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Show 'APOTHEOSIS OF THE THANKSGIVING GOBBLER" I J CN 77i? Splendid Diner Oat Dilates Upon the Spirit of the Holiday, and the Delight of a Turkey Feast at Aunt Belinda's ( , m H & .? BY tiARNET WARREN. Ijjv f ffypjTlshl. 1011 by the New Tori, Itrrald Co, All richu rcfrYcil I p T has always seemed to mc that the Institution of sj I Thanksgiving Justified the existence of our Purl-v, Purl-v, tan ancestry, which, of course. vc possess. It pto-Vjljf pto-Vjljf I vided the opportunity for legitimate gluttony on at jjji Jeast one occasion in the year. It provided an in-sfi in-sfi centive to marriage by providing an iucentlve for de- cent gaslronomlcnl skill. Any woman suffragist will Itcli you that Otherwise we must have frowned upou the Puritans, if only on account of the claims of their descendants, to whom the Mayflower might be iouic-times iouic-times a sort of cerebral disease. The Puritans, however, were solid in the matter of Thanksgiving, though the way was made caiy for theui. so to speak. 'They IKed, for one -eason, beroi'e the days of hat and cloak pirates of the icstaurants, whose existence must have made the iutioduetion of 111 Thanksgiving impossible. Thcu there : ,'he ahscuee Vof the subway atmosphere to consider and' a 'Purl- tanlcal Inexperience of the possibilities to which base-i base-i hall ticket distribution may attain. f 5 So Thanksgiving Day became possible, and our eon-; eon-; r tinuancc of its processes merely prove that as. a . nal' " we possess a sense of humor. If you possess I j anything else please permit the ticket speculators to '. hear about It and watch it disappear. To be '-'taken i care of Is the privilege of every loyal fan. But we" , i were speaking of Thanksgiving. When Jacob sold his birthright for a moss of pot-" j tagc he was rightly entitled to an occasion "tor I .thanksgiving lie received the pottage Since that time there have been many Jacobs on whose behalf, however, one point of sympathy may yet be urged. No one a,tnong them ever approached Thanksgiving without a glow, whatever he may hae done afterward after-ward as a result of unskilled artistry at the range. No one ever regarded untouched the moving possibilities possi-bilities of turkey in his proper condition of tenderness and succulence, of cranberry sauce in exactly Its- appropriate ap-propriate state of glowing iusiuuant appeal, of sweet potatoes done, as if by very fairies' touch, at the exact, ex-act, the meticulous, the psychologic moment. Even a condition of slavery may not dull the dc.II-- dc.II-- : cate perception of such delights, which should be the heritage of nngels as of slaves. If ion Millie at Mich H appreciations you have obviously been cheated of some of the more insidious felicities, of which eveu ' ; existence may not deprive. You clearly Lave neglected I to be introduced to Aunt Belinda's aud may therefore I regard oven purgatory with complacence. Your course ; in life has been thorny and your reflections may well Ik; cynical. You have lived without a crisp comfort, , , an cxhilarant Inspiration (which It is alniostVleincan-) alniostVleincan-) : lug to term sauce), and a suave and velvet joy, which I"' ou may call sweet potatoes, and be content, If you have the soul of a green caterpillar. Otherwise you will do nothing of the kiud, but -vn II read with fitting reverence the manner in which these things may be prepared, that in some golden day you may forestall paradise by partaking of them. If you encompass this by way of the kitchen range, don't worry. Any paradise at a pinch. But the setting must come first. The turkey, being greater, shall be reserved. The turkey will keep, or should, do sp in November, if his name doesn't happen" to be Storage, which Providence forbid. Aunt Belinda's Haven. See then the place in which Aunt Belinda, who cooked mine, lived unconscious as ever arc the greater poets of a halo. Blaudlsh's Corners I name it that the inhabitants may not unduly be obsessed with pride. And you may call it a good twelve miles from a railroad. Bud Perkins' gcn'ral store is a the foreground, with the post olllcc at Us entrance, 'n ;, cans, 'n bottles 'n brooms, n hardwaic, '.n long boots, 'n farm tools In the dim recedes; 'n a smell of knrra- . sine all 'bout. Across the road and opulently back is ? Jcnkln Long's farmhouse, prinked in the ostentation ; of full