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Show The Worldly Wisdom of Mr, Bumpkin, by w. j. ltxmpton JIIAYSKKDE Bl'MPKIN. of Jersey hursl-ou-the-, Passalque. was a profoundly wise and penetrating penetrat-ing person. lie had never bought a gold brick In his life and a lightning rod agent feared J. II. more than he feared the thunderbolts of Jove working on an alternating current. Occasionally he sharpened his w Its on the grind of the metropolis, but not often. His business kept him at home, aud, besides, he didn't want to be loo keen for daily use. lie 'rend the newspapers, news-papers, aud when a man reads the newspapers what Is left for him to know is almighty few and far be-tweeu. be-tweeu. Mr. Bumpkin didn't look his name, but that lndellnable something which differentiates the urbau and the rural was present to the educated sense, ,ind If Mr. P.. had got Into a Manhattan taxleab and merely said "lTome!" the driver would instinctively have headed for a North Ither ferry. Be this as It may, one morning lie was at the Jertfey-hursl-o-t-P station lo take the first iralu Into the city and he gave a very fair Impersonation of one of those veterans of short distance I ravel known as "commuters." "com-muters." At least he appeared so lo a stranger, but a few of his fellow townsmen who were roosting on a truck till the train came suggested that he had better "look out"' in the city or he would co'me" back home "plumb .skinned alive.'' Another friend suggested that ho "hnd oughtcr" swim the river so the green would be faded .on him "quite some" when he reached the New York shore, but J. LI. laughed at these pleasantries nnd boarded a train. All the way lu he studied his newspaper, mnk-ing mnk-ing a specialty of local Items Involving police activities, activi-ties, and when the conductor announced "All out!" ho Xelt revived1 and reinforced for any emergency. lie was Inconspicuous In the crowd thnt crossed tbfc river iid he did not have to ask his way when he landed under the shadow of the skyscrapers. He knew 'what he was there for, and he went straight to It. Nothing serious happened to hlni so long as lie remained re-mained down town attending to the business that brought hlni to the f llj Indeed, nothing serious could hae happened, for ho was In the hands of business friends, who slapped him on the back, told him stories, lunched him aud separated him from his money In a legitimate manner at thirty days for value rocehed. When he left them he was feeling like a nictropoUle, and at three o'clock ho was alone in the Tenderloin neighborhood with three hours at his dlsKsal lu which to got a taste of the real life of the cltj and simply "honing" for somebody to try to mow the grass on him. After an aimless wander of half an hour ho stopped in front of n clothing store w ludow to gather a few hints on the latest kibosh In men's attire, for Mr. B. was a good dresser, and a nice looking gentleman gentle-man lined up alongside of him. "Why. how do you do, Mr. Johnson?" said the gentleman gen-tleman quite spontaneously, as he put out a glad hand lo him. "How arc all the good people of Alloway?" At first Mr. B. was thrown oft' his guard, but in a iniiiule lie remembered what lie was out to dud. aud he braced himself for the fr.iy. lie was "on" bigger limn a load of buy. "My name isn't Johnson," lie responded with a guileless smile of confidence,' taking the gentleman's proffered hand, "and I don't como from Alloway. ' My name's Thompson and I'm from Notehvlllo." nnd ho chuckled deep down to himself nt the thought of a bunco guy trying to put It over an old one like hlni. "Oh, 1 beg your pardon!" cried the gentleman In much confusion, dropping Mr. ll.'s hand nnd hurrying away. "Now for his pal," hollloqulse.d Mr.iB., n;s ho moved off In the opposite direction, chuckling all 'over, "I wish to thunder them dubs over homo could pee me now," he. thought, as he rubbopneeked along, watting for his i Hey. Nobody on earth but a wNe Bonbon under similar circumstances can appreciate Mr. B.'s sense of power and .sensation of delight at this moment. mo-ment. Piesently another elegant geullgman accosted him. This time It was not so spontaneous as on "the pro- luiis occasion, for fhe gentleman stood at the corner and looked at him two oi thiee tlims as though ho must surely Know mm. i mniij uu tuuiiutitu ij doubt and approached. "Isn't this Mr. Thompson, of Notehvlllo?" he Inquired In-quired In a diffident, 'hesitating manner, notwithstanding notwithstand-ing he was springing on bun the same old gag. "No. sir." replied Mr. B.. frowning darkly, but keeping back of the shadow a radiance of Joy at the beautiful way In which he was passing It out to the busy bunks of the great city. "Of course you'io not." haw-hawed the gentleman, changing his manner Into such sudden and friendly familiarity that Mr. B. was thrown out of gear. "Of cQurde. you're not. 1 was Just jollying you, don't you know! Merely irlvlng you an linltntlon of a confidence con-fidence man teaching for n Beubcn. But you are too keen for that sort of racket, you are. I told my friend you' couldn't be woikcd. and there was no use trying. But ho Insisted, anil you put It onto us, all rlsht. all right, didn't you? 1 don't know who you are. but you nrc a good fellow, just the same, and I'd like to buy yon a drink. Lot's slip around the corner to a quiet place, out of fhe noise, fome on; you're the first man In ton years that hasn't fallen for my jQninl welcomo to our cjty." The gentleman, haw-hnwlng sonic more, fgrasped Mr. B. by the arm In the urgency of his hospitable Intent, and Mr. B. accepted the invitation, chuckling so Intensely at the easy thing he had got up ngalnbt that he was afraid he would give the whole thing nwny before tie close of the session. "By crlpes!" he said to himself as they sat down to u table Jn a cosey corner, "I've not only boat 'em at their own game, but they admit It nnd throw the drinks in free. 1 wonder what them Jersey Jays ould say If I hey saw me now!" Some hours later, when tho kindly cop picked Mr. B. up suffering from knockoutdropsy, the victim , didn't know whether ho lived lu Jersey or Jerusalem, and dldiTt hnve money or personal effects enough In Ids clothes lo have bought a osinI lo write homo to the folks to send him the price of a Moke to Jersey-burfrt. Jersey-burfrt. Mid Mr. B read all about If In the pajwi's next1 day, jlist as he hnd road many times of similar cases. bo did e oi bodj else In Jorsoj hurst-o t P. |