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Show 10H The Salt Lake Tribune, Sunday, October 10, 1971 Mom beats By Dr. Haim Ginon The following incident illustrates how to substitute choices for threats: Howard, 6, shot his water gun at a passerby. His mother was tempted to say: What ate you doing? Are you crazy? What is the matter with you. Do you want that young lady to get back at you? Who do you think you are? I am so ashamed of you. Give me the gun. Youll never see it again. Influence Child Irene chose the former. Mother saw influencing children. Mother Greg trying to tie up his brother. In the past, Mother would have exploded: Aie you out of your mind? You could kill him. Leave him alone . . . this minute! You are a bad boy. But Mother learned more effective ways of reaching children. She looked at Gieg and said: Leave your brother alone or give up that string. You make the choice. Greg chose to keep the string. A choice allows a child to do what is right by his own decision. Clarence, 7, and Lawrence, 8, were throwing a ball in the living room. In the past, would have bawled them out: How many times do I have to tell you not to play ball in the living room? This is a houe, nm a ball park. You are so destructive. This time Mother used a more effective method. She said, Play outside or give up the game. You decide. The boys chose to give up the game. Koentful s Even when they must gie up an activity, children are when they less resentful themselves made the decision. Ronald, 6, kept hitting his younger brother, Keith, with a balloon. Keith screamed as though he were being useless avoided Mother hitquestions. (Why are you abting your brother?) She accusations. stained from (You always start trouble.) She did not blame or shame. (Stop torturing your brother. You are terrible.) Instead, She she was solution-orientegave Ronald a clear choice. Either stop the fight or give up the privilege of having a The fight stopped balloon. instantly. When given a choice a child feels respected: He has something to say about his life. He makes an impact. He is a person of worth. Lori played with her kitten during dinner. All Mothers requests to leave it alone went Mother unheeded. Finally, gave Lori a clear choice: You can leave the kitten alone during dinner or I can put it away in another room. You decide. Lori thought for a moment, and chose to put the cat h another room. Children often take our concern into consideration when to make given the autonomy decisions. (e) 1971, by Dr. Haim Ginotl; Distributed by King Features Syndicate GAS LOGS r cBright deag... Mother, however, had learned more effective ways of lad to draw trigger-happ- y In- stead of threats and punishment, Mother gave choices and saved faces. She said: Howard, you have a choice. You can shoot the gun in the bathtub or you can give up 1 j f using the gun. You decide. Howard chose the former. Injoy their warmth and comfort! GasV GIVES YOU ABETTER DEAL ...w have a thousand of them from around the world. See them store. displayed in our Experienced Lighting Consultants at Your Service RESIDENTIAL COMMERCIAL CARDEN Threats generate resistance. Choices invite cooperation. 486-744- 1 Example: Irene, 10, was slow to leave her TV. When Mother called her for dinner she delayed and postponed and managed to linger. Mother's threats and punishment brought no HOURS I l.m. Ia bee our large election of fireplace accessories. ly decided to alter her approach: She offered her daugher a choice. She said, Irene, you can watch TV and come to dinner when called or you can give up the privilege of watching TV. You decide. change. to 6 p.m. weekdays m. to 5 p.m. Saturday Gas logs have the rustic look of real oak logs. And control. So they burn cleanly with instant on and off enjoy the warm comfort of your fireplace this winter, 54.50 starting at t Mother Electric 2250 South Main Salt Lake City, Utah Fireplace screens Andirons 58 West 1st South - 363 9233 - Fireplace tool sets Does your child's mischief trigger a threat? Or a solution? There are many aspects to consider in choosing that home for you. The happiness of your children just-rigshould be a prime consideration. Choosing a home in the -vicinity cf a school can be a great help to them and makin social will tneir aid adjusting your choice right now ment. Dont wait until theyre settled in school to decide on that new home . . . Choose Now! ht Check through the great selection of homes offered in toWill Never Be days Classified Section. Act Now Prices - Lower! See Classification 40 "homes for sale" In Today's Classified Advertising Section HaS and phone orders filled. For delivery, dial 323-- 1,39 in SaltLahe Citvarea,S26-f04 days foe delivery. 1 here us a 60c charge on any C.OD. Mail orders to Bur 14b6, add bOc 1 7 ! in Provo area. Zenith 777 in Ogdin area, 37t-27in our mihing delitvry areas. Allow pobtuge plus 4'A'o sales tax in Utah. SHOP MONDAY AND FRIDAY 10 AM. TO 9 DAI. |
