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Show Just aA Little WASTING HIS TIME "I have here,' said the shabby call-?r. call-?r. "a book containing a hundred money-making secrets." ''What is the price?" "Twenty-five cents." i 'How- many sales have you made ' today T "Only three or four." "Uniph ! If that boob contains so many money-making secrets as you say It does, why don't you take a day , off and read It?" Brooklyn Eagle CLUBS ARE HANDY THINGS He (speakings of women) Now In New York It's club women on. all sides. She Yes such a brutal place I Somebody's always beating a woman up there. Sudden Change in Direction While eastward bound He tried his best To beat the train And then went wesfc A Friendly Fit Beads of perspiration stood out on the forehead of the shoe clerk as he rose to his feet after trying on practically prac-tically every No. 5 shoe In the store, "Shall I wrap up a pair for you, lady?" asked the exhausted clerk. "No, thanks," replied the lady shop . per.. ."I. was just trying them on for a friend." Houston Post. Exactly So The eminent financier was discoursing. discours-ing. "The true secret of success," he said, "is to find out what the people want." "And the next thing," some one suggested, sug-gested, "is to give It to them." "No," said the financier, "to corner It" . Duly Witnessed "Say !" bellowed the sergeant, prodding prod-ding the dusky rookie with his foot. "Wake up, you ! Why wasn't you out to stand revnille?" "Oh, dat's all right, snrge; yl' don' need to worry about me. Why, I could i see It from hyah I" American Legion Weekly. ' DUCKED, OF COURSE "When that doctor struck at Jim for calling him a quack, what did Jim do?" : -:: "Ducked." Home Hunting We care not for the house or land Round which the breezes quiver If a garage is near at hand In which to leave the flivver. Useful Knowledge Jim How are you getting on wltb the cooking lessons, honey? Betty Oh, wonderfully! By the time we are married I'll be a perfect -cook, and I shall be so happy, especially espe-cially when you are 111, for I'm learning learn-ing all sorts of nice recipes for in-! in-! vallds. . j What He' Called It j Hubby I always call a spade a I" spade I ;, Wtfle-I-wIsh you'd be just as careful care-ful about calling a snow-shovel a snow-shovel snow-shovel when you have to use one, my dear. Lavish Spender "I hear that Tammas Is purty close wl' his money." "Ay; Tammas can break a saxpence : buyln' a Monday morning paper and have spendln' money a' the rest o' j the week." ! The Cuckoo "What can you tell me of the cuckoo?" ' "The cuckoo Is a bird which lets other birds lay Its eggs!" FUegende Blatter, Munich. Qutfe Different Collector Is Mrs. Jackson at home? Maid Yes, but she Is not receiving ; today. Collector Oh, that's all right I'm not delivering I'm collecting. |