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Show He Had. No Kick, j "I don't think Diogenes ought to b J Bo pessimistic about honesty," said one Athenian to another. "What's your point?" j "All he had was his lantern and his tub. He still has those, while I've been skinned out of three fortunes. Yet I'm still optimistic." Pittsburg ' Post. Wouldn't Do at All. I Chaplain (in French town neat the front) I have been working so hard. j of late that I feel rather run down. I j must try a tonic. ! Soldier Why not try ' a glass of i lager? Chaplain (badly shocked) 0, that's Teutonic. ; No Bears. "Language is a .queer thing. Tou speak of our forebears." "And yet you insist that we ars descended from monkeys." John Did His Duty. "It is the duty of everyone to'maks-at to'maks-at least one person happy during the week," said a Sunday school teacher. "Now have you done so, Johnny?" "Yes," said Johnny promptly. "That's right- What did you do?" "I went to see my aunt, and she u happy when I went home." ladli' Home Journal. Popular. "Who is the most -popular man 1 your club?" V, "I am." n, , "Isn't it rather conceited of yon to ' say so?" "Oh, no; It 1b merely enjivalent to saying that I lose more money at poker than any of the other members." mem-bers." Stylish. The '-distress I shall take one of the children to church with me this morning. Mary. The Maid Yes'm; which? The Mistress Oh, whichever i:! go best with my new Mauv'e dress. Sketch. Watchful Waiting. "Mother was rather angry with y"B last night." "Why? I didn't kiss you?" "Just so. And she wnlted all ,tl9 evening at. the keyhole for nothing." Kansas City Journay. Offering a Cholca. "Husband, we. have hern in the city too long. I must go away." "Well, it's up to you. Would rather have a coat of tan now or sealskin coat next winter?" Kansas City Journal. Any Old Town. First Passenger I understand 'th mur city has the rottenest politics.) ring In the country. Second Passenger That's rlpH But how did you know wb-rs from? First Passenger I didn't Ufa. A Plentiful Supply, "You say she wears a good mnnJ Jewels?" "Yes; she looks Hko he was st' fd up for an nntlrlpnled diamond f tne. -Louisville Courier j JUruI. |