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Show Other Campus Broke? Tell Your Mind By SCOTT ROBERTSON Money has always been a problem prob-lem to University students especially es-pecially during the middle of spring quarter when last summer's earnings earn-ings have long since passed over the counter of the favorite pub. When I faced the money problem last week creativity replaced the prospect of working for my coppers. cop-pers. I bought a tambourine and began playing behind ASUU candidates candi-dates to distract the audience from what wasn't being said. I became very well known, but by campaign's end I was only 32 cents richer. Income tax had to be paid, I owed my mother a nickle, and there wasn't any hope of gathering enough pop bottles before the deadlines. dead-lines. Is there no place a college student can go? Brain Drain x No, you say. Yes I say. When all else fails go to the student activities ac-tivities center were dry shoulders are just waiting to hear your problems. prob-lems. They can't do anything about them but a group of softer shoulders should-ers you won't find. I was sitting outside the offices when I noticed a hand scribbled sign requesting the use of student brains for three hours. The sign read : "WANTED: Normal healthy volunteers vol-unteers (male or female) Procedure is painless and harmless harm-less - takes 3 hours. Weekdays, Saturdays, or Sundays Performed under auspices of Dept. of Neurology at the Salt Lake Veterans Administration Hospital. CALL: Mrs. Hellen 322-1565 ext. 336 PAYS $5.00" I dried my cheeks and called the hospital. "Hello, Mrs. Hellen? I understand you're interested in renting brains." "Is your hair clean?" "Yes but if you want that it will cost you a dollar more." Are You Healthy? "No. Mr. Robertson we don't want your hair but to get to your brain . . ." "Oh," I said. "Did you read the sign?" she asked. "It reads normal healthy volunteers." I had to think about that one for a minute. I was desperate and needed the money so I told her I . understood. She reluctantly made an appointment for me. I can't really do justice to the actual experience by describing it in detail. It was sort of like wearing wear-ing new tenni runners to a light show. If you are in a tight money situation situ-ation and could use the $5, you can still rent your brain if you hurry. |
