OCR Text |
Show Chatter Box 1 ea r Suzy, Tin Society of Ditch JumjeiH , Who Didn't Make It are planning a eting this weekend when they will consider four applied I ions to oln their organization Two of them, 1 am mire will make 11k? . grade, but 1 am dubious aboul the other two as they may lie disqualified disqual-ified on small I echnicalit les. Josie Walker, the first one up for consideration will he taken in witli flying colors. Her application states stat-es that she was all dressed up lo go to town, and In hacking the car out of the garage,, got going u rapid rate and stepped on the gas Instead of 1 ho -font hrake, and ended end-ed up In the hottom of (lie hig canal near the Walker homestead, and I he canal was full. It is seldom that people carry car washing to such lengths and vigor, tail Josie being a cleanly person muiit have felt that Winn didn't do a good ob on the car and she was forced to do It over. She says that in the future she will wear a swimming suit so u to be prepared for this event ua III y in case it rears its dripping head. Ceorge Church will he taken In without doubt, as after his ducking duck-ing he had to swim for It. lie was out near MrCornlek driving along the canal bank when he spotted u flock of si p. Heing curious as to the number he began to count them, anil thereby came his downfall. down-fall. I have always understood that when you count sheep you arc about to fall asleep and Die next thing you know it is morning. Hut not with Ceorge. He started counting stieep and the next thing he knew he was sputtering in linear lin-ear while water poured in a window win-dow and be hail to swim out. What he and Josie should do is start a car laundry as their novel ami rapid manner of washing a car would make them a mint of money. Of course, after u washing wash-ing such ns they have been doing to their cars the back seats aren't are-n't much good for anything but planting rice. Jerry Nielson will no doubt not make the grade for membership as he didn't jump a ditch, or even trv. but set there contemplating it while the car took its own course. He was coming back from the Denver Den-ver stock show and feeling right swell that he had been all that way and without so much as to scratch a fender, when he was rolling roll-ing down the road near the Rocky Ford bridge, like a horse hurrying home. Those that know the road know that it comes along and then a-bruptly a-bruptly decides to cross the river and railroad. Jerry being familiar with this area,, not paying much attention to the road when suddenly sud-denly he was confronted with 3 choices. . He could try to make the turn and no doubt, end upside up-side down in the river. 2. He could go straight ahead and make one less phone pole in the world. 3. He could take off to the barrow pit and eliminate a goodly stretch of railroad fence. While he was deciding the course to pursup the car had a mind of its own and the next thing he knew he was sitting at a high angle, as the car had playfully climbed the railroad embankment em-bankment and was using the front wheels like elbows across the first rail. A survey of the damage and possibility of getting out showed that the car was firmly wedged on the bank and was high centered. He had just started thinking of ways and means of getting out when the WHOO! WHOO! of a train told him that time was wasting wast-ing and he had better get a wig-trie wig-trie on. He ran up the track the direction the train was coming from and grabbed a switchlight on the way with which he was able to flag the train. He was not of an easy frame of mind when the engineer told him they were going that way and would give him a little boost when they got there. But they did get the train stopped again and the crew was able to pry the car off the track and put Jerry on his way. By keeping dry Jerry loses an opportunity op-portunity to become a fullfledged member of this society. Our next applicant is Orlin Hun-saker Hun-saker and he will be disqualified as he also had kept dry in his maneuvering. ma-neuvering. He had been kidding Bill Starley about the fence that strayed far from the straight and narrow and weaved and wove up and down the alley until Bill did have it made straight and nice 'n white. Then what does Orlan do but drive in the driveway adjoining adjoin-ing the fence and proceed to pull off pickets with his front fender. Bill made the mistake of putting up pickets in the first place. He should have strung harp strings a-long a-long the alley and then Orlin could have plucked out a snappy version of "Don't Fence Me In," or "Deep in the Heart of Texas," only that "Texas" looks like a plug for his Texaco gas. Orlin found, when he tried to replace re-place the pickets with new ones, that the few he had mutilated represented re-presented more lumber than the combined stock of all the yards in Millard county, and Max Hannifin and Harold Morris have been over to see Bill to bid on the pieces, so that they can have at least one board in stock. ' Little does Orlin realize that Bill, with his usual conservatism and forethought, has extra pickets salted away because he has always al-ways felt that the fence would come to a sad end. Now all Orlin has to do is buy some pickets from Bill and get Nick's grandkids to paint them. L. N. Nickle is still having paint troubles. The other day he went outside to check up on his grand-kids grand-kids and found them with 4 cans of paint opened and his hearse. had a nice new shiny coat of red paint, with the garage doors painted a solid black. It took 5 gallons of gas and a gallon of turpentine to clean up the kids and the hearse. Well, I must go to the stock show to see how others throw the bull, Toots. |