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Show r COW'S MILK TRANSPARENT. This Is Not a Delusion. Either, but Merely a Dilution. Old Capt. Joshua Ketcham, who recently re-cently died at Amityville, L. I., was much respected and beloved by the summer residents who used to saii with him on the bay and catch blue-fish. blue-fish. There was always a refreshing flavor of the sea in his talk. One day when a party of city men were sailing with him the conversation turned on the difficulty of getting good, fresh milk in Amityville, and they appealed to the captain to know why. "Well," said Captain Joshua, "it's been that way as long as I can remember. re-member. My wife made be buy a cow-once. cow-once. I bought her from Elbert Half up on the north turnpike and gave him $40 for her. Elbert said she'd give twenty quarts of milk a day, and I guess she did, but you could see bottom bot-tom in six fathoms." Youth's Companion. Com-panion. The Mother Instinct At the close of his talk before a Sunday school the bishop invited questions. ques-tions. A tiny boy, with a white, eager face, at once held up his hand. "Please, sir," said he, "why was Adam never a baby?" The bishop coughed in doubt as to what answer to give, but a litle girl, the eldest of several brothers and sisters, came promptly to his aid. "Please, sir," she added smartly, "there was nobody to nuss him." London Tit-Bits. Looking for a Bargain. Ikey Rosenbaum had collected three dozen eggs, which he offered to a dispenser dis-penser of soft drinks for a dollar. When the eggs were counted it was found that there were tlrirty-seven. "Vot vill you git me for der von over?" asked Ikey. "I'll treat you to a drink," said the purchaser. "All right," said Ikey. "I'll haf an agg and milk." Boston Transcript. Shoot, George! . "Gee, but business is rotten!" said the thin man as he addressed Lie fat man on the rear platform of the 'car. "I am laying off hands every day." "That's funny," returned, the fat man. "I'm putting on hands every day." "What business are you in?" asked the thin man. "I'm a watchmaker," replied the fat man. Pointed Criticism. Theodore Dreiser, the novelist, was talking of criticism. "I like pointed criticism," he said, "criticism such as I heard in the lobby of a theater the other night at the end of the play. "The critic was an old gentleman. His criticism, which was for his wife's ears alone, consisted of these wcds: " 'Well, you would come'." Kansas City Times. Sure, She Knew. Mabel was explaining the baseball game to Estelle. "What makes the man with the bat in his hand keep waiving It around like that?" inquired Estelle. "Why, you silly goose," answered Mabel, "he does that so the pitcher can't hit It, of course." Happened Off Duty. Employe Sir, I would respectfully ask you for an increase of salary; I have got married lately. Manager Very sorry, Horneyhand, I can be of no assistance to you. Tho company is not responsible for any accident ac-cident that happens to Its employes when off duty. Birmingham Age-Herald. A Substitute. "We gazed pityingly on the listless drug store clerk leaning against the soda counter. "Haven't you any ambition?" we queried, kindly and all that. "No," he replied, with brightening Intelligence, "but I have something Just as good." Newbrush Journal. Making George Stand It. Crabshaw I've no objection to your petting married, my dear; but I really can't stand the expense of a wedding. wed-ding. Marjorie I'll try to help you out, papa. Perhaps I can throw a ' scarce Into George and get him to propose an elopement. Judge. ' Something Just as Good. "That telephone girl was polil1, 1 must say." t "How so?" "Couldn't give me the number 1 wanted, but offered me my choice of 1 several other nice numbers." Stage Note. I "Villain, I defy you," said the heroine, hero-ine, drawing herself to her full height. "Do your worst." ; "Don't ask him to do that, MisH." i pleaded a voice from the gallery. "Hist acting is bad enough as :l Is." |