weatherboard. It's the biggest place 'bout iierc A little further up Is Cy Gannett's gin a shed with lanky legs, dedicated to the severe virtue of pickln" cotton. Down at a peep of a road is a little log shuuty ., Nitb a chimney of lath and plaster aud a gelatinous ,'j durl; person wltliiu, chuckling with the matchless une- ; i tiou of her race. Perhaps she, too. Is to have turkey. I I Pine trees arc all about, set thick upon lonely hills. . and here and there Is a little clearing: 'n Bud Perkins Is selliu' on his piazza floor whittliu' In white shirt ': sleeves and dark best clothes (the stripe through 'em ; carefully selected, if you'll believe uie), and Bill '(' Geesh. with his full dark suit and hls'lean face, is next to him, whittliu' too; u' Ben Naggett in long ; boots and a black string tie is a-settlu.' there whlt- tllu' nho 'n chowln". 'n aimlu very exact at a cigarette cigar-ette box three defenceless yards away, "n covcrin' It Kith yaller loo every time. And the three expectantly expect-antly observe the roads, for there arc great doings on the way. n ia Thanksgiving Day and eight o'clock nud "I on'y oe but one turkey that beat that thar fclicr behind," said Bcu Naggett. presently, In a pause cm-ployed cm-ployed by him partly in the further pi cpa ration of fluid for the purpose of marksmanship The rest looked up as Ben nodded an anecdotal head toward the rear. Tie had alluded to a familiar topic. I'or weeks the turkey tur-key In the rear had been discussed In Intervals of salivatory activities, lie wns known with a uQt uu-antleipatlve uu-antleipatlve affection to the district. J-rSIiffl ,i 1 1 hll iii ! 131s size was dwelt upon; his weight was learnedly appraised. Ho was refencd to familiarly In n manner man-ner that suggested a spirit not unehcrisLied, and who will not admit that evidences of such icgynl "were merited? lie was no mere object of food, this one; he possessed an ti)e potentiality of a Major Dick. Songs might not unworthily hnve been sung to I1I111 as they have been sung lu honor of other Ultimate.. Lilt, gobblers gob-blers were red as popples or red wine, his jollow legs were tender as should be those of any turkey marked for the adoration of a district. Under his delicious feet "were skin unsullied and uncasked by use. Tender Ten-der was his breast bone as that of a virgin dryad In the velvet dusks of wood, by which allusion you may sec that poetry may well be written about turkeys. Behind the store he swelled unconscious unimaginative unimag-inative bird of his place. Little he knew that he was the prize of the shoot-off at Blandishes! Beside hlni nulled another fellow, but he was a star of lesser magnitude a mere subject for ralllc like you and I. We, alas! are no prizes of the shooting, cither. But it Is nine now of a crisp, shrewd morning. Along the roads slowly creep rigs of the old fashioned sort four wheeled and no nonsense in the matter of rubber tires. Howdy. Bud: Whj, howdy, Ben how is he? Proud in all unconsciousness of his approaching approach-ing apotheosis, the turkey swells lu the yard by the side of that humbler brother who Is onh to be rallied for. An admlrlnu circle forms about them pattern-lug pattern-lug I heir way with dexterous ejectments colored yaller. It ! a company among which Is observable a predisposition for darkish clothes and soft, blnck hats of an Insistent brim and a uniformly discernible skill lu the matter of ejectment. The subject of talk, of course, is obvious, and vvc!K ruflllngly. along with' small trlmphaut blast, an Illustration of the futility of fame. Every pound of him Iseyed antlclpatorllx. And If the finer notes of poetic appreciation are not drawn forth It is the fault of the poetry no; of the appreciation. Satirical remarks, however, are In order upon the subjects of wishbone5; Insidious properties enough, believe me. In cho aienut'.me the store has . -Mmi been revisited and BeifiNfiggliT'h'as invited Jhq company com-pany "plekln' daisies" the form of Invitation hi Blandlsh's Crossing, which ia prohibition and possesses pos-sesses no drug stores. They hide U lu Iroes at Blandishes. Blan-dishes. " ' in the exhilaration of return the rallle Is precipitated, precipi-tated, the shooting, too, In a clearing lu which a target is set upou a tree. Bud Peters wlus, and Joel Davis. The rigs are untethered from trce by the crossing. There are dubious congratulations by