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Show in the Virgin Islands, where his father owned a bar. “I didn’t know myfather very well,” he recalled. “I was only 2 years old when myparents divorced. My father stayed down there, and my sister and I went with my mothertolive with herparents in NewJersey, where I grew up. Myfather did not seem interested in me,orin being in mylif he said evenly. “So my grandfather was the onlyreal male figure around.” “Gordon—I alwayscalled my grandfather Gordon—taught mehowtodraw, and he gave melessons about how to think,” Grammercontinued. “Yet, in terms of emotions, we were not that close. He was notsoavailable to me whenit came to problems. But he died whenI wasonly 11, and his death was very traumatic for me. Grammer wasleft with tremendous responsibility for a boyhis age. “I was suddenly the only manin the family,” he explained, “with three women—my mother, my grandmotherand mysister.” “They insisted that I take care of them,” Grammercontinued, “and I figuredit waspart ofthe job. SoI basi From top: Grammer with high school studentin 1971; and with his fellow Frasier cast members, (I-r) Peri Gilpin, David HydePierce, Jane Leeves, John Mahoney and Moose (as “Eddie,” the dog). Grammer caught the acting : bug in the I] th grade. ~ “T thought I had what it takes, and partof that was having suffered,” he says. “T believe that really good ly ranthe household, and anybodythat had a problem came to me. Somehow, I was always expected to handleit. The only trouble was, I didn’t doit very well, and I wasconstantly criticized, No matter whatI did, it was never enough.” Grammershookhis head.“I was very resentful about what was happening,” hesaid. “Yet you're so outoftouch with yourfeelingsat that age.” Grammerandhis father reconciled after his grandfather died. So it came as an additional blow whenhis father wasthen shot to death by an intruder twoyearslater. “Dad’s dying waslike Globe a coda,”said the actor. “A sense ofclosure. It’s hard to remem- actors haveto participate ber what my emotions were back then, but I thoughtalot about his death two years ago, whenI was 38. That washis age, and I suddenly realized how young he was and how muchmorelife he had tolive. In terms of mourning his loss, that’s whenit hit me.” Grammer described what he waslike growing up. “I was very shy and very awkward,” he confided.“I knowit’s hard | in a great dealofpain. That’s what shakes your brain up, so you become a sponge for your emotions.” to believe, but I was a good kid.” he added, smiling. “I did as I was told. Even my homework. But I didn’t have manyfriends. and I wasalone most of the time. I remember inthe fifth grade I wouldstopoffat this bowling alley on the way home, andI'd bowl three gamesby myself. I got pretty good. and it gave mea sense of accomplishment. It showed methatif I worked at something, I could doit. [ turnedinto a kid who accomplished things. I became a great surfer. I becamea state champion of English Dramatic Interpretation. And I was the only student from myhigh school whoevergotintoJuilliard.” Grammercaughtthe acting bug in the 11th grade, whenheplayedin a school production of The Little Foxes. “I gota huge ovation,” he recalled, “and I remembersaying to myself, ‘Wow,I could dothis for along time,” because it’s about exploring humanproblemsandfeelings, and getting feedback. I thoughtI ha whatit takes, and part ofthat was having suffered.I believe that really goodactors haveto participatein a great deal ofpain. That’s whatshakes yourbrain up, so you becomea sponge for your emotions.” Grammer didn’t knowit at the time, but his private ordeal wasjust beginning. In 1975, whenhe was 20,his sister, Karen—then18 and workingin a restaurant in Colorado—was abducted by three men, raped andstabbedto death in an alley. Grammerflew thereto identify the body and broughtit homefor burial. Having beenraised {natit was his job to protect Karen, ne blamedhimself, “Once again, this was anotherjob not well done,” he said. “I could never take care of the women whoneeded me.” Hepaused, looking away. “I missed Karena lot,” he addedsoftly.“Istill miss her. She wasa constantin mylife. When she was taken away.it was very painful, I always thoughtI'd have my sister.” “After Karen’s death. work became my salvation,”he said. “I came back to NewYork, andI went to 100 auditions in 300 days with“& _out getting one job. But I just got up andwentto the 101st. That was the only way I could think The lesson of mysister’s death wasthat you've only gotthis time here, and that’s it. So I did what I had to—painted apartments,redidfloors. stuff like that —tostay alive. I never believed in giving up. I just threw myself into the work, andfinally I got some. though I hadtotravel 3000miles.” Grammer’first acting job was in San Diegoat a Shakespeare festival. He worked consistently after that. performing in continued PARADE MAGAZINE JANUARY 28, 1996 PAGE 5 |
