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Show KATHLEEN NORRIS Care for the Old Person Upstairs "T7ROM THE TIME I was mar- ried 22 years ago," writes a Massachusetts woman, "I have had the care of one helpless member of the family after another. First it was my husband's dear old grandmother, who lived with us, and while she was bright and independent inde-pendent and we all loved her, she could not assume responsibility for anything. "After some years of that, my own beloved father and mother moved in when they came back from long residence in the Orient, and after Dad suddenly died. Mother settled down here for the remaining years of her life. She was a semi-invalid, bright and amusing, and loved by my children, but a real care, as trays had to go up to her rooms on the third floor three times a day for eleven years. more vigorous ones, and expect the sacrifices that are inevitable?" All Families Face It Harriet is quite within the truth when she says that almost every family, at one time or another, has had to face the tedious, endless care of an aged person, whose life, however active and honorable, has come down to feebleness and dependence de-pendence and seeming uselessness. "Seeming uselessness," you note I say. For these burdens are anything any-thing but useless, really, and the fruit of their effect upon our homes is an invaluable one. No training could be of more use to growing boys and girls than this constant reminder of the sacred obligation that is upon us all, to make the last years of old persons dignified and comfortable, and to give them, if we possibly can, the sense of being loved. This good healthy protest impresses im-presses me as coming from a generous, gen-erous, fine woman, who has shouldered shoul-dered the problem of these exacting exact-ing guests with great spirit and capability. Note that it is a "dear old grandmother," a "beloved father and mother," and "a fine old father," to say nothing of the "adorable small niece." No, Harriet Gillespie wrote in a burst of good-natured impatience. Perhaps she had just chanced to calculate exactly how many of her married years had been spent in nursing and guarding her old people. peo-ple. But in her heart she knows that it is good for a boy of 15 to have had years of carrying trays upstairs; up-stairs; good for young girls to pay daily visits to the sickroom, developing de-veloping their young sympathy for the old and suffering. Why not take this situation as normal? "Mother's death left me really desolate, but her room was not long empty. My husband's fine mother died in California, and his father came to us. His father who is generosity itself, owns this comfortable com-fortable old family home in which we have always lived and, of course, has every right here, as well as a claim on us, but I can assure you that my heart failed me when the business of consideration considera-tion for one more old person had to take first place in our domestic plan. Now I not only have this good, patient, but almost helpless old man, but the charge of an adorable ador-able small niece who is recovering from a serious bout with polio. Lifetime Devoted to 111 "As a result," this semi-serious letter continues, "my entire married mar-ried life has been geared to the care of persons not able to take care of themselves. And as we all know, almost every family has one of these persons. The homes that care for them charge as high as $100 per week for very ordinary Our fashion of living is peculiarly American. Older nations, and we ourselves in the beginning, took the inclusion of the old grandmother, grand-mother, the maiden spinster aunt, the orphaned small cousins, as a natural nat-ural part of the family. Youngsters learned in their own homes what it meant to be considerate, self-sacrificing, self-sacrificing, understanding of life's tragedies and problems. Incidentally, Incidental-ly, there was less divorce under that system, less nervous breaking down, fewer calls for the psychiatrist. ". . . a semi-invalid . . ." accommodation and are, at their cheapest, out of reach of the average av-erage family budget. So we have to fix trays and clear trays, make beds up fresh, give baths, and have on tap endless sympathy and understanding. under-standing. "We are not rich," Harriet Gillespie's Gilles-pie's letter continues, "but we are comfortable beyond any reasonable complaint. I have had one good kitchen helper for more than 15 years, and also now have a practical prac-tical nurse for my two invalids. "But what I'm writing you for is a protest against this intrusion into the family" circle of these derelicts dere-licts beloved, perhaps, but still derelicts. Sam and I haven't had two years out of our 22 without one or the other of them. Our son and daughters have grown up in an atmosphere of 'run upstairs, dear, and see if somebody is all right.' Surely there must be some more reasonable and economical way of solving this problem. Is It right for these older or invalid persons per-sons simply to settle down on the |
