Show it Now Getting Mor ire Interested in i Jails Jails' lirsky Tells Fells lapp Reform Will dill t. t Result in Endowments to Prisons sons for Tiled Bathrooms b By MONTAGUE GLASS r Illustrations by Briggs IQ I 1916 the r Tribune bune I IThe u The The New York Tribune v I suppose you are reading In the I I per from this here hero Mr Osburn i arnett Zap said as he finished his I i if cond cup of coffee In 1 I It 11 restaurant i The e way the papers Is so full of rt ti WS nowadays Louis BIrsky Barsky replied I am lucky If it I g get t through every everyday flay day a a. couple of Mexican murders and andreal nd the real estate notes What did he iq ever do that he should run for tor president president dent for but butt f He aint running president i t hes he's got a lot of people sore at him j said Also there Is also a a. lot lotof of of people says Bays the feller Is all right and aDd I think s sd too He believes that I them fellers llers should get more ore out of ot I life than just working and sleeping sleeping I arid and a a. little exercise and meat only three times a week weel He believes they I should go on a moving picture once in fn ina a while and to a a. also I I I believe so so too Birsky said In Intact fact tact I was speaking to one of them by bythe the name the the other d day y and I says to him the same like you says about going once In a while c o a moving pictures and he said wat could an operator do which gets getso only o ly ten dollars a week A presser and a buttonhole maker is the same i z pp All them fellers is up against for money something terrible What are you talking nonsense nonsense- pressers and buttonhole makers gapp exclaimed I am speaking from convicts which you couldn't expect icy hey hey would behave no better if jf you t treat real them like animals Or buttonhole makers Birsky In In- Nine times limes out of ten a a. convict didn't got a show In the I world I said II Neither did a buttonhole maker Birsky retorted And he worked his wa way up to be he lie anyhow a a. buttonhole maker malter whereas the convict become a convict I wouldn't argue with you said but bu a buttonhole maker dont don't got to remain a buttonhole maker if it h he dont don't want to whereas when you are area a convict Its It's got to run Its course like a stomach trouble Sure I know w Birsky agreed and that's the way i it is nowadays People People Peo Peo- pIe treats a a. a convict like he lie would got up one morning perfectly strong and healthy with a wife and six chil dill dren and he kisses em all goodbye goodbye and goes downtown understand y-understand happy and conte contented t d that he Is a de decent decent decent de- de cent respectable citizen understand me eats a hearty lunch smokes a good cigar elgar and In the drop of a bucket he gets stricken en down In the prime of ot life with grand larceny In the first degree and for forthe forthe forthe the rest of his his his' days hes he's a convict Then the idee Is to make the patient as comfortable as possible with chicken soup and moving pictures and they learn him stenography typewriting ing and bookkeeping bookkeeping- so as wh when n he recovers or escapes he wouldn't got gotto gotto gotto to go back to hou housebreaking or safe blowing but could go in for something some thing more more like raising checks hecks or forgery You are the same as a whole lot lotof lotof lotof of other people Birsky said Just because Mr Osburn wants to have a a. prison a place for human human- beings beings beings be be- ings and not you claim he is is' trying to make Sing Sing Singa a a. sort of combination between the Astoria Waldorf-Astoria and Palm Beach if if somebody says that every room in a tenement house should ought to got I anyhow one window you oy aay y What do you you want for fourteen dollars a month studio month studio apartments If It the board of ot education pays a professor I Iten ten dollars to give a public lecture I A 1 IT I I r I 0 J dO 1 ff 0 a Suffering from a ch chain Olin ain of busted banks banks' I I r t r r t r r Y Yr r r 1 f C 2 r. r A Have elegant meals and everybody Is happy and contented I I I for a a. thousand people you holler your head off that Its It's the equivalence of hiring Caruso and nd Pavlova and you wouldn't put it beyond the board of education that they split up with the professor on his fees and their wives Is shopping in twin sixes with the proceeds I dont don't know what you ar are talking talking talk talk- ing about at all aU Birsky said If this here Osburn wants to put in a tiled bathroom with each cell and give a grand opera show every night hes he's got my permission the only thing is he lIe should quit talking about it because because because be be- cause as it is now understand Osburn Osburn Osburn Os Os- burn and his friends goes round and gives lectures to churches lodges and ladles ladles' clubs and he tells em how I when he first come to Sing Sing the place was so dead it was Just like being In Jail whereas nowadays they give parties up there and have elegant meals and everybody everybody everybody every every- body is happy and conte contented stand and the consequence is a lot of fellers which formerly worked themselves themselves themselves them them- selves to death for ten or twelve dollars dollars dol dollars lars gets week a week gels idee hear hearing hear hear- ing this feller Osburn talk that if they want to improve themselves all they got to do is to go out and knock somebody on the head which which Gott GMt soil huet n it should me ZaPPa it would be Just my luck that the feller I overdoes the thing and gets electro electro- Osburn aint getting off lectures I about Sing Sing to exercise his voice Birsky said People Invites him to these affairs Th They y want to hear what the the the-feller feller is doing because they take an interest in such things and they aint like us Birsky They're rich people people million million aires Sure I know Birsky continued They want to find o out t Just what they are up against in case they didn't I got the right dope fro froth front