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Show Only 3.4 per cent of the surface I Norway is cultivated. Drink Denisonrs Coffee, Kor your health's sake. Sad Specialist. "Lovely summer we've been having." hav-ing." "Yes. But it's bad for business." "You can't mean that a delightful climate is bad for business." "Yes. Tm the man who makes a specialty of getting up Don'ts' for hot weather." Wet With Tears. Fair Tragedienne And you liked my performance? Gallant Admirer Oh, It was the very acme of tragic art! But I am almost al-most sorry I went, 1 caught such a fearful cold. Actress Cold! Why, tbe theater was warm. Admirer Yes, but the floor was so damp. Actress Indeed! What could have caused that? Admirer The tears. She gave him a free ticket for the season. Chicago News. The Patriot. Sir Thomas Lipton said at a provi-sloners' provi-sloners' banquet In London: "All the blame for high prices is put on us dealers. You'd think, the way some people talk, that we dealers were as false in our patriotism as the chap who was sanding his sugar the other day with his errand boy's help. "The errand boy, lifting a scoopfui of sand, asked: " 'The usual proportion, sir?' " 'No, Joseph, of course not,' the boss replied sternly. 'The usual proportion pro-portion in days like these? Joseph, where's your patriotism?' "Then he sighed and added: " 'Only half the usual proportion of sand, Joseph only half the usual proportion pro-portion as long as our gallant troops at the front have such need of sandbags.' sand-bags.' " The Last Straw. Mary Jane's master is a slightly eccentric bachelor. He has one most Irritating habit. Instead of telling her what he wants done by word of mouth he leaves on his desk, or on the kitchen kitch-en table, or anywhere else where she is likely to see it, a note curtly directing direct-ing her to "Dust the dining room", or "Turn out my cupboard," and so on. The other day he bought some note-paper, note-paper, with the usual die-sunk ad: dress Imprinted upon it, from the stationer, sta-tioner, and ordered it to be sent home. Mary Jane took it in, and the first thing that caught her eye was a note attached to the package. She read it open-eyed. "Well," she said, "he's asked me to do a few things in his blessed notes, but this is the limit. I won't stand It no longer!" For the note read: "Die Inside This Package." London Mail. |
