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Show ( Page A4 Thursday, January 30, 198b P.i-U Record BANK FORECLOSURE SALE Originally sold for up to $195,900 Now Priced From $1 15,000 Red Pine Town Houses 60 Units 19 Units Left to Sell - l" "5i, Swimming Tennis Sauna Convention Facilities Near Lifts On-Site Rental Mgt. SEE OUR FURNISHED MODEL OPEN NOON TO 6 P.M. DAILY REDPINE FEATURES Only 40 minutes from Salt Lake International Airport On-site property rental management 6' x 6' hot tub with greenhouse green-house window 3 bedrooms and 4 full baths 4 tennis courts, 3 pools, party-size hot tub Clubhouse with convention facilities Approx. 1,775 square feet Large master suite with fireplace Mini-kitchen in lockout bedrooms Oak kitchen cabinets and breakfast bar 2 parking places, one covered Washer and dryer hookups Energy-saving insulation R19 walls and R30 ceiling Forced-air gas heating Insulation double-pane windows with wood frames 50-gallon gas hot-water heater Ski storage Top-of-the-line appliances Wired for cable television Close to lakes, downhill and cross-country skiing, hiking, hunting, fishing, cycling, horseback riding and historic Park City Financing Terms: 10 Down 1012 Interest 30 yr. amortization w7 yr. call No points or loan origination fee Marketed by JIM MORLEY 3662 N. Navajo Trail ParkWest, Utah 84060 (801) 649-0378 REDPINE CONDOMINIUMS AT PARKWEST Broker Participation Welcome PARK CITY DRY GOODS Winter Sale 40 off on all Winter Jackets Sweaters Scarves Gloves Hats o Woolrich Fox River Athalon SPECIALIZING IN CLOTHING FOR EVERYDAY LIVING iizujjnu Mall Z 2nd Level Main Street 333 Main St. 649-9574 bv Hick Hrough You can call it Debby . . . or Josh . . . why not Brad? Forget Halley's Comet We have ; much more m-.-ii's!um phenomenon to consider It'vou follow the science news, you have no doubt read that" the spacecraft Voyager 2 is circling the planet I'ranus and is snapping close-up photos. The planet is presenting a problem unique to space ex-plorat.on. ex-plorat.on. What you may ask. Does the planet have an 'mutual orbif Does it hove an especially deadly atmosphere" at-mosphere" Is it surrounded by meteor fields" No The problem is that Uranus has the most disgusting name ol any planet in the known universe. In common usage, the name is pronounced "'-ay-nis" which sounds like a reference to a part of the ,,i iMnv that is not commonh used in polite conversation, conversa-tion, or discussed frequently over lunch, except by proctologists. News anchors have been using a new pronunciation in TV broadcasts on Voyager 2. They call it "YUR-in-us. which is not a big improvement. The pla.,ct l'ranu needs ., wholesome name-something you can say on the 6 O'clock News. How about Debby? Or. if you want to avoid sexist overtones, the planet could be given a good male name, such as Brad or Josh. If the familv. sitting around the dinner table, hears hat Vovager 2 is circling arou:.l YIK-in-.i'. they will assume the ship is revolving around a men's room receptacle. Thev will feel disgusted and will not support further funding for NASA. But if the ship is shooting close-up photos of "Josh." you get a homey, right-next-door feeling about the distant planets. For that m ..Iter, maybe .1 s time to 1 .ok at the names of the other planets in our solar system. Such planets as Venus. Saturn and Jupiter were named for ancient (iods They were meant to have a dignified, larger-than-htc quality. And they still do. ( )n I he other hand, we should change the names of: Uercurv Me: cury is the name ol a car II you have to use the name of a car, call it "Mercedes." Pluto That's the name of Mickey Mouse's dog. I Miggest we name it "Rambo" after another object winch is further out in orbit than anything else. Mars was once a mysterious red planet. Today, it is chocolate h.ir that Jamie Fan- eats on TV when he wants to feel good about himself. Also see Milky Way.) Mars was originally named alter the god of war. The angr red planet could now be named "Bronson," after tin- god of senseless urban violence. (Admittedly. Rambo Ram-bo would also be a good name for this one, too ii ! what about our own pla:.cl. Earth'.' A good name, a solid name'' But one day. we may meet other intelligent in-telligent beings in the universe and we will find out that, they loo. give disgusting names to planets they don't live on Imagine our ambassador talking to the intelligent i ilio P. id Iron Zitzliath F uir "1 come Irom Farlh. ' he proclaims. The alien raises its antenna inquiringly. "You know Terra," he says. The alien still doesn't get The third pianci limn mc imi m mil M);. Sj. hesavs. The Brillo Pad perks up. "Oh. you mean Sqatblort;- REASONS I'M GLAD T11K CHICAGO BEAKsVm t t r T-r7. KTATl Tlx'-" r.,r FYEN THOL Un 1 c iwuu.nu rtrcuu 1 SPORTS- ' -I like William "the Refrigerator" Perry. L'pherl?. Park City, everyone who competes in sports is oa,Ua; i i ,.ininl-ii' at t hv inU u Inner i i i J . . U t . 1 , down the Slopes. 