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Show Brief and Breezy. Boston bnnsts of a Inlntor three feet ' long. Well, t hero aro others I Beef Trust prices go up 30 per cent. Somo day tho beef trust will go all the jway up. ; Often an earnest ovnngollst Muds that preaching hell 11 ro gives tho sinners cold feet quicker than anything else. "Smile when you cat," writes a household adviser. Hut bo careful not , to laugh If your wife did tho cooking. ' Tho girl who married the first man she ever met nuvcr know tho pleasure of being cnpigcd to halfi a dozen of the easy marks at onu time. " A Mr. Dust is a prominent candidate for Mayor of Milwaukee. He ought to oxpcrlenco very llttlo trouble keeping in thu public cyo during tho camaplgu. According to a Chicago scientist, every man is his own electric battery. It U strange under thu circumstances, how fuw men uro shocked at their own acts. What's this? A coal strike in April? Good scheme! Now lets havo ull our Ico striking Iu Junuary, and hot "Tom and Jerry" strikes on tho fourth of July. "Wo want eggs and wo want them bad" advertises a Kansas merchant. If his luck is no better than ours, there is no reason who ho shouldn't get most of them bad at any rate. Every woman patronizing a photographer photo-grapher wants her picture to do her J list Ico, and if tho photographer is wlso ho will see that tho justlcu is tempered with mercy. Mary Callahan, a Texas widow, owns 60,000 sheep. When wo consider tho fact that Mary had a llttlo lamb only to bcglu with, it must bo 'aoknowleged that she has done remarkably well. Herald, Tarklo, Mo. Thu Oklahoma courts havu decided that a man who comes into thu Statu with a flask of brandy violates thu law. Now they only need to apply tho same ruling to thu man enrrlug an empty bottle out of tho Statu In order to catch them coming and going. "An Ohio hen chows tobacco," sna an exchange. Chewing tobacco ought to bo coutliied to all animals that can not spit. A Massachusetts heu laid an egg with a quarter iu It. Wu havo ill-ways ill-ways heard that theru is money iu hens. Logan (O.) Republican. It Is a pity to see a person neglect Indications of kidney or bladder trouble that may result In Hrlght's dUea.se when Foley's Kldnoy Itcmedy will correct irregularities and strengthen these organs, Taku Foley's Kldnoy Hemedy at the first sign of dungcr. Hltur llros. Garland and Tremouton Drug Store, A man employed In tho Burlington shops at Havclock found a chicken bonu iu a plug of chewing lobaceo, and sent thu tobacco and its contents to Food Commissioner Johuson. It seems to us tho only kick the tobacco chowcr has coming is because thu whole chicken wasn't theru. Hastings (Neb.) Tribune. An exchange tells a horrible tnlo about a young lady who thoughtlessly jurked buck hur head so suddenly to keep from being kissed that it broke her neck. This should bo a warning to all girls not to Jerk back. Iu fact, it would bo better to lean forward a little. .Millstadt (III.) Enterprise Tho Western Publisher of Chicago, III, printed a cut of Yo Editor's son In their last issue and had thu following to say concerning him: "A Young Editor This Is Douglas A. Wlxom.xon of J. A. Wlxom, publisher of thu Garland (Utah) Globe He has just been taking his "bawth" ami feels as tine as a llddle. Douglas has passed thu seven mouths' rublcon and Is as healthy and lusty as a young duck In an April shower. May ho live long and prosper." |