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Show gbr gait akf gfibnnr Women Sunday Morning Jure Itvle d Food Family at One 17. 1973 ... has their image really changed? By Garv Lesser Lifestyle Staff Writer Here is todays Father's Day quiz A score of 50 percent or better is excellent Fathers owes its John Bruce Dodd Spokane. Wash, who in 1910 paid tribute to her father. William J Smart, because he had brought up his children orphaned of their mother? (True or False) 2) The Ministerial Association of Spokane, newspapers and carious commercial interests promoted the acceptance of the idea, which was facilitated by the existing popularity of Mothers Day? (True or 1) origin Day to Mrs False) 3) Since that time, the role ol the father has changed, a) not at all. b) somewhat, c) greatly , cl) none of these, e) all of these Questions one and two are true The answer to number three is a matter of preference particularly if you're a father. ily figure, the head household, the decision-make- of the r Nearly automatically, he bev ice-p- i esident in charge of disciplining the kids, head of the committee to resolve all conflicts and chairman of the board m all family mat- came ters. So what's changed0 Nothing, in those families that are still run in the guise of monarchical benevolence But they're becoming tne exception rather than the rule, says Dr. Brown has The responsibility shifted from the father as the strong figure being strong says. As to the office and spank the child0 He didnt asks Dr Brown have any conflicts with him. to the mother he as well, Its a nonsensical idea but it happens, although less and less How about the other classic: Just wait till your father gets home' Dr Brown es this threat is now a seldom used lme father being the head of the household, this happens only when the mother allows it It's a false role." says Dr. Brown, and the father doesnt want to maintain it. be-he- v Consequently, the mother is assuming more of what was previously considered the fathers exclusive domain-responsib- He says as women gam more a freedom better understanding will be promoted between the father and his children Resultantly. the discipline will occur before the father gets ho le. and the ility. Why is he supposed to come home, a Her a day at the Psychologist William 11 Brown is grading the test you d better maik b He says the role of the father has changed, although not m the directions many people think And not as drastically, either Who Does What? The thrust of the change does not revoke around who changes the diapers, washes the dishes and mows the lawn Nor does it involve who bungs home the bread Its who wears the pants Lsed to be and not too long ago that implicit in the vc old father was a strong fam The concept of who vveais the pants and why becomes important m the development of the child Children are influenced greatly by whatever goes on m the family And boys eventually become fa- thers Dads are great, except By Sandy Poulson hes a good father barks, yes. but he seldom bites He talks to the children minutes at a time without losing his temper or letting He his attention wander removes splinters and tnms He fingernails. He fixes bikes, and even goes bike riding w$h them, scarcely yelling at tlwm at all He lets them eat ice cream cones in the car w4ule he's driving, pushes them in swings at the playground, and lets them watch him fly their kites He admires their school papers. attends school functions embaralmost and claps loud w henev er a rassingly child of his is on the stage or the playing field Generally speaking, hes a most satisfactory fall her and so far (none of the children s are yet) there have been no protests firom the ranks ov er his performance teen-ager- I know he loves his children and is interested in them So wh cant he ever how old thev are x. their respect Hearth thiols Really, But if Salt Lake City children wul mother for it n member To date have never heard him get a single age correct on any of the childien. apparently he loses track of how old they are on the they 're born He cant remember their birth dates, or the grades they're in at school I keep wondering what new acquaintances think when he shows them the billfold picture of the and announces the chdd is 5 1 day-afte- r In spite of my nine years experience, I'm still puzzled by this quirk And at one time it upset me. too But then one day Madge listened to ne worrying about it marched me into the living room where her husband was reading, and demanded Jack, how old are Fathers, therefore, learn a great deal about what they ought to be while they're growing up. watching their own fathers deal with situations they will someday lace themselves Or. as Dr Brown puts it. The most training we have as fathers is what we get at home while growing up With tne movement toward improving home and family situations, fathers now have a greater awareness of their related to children Closely awareness is undei standing "They also try harder to have an understanding with their children says Dr "But I wonder if Brown they re any more successful than they used to be. One of the biggest complaints of adolescence is My parents don t understand me Dr Blown believes the opposite also to be true How children understand many their parents0 Inderstanding from both or lack of it. directions the the personality shapes child will take with him the test of Ins life The chdd needs to be heard too Hear and Listen It is most important for paients to hear what childien aie feeling Parents need to Dr Brown listen" says "Generallv. we don t respect a child s feelings Listening will allow you to confront then move m directions where it would be important for the son or daughter to do some thinking Dr Brown remembers a study that came out when he It said that w'as in school when a father comes home, he should have earplugs to tune out the noise. Thats nonsense They should take in all the noise and be able to cope n with it to see whjt the are up to ing when the parents themselves dont. says Dr Brown The child who turns out poorly learned his patterns from the family, savs Dr And if hes messed Brown up. its because of what he thinks his parents think of him And maybe particularly for a boy what he thinks his father thinks of him. Rebellion is just one lorm m which the disappointment appears That is, the disappointment when a child thinks his parents don't think much of him Its important to the chdd to be regarded highly in his parents eyes ' Each father treats his role Dr Brown says differently the role a father plavs, and bow well he plavs it depends heavilv on how he deals with his hte situations chd-dre- If the listening does foster a closer understanding between father and children says Dr Brown, the children may have less inner conflicts wlien they become parents "Aouve got to undei stand yourself before you can understand your childrer says Dr Brown "Which brings up young, unready pareiMs who teach kids the w rong tlangs in their early years "Lots of f Uhers are rotten fathers and excellent businessThat points men, he says to a flaw in their make-uThe role isnt determined by a movement or culture modifiof cation, but by the make-uthe man who is the fathei Unprepared Father Often, he adds, young fathers are utterly unprepared to handle "The childien young father frequently has no training to move towaid p p There was a time when the father was the head ol the responsibility on ins own. let alone with Ins children It his character isn't developed the added responsibilit' ol a child mav panic him And it puts a great stress on the marriage " To say perceptive that children household He no longer needs to maintain such a myth, adds Dr Brown "rihe fa'her and the mother are now partners and all the decisions in are ellotts underan statement "They otten know what their parents are think is In other words three, answ er b the children "Ihhhii." said jack, trying to focus on us Lets see. Ellen is. uh. 14. Jill is 12, John is, uhh, 8, and whatsuname is 5 Right0 said Madge es, dear. She didn't have to say anything else I know Ellen is lb Jill is 10. John is 9 and Whhatsis-r.am- e is 6 -J- s- question |