OCR Text |
Show All the polyester ever manufactured is at garage sales J'l Slice ol Life f j By JUDY JENSEN Pet supplies must be a good draw. There is at least one leaky aquarium per sale, all advertised as being good for a hamster. Who knows what the fish in the aquarium died of. Probably some incurable disease. B ird cages are always available also. Have you ever known that many people to have birds? Perhaps there is just one bird cage and it shows up at every sale. w Old sofas are a must. Most that have survived arc made of nylon "freize," that revolutionary fabric of the 50s that cannot be destroyed. It too, like the liquid in the lava lamp, if probably a hazardous hazard-ous waste. Exercise equipment is a sure-fire seller. Americans have a goal to get into shape. Weights, exercycles, and treadmills till their basements, until they can't stand the guilt of looking at them every day and it's off to a garage sale with them, each with a sign on it reading "Used only once. Like new. ' And the clothes! All the polyester ever manufactured is still being circulated' cir-culated' at garage sales. Can you imagine anyone actually ever going to to store and choosing some of that stuff off the rack? There are more bell-bottoms at garage sales than ever ordered by the Navy. Where do they get that junk? All in all, garage sales are a waste of time, money and energy. Unless of course, you do as I do. I always choose items that are in perfect condition. My most valued treasures. Excellent things that are in perfect condition that no one could resist, like my collection of clip-on earrings, the carpet from the kid's room, sure it's got a couple of stains, but it's in excellent condition. condi-tion. Another gem, my old toaster. It only toasts on one side, but it just takes a second to turn the bread around. You know what I mean. I don't try to sell any junk. America is drowning in a sea of garage sale items. Nearly every family needs to rent a storage shed to store their garage sale treasures. Treasures? It's hard to describe some of the items founds at garage sales. The "what is it" table should be a part of every sale. Have you ever seen so many items I laughingly refer to as lamps? The "lava" lamps are particularly par-ticularly unique. Those are the ones with the bright orange and blue blob of what looks like thick jello floating in a liquid. Every bachelor -in America once owned one, and probably still does. That's who has been buying them. They have probably prob-ably been listed as hazardous waste so no one can afford to get rid of them, so they just keep being circulated cir-culated at garage sales. And what about the wall decor? Have you ever been to a sale that didn't have plaster keys, a wrought iron flower-filled ladle, clusters of resin grapes, '70's red and black candles, wall sconces, Syrocco anything, avocado green anything? Velvet pictures of Elvis and clowns are a common sight But they don't sell as well as the pictures pic-tures of the children with the enormous enor-mous eyes with a tear in the comer. Those kids must be hiding out somewhere in America. Those pictures pic-tures make you want to go on a crusade to find those children and have their eyes fixed. Who puts this stuff on their walls? Every "home decorating party" item sold during the '60's is still around. At the early parties they only sold a choice of 12 items so there are thousands of each of the 12 in circulation. A must-have at every garage sale, for the men in the crowd, are the tires that are in perfect condition, but don't fit any car currently manufactured anywhere in the world But, hey, they were a good buy. |