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Show Extreme Meet. A hungry young cyclist had put up for tbe night at a wayaide inn and found tbe supper rather scanty, tbe moat -aubHtantlal part of it b:iog a single sausage roll. "Is that tbe best you can do In tbe way of sausage rolls?" he asked. "Why," said the bout. "Isn't it good ?' "Oh, It's good enough perhaps; but the ends ot It don't suit me." "The ends. What's the matter with them?" 'Too near together," said the hungry youth, aud the Innkeeper took the hint. Lost. A man bad occasion to ship a mule by rail to another county. He eent the animal to the station in the core of a darkey. When the freight was put on tbe car the darkey looked through tbe bar and new that the mule va eating tbe tag upon which his destination vu marked. The darfci-y at once ran home. "Manna! Massa! Dut mule, be done gone and et up do place whore be e gwine to!" Harper's Mugnzlne. On the Lefthand 6lde. Pat, who was lefthanded, waa being worn in a a witness In tbe weat aide court of Denver, Colo. "Hold up your right band," said the Judge. Up went Pat's left hand. "Hold up your right band," commanded com-manded the judge sternly. "Sure and , I am, yer honor," declared de-clared Pat. "Me right hand's on me lefthand side." Woman's Home Companion. Com-panion. She Couldn't 8ay, "Is your husband hard to please?" Oh, I don't know. I've never tried to please him yet" Woman's Wsy and Man's. "The trouble with you women." be said, "is that you are always too ready to be suspicious of one an- ptner." "I Boppoae we bave that fault." ah replied, "and the trouble with you men ia that you are always ready to lie for one another, even when you ought to know your lying Isn't going to do any good." Chicago Record-Herald. Record-Herald. Auto Got There First Judge The prisoner claims that be tooted hla horn before be ran over you. Complainant (much damaged) Maybe he did. your bonor; but what good I that when a car is traveling aster than sound? Boston Transcript Tran-script No Ear for Him. Nell, aged ft, watched hi mamma serve oyster stew to tb other members mem-bers ot the family. Just as Nell was about to receive hi be exclaimed, "Say, mom, I don't want any ear In bin!" A Serioo Matter. Boe What are you handing la rour resignation for? Messenger Well, boa, you called no down twice dia week, ao I thought I'd better git out before I'm tempted o make things unpleasant for d Urm Judge. Unnecessary. "To ought to brace sp and a bow rour wife who I running thing at rour hous." -It lao't neeescarr. She knew." louston Post. |