their lawyers awyers I before they went into the last big merger and floated that that bond issue What them fellers would I like to see is that every cell should be big enough to take an armory size oriental rug rug with a stock ticker on top of the humidor In the corner Millionaires Millionaires Mil Mil- is getting more interested in Jails jaUs every day and if the government government government gov gov- goes to work and gets after all them millionaires which is allowIng allowing allow allow- ing themselves su such li liberal cash discounts discounts dis counts In the income tax statements instead of leaving their money to hospitals because they got treated so good in Mount 1 Sinai that time they had stomach trouble them millionaires millionaires million millionaires aires will remember how kind Mr Osburn was to them that time they had income income tax trouble or 01 railroad bond trouble or antitrust trouble and the first thing you know you will read it In the papers II Two million dollars to Sing Sing Prison Benefits by will of J. J Van Rensselaer Rens Hens selaer Or when real is taking out outa a couple gOO good sucker prospects in automobiles to see lots to inclusive inclusive inclusive in in- in block 61 on a map filed tiled in the office of the tM register of the county of Westchester January 2nd 1916 by the number 2649 stand one of the talking points wi will willbe willbe l be that from any part of the property property prop prop- erty you could see the new buildings of the Judson 1 K memorial I Jail and the grounds is all fixed up elegant with flowers and trees like Uke I e ex x D Dr r i 5 I Ii i ii i 8 r where Where they learn a a convict to go out outi i r and look for revenge a high cl class ss cemetery cemetery development and there is is lady trained nurses in white caps l leading around the pa pa- Th The biggest cripple cripp e among them themis themis' is is' an old feller which Is suffering from froma a a ch chain in of busted banks and when after a couple of ot weeks the president discharges him as incurable hes he's going to live in a little cottage with his wife and take no more interest in nothing except to collect ocean steamers steam steamers ers and when he comes in the house and says to his wife Look heres here's a new one one forty forty thousand tons she smiles and pats him on the shoulder shoulder der and says My Aint that nice and then she turns her head so he lie I can cant can't canT see she's crying to think that her husband who only a few tew months I a ago o was a big stron strong man running two trust companies three national banks and a a life insurance company Into the ground should now be happy like a little child over getting another forty ton thousand ocean steamer for his colle collection Sure I know know said but the idee idea of prison reform is that if the Jail where Morse was would have been the way Mr 1 Osburn wants want's to tomake tomake tomake make Sing Sing Birsky and Morses Morse's friends would come to Mr Taft and say the feller was dying Mr Taft raft would say Well hes he's got gota a decent place to die in anyhow As it stands today Birsky if you would keep a a dawg In a place like they keep convicts and the neighbors complained about you they would arrest you and send you to a Jail which would make the place where you kept the dawg look like th the waiting room of the new Pennsylvania Pennsylvania Pennsylvania Penn Penn- sylvania station the old prison Idee being that the next next time you felt like treating a dawg like a dawg Birsky that you will remember r what happened happened hap hap- to you the last time As a mattel matter matter mat mat- ter tel of of f fact r fact t Birsky 11 flie tiie ii idee ee dont don't work out that way because all the time you are in that black hole Birsky Birsky Birs ky you are saying to yourself Wait Valt till I get out of ot here and Ill I'll show that dawg what cruelty to lo animals really ought to be Also after you get out ever every time you meet a dawg and nobody Is looking you kick tits the dawg for th sake of his friend who got into j Jail l. What are you talking nonsense Birsky said I never look at ata a dawg from one on one years year's end to tl the e other r rI I 1 am only talking ng In a manner of speaking Bi Birsky sky explained ned I Iam Iam Iam am trying to tell you that Mr Osburn wants to make a prison a place where they learn leam a convict to go go out and nd look for work while the people which I I is oppose opposed to Mr 1 Osburn want to tomake tomake tomake make a prison a a place where they le learn rn a convict to go out and look for revenge Probably people figure that here th they've yve been paying insurance insurance insure ance ance premiums for years on burglary and theft policies and never had so much as a collar ollar button stolen on I I em to show for it so why should Mr Osburn reform these thes burglars Just to tomake tomake tomake make it easy for the burglary insurance nce ance companies Also Birsky Awhile while we are talking about it people aint aint int nearly so sore that Morse didn't get punished enough for what he done I as they are disappointed ed that he lie heI didn't go to work and die as prom promised I it wouldn't been so bad if the feller teller had started in to bust a few more banks and trust companies companies com com- but hut when he lie turns ri right ht round 1 and makes a legitimate fortune In Inthe inthe I the ocean steamship business it breaks them all up Say I aint knocking Morse Birsky protested The way the real estate business Is nowadays Id I'd be willing to spend a couple years In Sing Sing under Mr Osburn's management manage manage- ment if I thou thought ht I could make a tenth the success that Morse horse did after he be come out The chances is you'd be sent ri rig t back again concluded because because be be- because cause the police pollee is very old fashioned l that way like the people that oppose oppose Mr Osburn They like to see Ice an- an an anex ex- ex convict behave as such and It it aint their fault If it he dont donL |