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Show I' JUST FOR FUN I Elated. I "Evidently tho market lias been going your way." m ' "No, I never speculate." "What is It, thon? You seem to bo particularly cheerful." "My wife has just consented to burn the letters I wrote her be-foro be-foro wo were married." Chicago Record-Herald. Strength. Visitor I wonder where that horrid odor comes from. It can't be I the stockyardB because the wind I Isn't blowing from that dlroctlon. I Native That wouldn't make any I difference, mister; when that sraoll I I BlartB on its travels there's no I 'jfy wind that can stop It Chicago Tribune. 1 ' j j Nuances. 1 r There aro rules to bo observed j C ' even in expressing oneself con- ( cernlng the offocts of the weather & upon one's anatomy. A young , 1 ' Frenchwoman, who was learning English while on tour with an 1 ' American governess, once inad vertently exclaimed, Oh, my, T am f all of a sweat!" "Mademoiselle," exclaimed the governess severely, j "never let me hear you use that I word again! Horses sweat, men I j " ' perspire. Ladles onlr glow." r f A Loving Child. V, Pupil (tp schoolmaster) Sir, would you mind taking great care f , how you draw up my report? My 1 parents suffer dreadfully from nerves. Exchange. i Exact Reckoning. A grocer, one of the moanest of men, was ono day serving a customer cus-tomer with a pound of butter whon, Just a o was about to pull It off the scales, the customer said: ''Excuso me, tut that Is not correct cor-rect weight." ''Well," roplied the grocer, "I am allowing for that fly that Bat .on the, weight." Tit-Bits. Sweet Child. "Yes," said little Elsie, "mamma says she Is always glad to let me come to parties at your house." "It is very nice of your mamma to say thaU" " 'Cause sho says you're bo savin' that thero'a never any danger you'll give mo anything that will be rich enough to hurt me." Chicago Record-Herald. Another Objection Recorded. "I am thoroughly in favor of this movement to prevent people from kiBSing babies," said Senatoi Sorghum. "Becauso of the gorm theory?" "Yes, and for personal reasons. I've got to' make a house-to-house campaign among my constituents pretty boon,". Washington Star. All Too Late. He Yes, It's very true, a man doesn't learn what happlnoss is until ho'n married! Shej-I'm glad you've discovered that "at last. ' He Year ' and when he's "married "mar-ried Jt's too 'late. Le Rire.?' " - ' ' .J ' t 1 ' " ' ' r- --, |