losers, who obviously must kill their own birds. The tonic of couvorsntlon is sacrificed before an admiring circle and hung swathed In some unworthy sack from Bud's rig. The preliminaries arc, done. Introducing Aunt Belinda. The time Is come to Introduce Belinda. Would that she had won the turkey, or that that great gift might have been bestowed upon .Tonkin I.oiur. her master ! In the case of Ben Nagget, I know thar those sacred Juices were uurevereuced. A worthy man, but an unpoctlc and one to whom none of subtlor secrets of cookery were known. Lie was or a kind that s'macked hl; lips at mere size, as If that mattered If but a blid were plump and possessed of the inner unctions which may be taken by those select among presiding divinities of the range and translated Into fall content. He never knew the scrupulous niceties of elcanslng or the subtler Intuitions In the matter of the precise heat of a stove. Uu him stay in outer ' darkness and let us turn our eyes upon Belinda, a fairer figure, albeit one whose color was rigidly emphasized em-phasized at birth, hc was ver. black and hlning, and smiling, lor all she posessed audi delicate divinations In the more secret charms of food. How .may one-know from Its envelope what the soul may her How might one gue- the refinements which lav within the quivering vasmesscs of Belinda's form: She was a rare spirit, unconscious, of the raptnessea In which she moved. With what solemnity solem-nity she chose hci Implement of sacrifice (call It knifc If you have an Instinct for being utterly out of ,tbne); wl;h what care she wielded lu spilling Its Incl-rdcuial Incl-rdcuial life like an inviolable goddess, that its form might be turned $o nobler things! With what -care she plucked And here I wis-h io spenk a word about plucking an j decent, self-respecting blrd,.thougluyou inust con-ccdo con-ccdo the credit to .Belinda, who. In her tlrjwny, made It known, Sho leeeivcd her knowledge from some forlultioin visit to Km nee. where she absorbed the secrets of Its pcopk- God's chosen gourmets upon earth. So,, iranseendentaily, It came to mo Refrain, then, I Implore you. from scalding any bird In the processes of your plucking. If you have any regard for mcaiid the enjoyment of your dinner afterward. "That It Is your American habit I know, but this shall not pardon you. We arc now upon no mere matter nf constructing skyscrapers, or navies, or that In which quick time should count for anything. Scalding water H fptrdyi but horrible It Js reminiscent of. llfo-jirofpsias llfo-jirofpsias of some ravenous trencherman who may be effective, but who is obviously discomforting. Desecration of a Shrine. Scalding water robs the ineffable outer skin, which Is greatly the delight of turkey or fowl, of the most delicate Juices, of Its supremest Joy, It takes from It Us capacity for rich erlspness. Insinuating, permeating permeat-ing fulness of flavor Its steeps of fair delight which fhe true iinconiainlnatcd skin of jour royal turkey shoulil yield. It makes of you a desjxitor at an qs-seutlal qs-seutlal shrine. Would you spill hot water on some conscious omelqtte upon a score of time? Why, then, dull with contaminating ways a royalist of birds? No. no: touch him so tenderly, phick him with care, without hot water, my mistress, nnd against the fall of feathers, that undisturbed may be the virgin tenderness ten-derness of fair, plump skin. Never, either, flush with water his exquisite In-sldw. In-sldw. whore some of his fullest steeps ,of flavor are. Never penult your desires for sanitation to sweep from you the last fair fragments of Arcadian things that the gods still allow to exist npon this world. Wipe him with a cloth, and so clean him when you hac punctiliously bestowed his proper ltals In some regarded place. In this way the very Juices of his soul are gladly given to you. Would you spill scalding scald-ing water upon the bloom of some radiant, unsuspicious unsuspi-cious rose? If the cook books order jou to do It, dlsre- gard them an you love me. Cook books, too, may have lH the fool of clay. There is the question o! the stove. H That is, of course, if you musf use a stove. Per- H sonnlly I prefer a spit, like the good French. A spit M keeps your bird ethereally moist, as It turns round u H round 'n round like some entrancing game of child- H hood before the hearty coals. That bird doesn't pud- H die In some liquid which