to throw up his hands before making a Swiss cheese out of him. If Jesse James livcil "JOE" TINKER, THE PERFORMING "CUB," BAtHI OUT A FE FANDOM. In New York right now his mother would be afraid to let him out after six o'clock." 'That one took a nasty bound, Joe.1" "It'a your own fault. You didn't play it right." "You'ro strong for Chicago, aren't you?" 'Til talk about St fifteen innings any old time. If I had my way I'd have been born there." "Where did the Stork muff you?' "Muabado." "I Kdn't ask what bit yon. I aaked where you wero born. You misjudged that one." "I got it with one hand," insisted Tinker. "I was born in Muskado." Product of Kansas City. "Is that an insect or a regular etoppin-j place?" "It's a regular stopping place in Missouri, Mis-souri, but I didn't stop there long. A few minutes after I arrived I learned the name of the place and I pnt up a frightful fright-ful roar. I kicked and kicked, until at the age of thiee the family moved in to Kansas City to pacify me. Kansas City-is City-is eighty miles from Muskado, but doesn'x brag about the close connection." "Go on! Go on! Your story interests me strangely." "Singularly enough T started to grow after reaching Kansas City," continued Tinker. "Why did you stop hort?" "To become a shortstop." said Tinker. "You hit into a double play that time." "You're entitled to two bases on that hit." "I've got everything to-day." eaid Joe. "I'm going to break up this game in a minute. You figure me shorter than I arn. Most fans -do. I'm five feet eight, but ihey generally guess me two or three Inches shorter. I'm upright, but the uniform uni-form gives me a .square look. Business of laughing. Ha. Ha!" AiUUlUliilUUUt.VlVUtVVUt'V 1 FAST ONES FOR "Another breau . - - like that and you go jEEpgrT?? out of the game." &'Krfs ' J ' . "All right I'll be- 'ftew have. I began as a 'mt 'Mi 1' ' ' ' third baseman, play- ?fir"ff?Tlfii&k lng that position for feCTti teams in and around jtfs Kansas City. John I -t i-i.Jg; KHng and I were graduated from the Kansas City lots about the same time. I got my first big baseball job with Denver, in 1000. I told the manager man-ager I was the best third baseman in the world, and he showed he believed me by putting me on second. One morning I found that I made an unusual racket when I walked. I looked behind and found that I wax escorting a can. I fin-' ished the season with Helena. In 1901 I helped Portland, Ore., win the peanut, and in 1002 I waa Invited to take tea. with the Cubs." j Wanted Third Base. "What position were you playing then?" "Third base. I bad gotten awayVithi it at Helena and Portland with room to spare, .so I handed Frank Sclee. then manager of the Cubs, my favorite third base solo. 'I'm glad to hear it,' he said,. 'Go ou out there and play short to-day. I've been there eleven yeais." "Eleven years of continual wnrfare!" "This old Cub machine has surely been on the firing line," said Tinker, "and there's a lot of speed in it yet." "When was it at Us best?" "In 1008, in my opinion. That's the! j ear we won the penuant by one game. V refer to the famous game with the Giants. It may sound like a boast, but I don't think our nork thtt year will be duplicated dupli-cated in a hciry. The Sunday before that game we beat Pittsburg before a howling thirty thousand We had to beat them or it was all oil with ns, V laid in Pittsburg until Wednesday night and then hit the trail for New York. We fife r ' S&MP II' .'J, ' fe? "Joe" Tinker had !o tight our way into the Polo Ground that day and light every hich of the way! through the gaaic. We won with forty, thousand rabid Giant fans hooting us., We jnnipci? back to Chicago that nighr and jumped right into the world's :VrHH with Detroit. We won the series. KtB H team has ever been called on to go atRLK'll a heartbreaking pace " flfeHMl "Is It true that you have 'BHfH Hamlet?" H Hfll "I've been thinking of playing It HmBII bare bands," said Tinker. "There's K WmM of line drhes In it, but I think I m jlnl grab them." I jlll Designs on Hamlet. H' Mr I "That wouldn't bc much of a corn4JUKl The poor old fellow has been hRvflHl without gloves lots of times. ,.-SMfc' "If that's the case I'll stick to HH ft rlllc," laughed Joe. H K "Won't you sing us a little song? Hf-fl "Run, mother, the Indian' are IKS us!" shouted Tinker. "I never n'-Hil my life. I do a lecture stnnt in THB&X ville. I lecture on bascbalL llj BHk9 d6but, a few years ago. was the rciHHBflj a bet. The manager of a stock comBHRI was shy an actor when he wanted tRH on 'Brown of Harvard.' I told hiiflHH play the part, and he bet me I conlda'HB 'took the bet I had one speech twcHH I seven lines long and. believe mc I HH lot of fumbling trying to master 'tEH was fouling it off every chance I goKfl managed to get it over in gooLsl:al)?TKH then they starred me in a piece cbIUnHH Home Run.' flB To Desert the Drama. VVl "Where does the Tinker troupe 'Hm I this season?" BHl j "I've decided to leave the drama 'BHR fate this year. I expect to make an HkH 'mobile nip from Chicago to PorilHH jOrc. with Mrs. Tinker and my two H I have a big fruit farm near PortlHH Along about December I have arraH I to go on a shooting trip. I do a ,0 I I shooting in the winter." H "Where do you generally go?" H "To a little place in Illinois." H Tinker. "But I think I'll come to H York this time. It appears to beH open season here the year around." That was the wallop that broke ufH "' iRuVI |