11 uue my ncaii uou 10 sue nal ;roiesquely rotund person is one of the most acclaim, athletes in the country. -It also proves that weird-looking people from r, can be achievers, too. Jim McMahon has no neck au as I can see. He has an Adam's apple as thick as h head, which runs down a iooi ana joins at right angles his shoulders -Chicago is a great underdog city. Columnist Rovko. who lives in nicago ana is purjiisned natm. wide, has told us all about the Chicago Cubs and h,)( I hey have an amazing ability to snatch defeat from th,. jaws ol victory. 1 lie luos even proved it, a levlr- -.I ie ago. You would probably live in a town like Boston. Buto root for Chicago. Burger Km.: is going on the road. In Miami. 1 ho gin j. lie hamburger chain unveiled the first of some 21111 restaurants. The vehicles are part of the Burger Ki Express, according to a UPI article. I don't understand it myself. What can I hoy possil do w ith all those Burger King wagons .' The elusive Herb, who attained nationwide because he refused to try a Burger King Whopper, u-lound u-lound dead on a Miami street today. According to Deiet Ac Sonny docket!. Herb was the victim of a hit-and run driver. "Tell the truth, you'd have to say it was several hit and-run drivers. " said Crockett. "Judging by the tirt tracks, it looks like as many as 20 vehicles plowed over this guy." In addition, the body was spattered u :;iusinl. ki'lehup and relish. Herb, who appeared to TV audiences this weekend the Superbowl. became a symbol of defiance when h refused to buckle under to the humongous hamburgi combine. Friends say he had recently been receivir. anonymous notes. One said. "It can be real unhcalll .Ml to try the Whopper. But have it your way!" One of the first persons on the scene was coroner Clai Peller, "Where's the beef?" she cried, tactlessly, : Herb was immediately cremated and jplerejcj at It McDonald's "We-do-it-all-for-you Mortuary. Herb grave will be marked with a tasteful tin-fool net uii'.ut. Hi.s lam y requests friends send union rings lieu of flow ers. f 1 4- IktA ttnfilk a Venn by Teri Gomes Lay down the law at home? It's a judicious thought For the past week. I have spent most of my waking moments either in the courtroom, following a trial by jury, or I've been spending time writing about what is taking place inside the courtroom. As a result, I find myself learning a great deal in the process and how helpful it might be to apply some rules of the courtroom to everyday life. Take the other day, when my" daughter, Jenny, came into my room at the end of a very tension-filled afternoon She decides to tell about what some kids at school said about some other kids and what she and her friends then said. After a solid nonstop five minutes of her chattering about how terribly dumb teenage girls can be. I finally blurted out, "I fail to see the relevance. Is this line of ex-planation ex-planation leading anywhere? " To which she, looking somewhat startled, replied "Well, yes. Everybody dislikes A, B and C and the rest of the girls made up." Amazing how quickly she was able to boil it down. Later, I asked my son what he was fixing for dinner the next night. He objected, saying he didn't feel like cooking. And besides, he had a basketball game, didn't I remember? Objection sustained. I told him. When I first had gotten in the door the other night the phone rang and Jenny answered it. "It's for you " she said. "It's your friend." I said I'd take the call, but my husband, fully in the spirit of the week, said, "Overruled. Tell her Mom's real tired and she'll call back later." My son. Randy, decided he's in need of some new clothes. So since report cards are due out this week, he asked if he brought home a real good report card woul: that be leverage for a new outfit. I told him I would ta the matter under advisement until I had least seem" evidence of a great report card. Today, Jenny came complaining to me that she w certain' her brother had taken the last soda she car hid in the back of the fridge and what did I plan about it. I told her that just because the can was mis didn't necessarily mean Randy drank the beverage "Circumstantial evidence," I said. "I think we'll a full confession before I can prosecute." My husband, overhearing a piece of my conversah. on the phone, waited until I was off the line. He asked if I ' in fact, bought a new pair of pants on sale at ColeSl Since I knew he had not yet seen the Pa" overheard my call, I told him his information was nca and therefore inadmissible. There can be a great sense of brevity in the la--I've noticed, sitting those long hours in the courlrw-that courlrw-that no one ever argues with the judge. Ah, how s would be. And I just wish I could find a way to inCJ porate a legal sense to running a household... But, for now, it strikes a vein with me I mustrap column up for another week and allow a jury of m'P to decide whether it is even a document they wish amine. ,,. Right now, I need to head downstairs and checks-crime checks-crime scene. I smell burnt popcorn. I suspect it'a .. husband in the kitchen with the wok. But I'll tO' t0 " off final judgment until all the facts ar" in. Want to know more about Steve Garvey? the athlete, the businessman, the actor, the philanthropist, the part-time Park City resident Read the winter T nrW ' Vl.Ul Park City's magazine |