never can Improve a bird. H Given your oven, madam, If you must be pnident, H and keep it at first conservatively slow, that agafn tho H very precious Juices should bo kept. Be taidy Initial- ly. nnd o secure, as Is the way or nature, for a quick H cooked bird is apt to make cynics It Is so dcmuiflon H dry. Increase your heat at your half distance,' ad to H speak. This 'win make for your final crispness. and H your succulence as well. It will also aid digestion; M though, of course, you don't mind that. You prefer tablets, J know. H A Sense of Perfection. fl Wowlll come back to Belinda with a sense of the H true perfection to which turkey may attain. She j moves colloctly like some enshrined goddess In Jhe H heaven of her predictions. - The fair, white body of H her unexceptionable turkey lies before her symbol of tragic hopes and fears to thousands of perfectly1 virtuous houeowives who so affectionately bestow in- M digestion upon their husbnnds. They, however, are not. adopt like Belinda, who. beneath her billowing vastness, seems to possess a sort of rhythm possessed by the greater painters nnd fashioners ofTwoids. Ob- serve her as she takes her giblets (desecrated name!), M scrupulously bestowed by her In her convenient saucer, and chops them minutely with the care that one lm- aglnes Richard 1c Galllcnne lavishes upon his much prized stanzas. H In tho meantime the chestnuts are boiling have M been boiling for perhaps three hours, for Belinda takes l tho large, fat French ones, poignant tone might say) H with meat and of more Insidious gift; of subtle flavor than those we gather lucre. She mcrJcuously ravishes from 'them their shell, and then the Inner Jacket. While, naked. Joyful little bodies! Gentle, innocent H objects! A potato masher would seem to desecrate joii! But so It must be If you are to be metamorphosed M Into stufllng. Belinda, If any one, however, may do so. Her mashing seems a kind of gracious rile, set upon a canopy of billows. So proceeding, she mcas- ures scrupulously half a pint of cream, beats the H golden yolks of two eggs, mixes 'em together, mixes M butter, pepper, salt and the most particularly exact H quantity of thyme, and forms a precious cargo of tho whole cream, egss butler, popper, salt and thyme H together. What subtle distillation might be calculated IH to bo more gratifying to chestnuts, mashed thoueh M they be? Nothing that I could think of, till Belinda H had a happy thought. Chopped (very delicately . H chopped) sausage! In an instant it was added to the H giblets, which were graciously, delicately chopped, M too. Tho result, of course, very measurably ap- H proached poetry of a high order. H If you can Imagine sausage and glblcLs (In such' tiny H eho'pplugst, n chestnut, 'n cream, 'n all the rbsf. M lulled to so amiable, a paste, you will uudcr&tand mc, M If you can't, please take mc for grantee.. You've a palate, at all events. .;.-.? But the turkey, not unnaturally, gaped, Who would, IH not, even If one's gizzard was slit, for sudua gallant IH freightage? Now Belinda tied the ueck with String"- M excusably. I thought. What preparing turkey would H desire lo waste so potent a charge as such stufllng,, H tilled as that bird should be to the very brim? Now M for the thread to cw It in It may be removed (and the string, too), when the bird nppears to minister to H .lour exultant pnlatcs. Then dredge him with flour M give him royal rites and Insinuate hlni into the oven. H Pour over him water and sweet butter like some. bap- M tlsmal oil at first. Lay like some sweet sacrifice a dab M of sweetest butter in the corner of his pan. Pour fl every little while his gravy about him; ho likes It. It H will keep him moist. Then watch him and pray for H him nnd salt him half an hourbcfore his time to come M forth triumphant. H You will dry him If you salt him at first. Cook him H so, according to the ritual, half an hour to wnrm and M ten minutes for each pound of him. And one thing H more: Leave hiiii unbastcd. 1 pray you, for his Unal H twqnty minutes, that his skin may dry and become H cris;p. 'n crummy, 'n crackly, and may give to you H many of the felicities which you know you do not H deserve. Then say grace afterward that you may H bo truly thankful. H What is that I henr you whisper, madam? A turkey ' H doeau't make a dluuer? There are other dishes? Cer- H tnlnly. .What are tho cook books for? M |