Show S TING EM OVER 4 with Bugs Baer E t The athlete 1 who boasts o of p better days gene genf gen gen- f- f e cr r a al att 11 1 y keeps keep A quiet about t th the theo e o nights j I IN I N AJ A AMATEUR WHo who plays baseball for mo money l y is a p- p onaL but ut that does i t every professional who ho plays ball for mo a pr fes- fes LI I. I Some profession professionals professionals' who baseball for money arc S By THE MASKED POET I other knelt by her wrestling son Is I. I S chasis was was' battered and bent benti x knew his race was nearly done n his Ms hood there was a dent fierce erce toe the hold had seared his sole cole strangle had stripped his gears sears d las as cruel wrestling claimed its toll cr tr faint words worda reached our ears Masked Chorus t wish Id I'd raised my boy to be a et soldier care ire not how Doo Bryan raves and rl 1 rants ho he a had pa packed a cannon on on his shoulder hed he'd have had an even chance hance I i A A la Mort Henderson I IJo arnum's one every all an right when Barnum was waa the but nowadays you cant can't time Ume he In Vi hout a split second watch u r Phe G good old days when the hea heavy I eIght 1 championship used to hop found like a a. flea are gone Nowa Nowa- a champion is Is' willing to risk La just as as' as far faz a as an Infant cans can ss s a a a. piano I IN 1972 z The Tha great world wide treaty of peace had just been signed at New C York York Kaiser Adelbert of Ger Ocr many many was embracing the president presidentS S lef of England Herr Pierrot president president dent of France was endeavoring Ito to bum a drink from a descendant Of William J. J Bryan Henry Ford the third was fumbling In his vest U P pocket for his limousine Another epoch had been registered I President Fragette Fragetto of the glenous glorious glori glen ous U. U S. S A. A arose and in a clear soprano voice said saidi t I Dukes and nd gents the tJUI war is II cured You are invited to be the nations nation's guests at the the- Polo grounds this afternoon when Christy Mathewson will will again pitch his last ast season in the National league V The murmur of dissent g grew ew in volume until it sounded as aa the roar of many cataracts The assembled diplomats bell bellowed wed as only assembled assem assem- bled diplomats can When is Jess Jose Willard gonna fight the they shrieked FACTS ACTS NO NOT WORTH KNOWING cs An en An ivory billiard ball bail measuring two and ind three eighths inches in diameter frosts 16 16 This This' places them above the peach ach of the proletariat unless the pro pro- rioter of the billiard room forgets to tock tock tok ck k the door In order to bring the theme theme me me within the scope of the poorer a scheme Ison son on foot to make ory cry ory billiard balls out of pewter Of jurso urae then the they wouldn't be ivory ut they would be much cheaper and anCi and just as well for national de do nse The only drawback to making ory tory billiard balls out of pewter Islat is islat lat at they would respond to English pith pith ith all the avidity of an Eskimo rushIng rush rush- Ing g to a bath ith all aU the rest of th the promoters etting their lunch tunch talons In the gravy style we wo suspect the next thing thinS l will hear of will be a ski t ent exit in the Sahara desert SOCCER FOOTBALL Soccer football is played mostly In n Fall River judging by the Fall Fell River papers The game is ia mostly kicking but not the verbal kind which characterizes baseball The I game also differs from baseball by bythe bythe Ithe the fact that it is ia no uncommon sight to see a soccer football player play play- ler er using his head in making a play Even a blizzard cant can't stop stopa In a soccer r football player from soc soc- coring cering and photographs show on elusively that a soccer player doesn't require much more uniform than a rabbit The game is making mak mak- ling ing vast inroads into our colleges but will never supplant the regular regular reg- reg fular ular college football game in the hearts of the students In n soccer football a player isn't allowed to use his hands and it would break Pa A college students student's heart to see aee all those knuckles going to waste ANSWERS TO Q QUERIES ERIES dUr Queries I I have been taking o 0 weight tremendously 1 in the last few tew years Jears and nothing I do seems to cl dj 19 any good I have followed the looters order to exercise very faithfully faith faith- tl tally fully having fired my nay chauffeur and andam ram nm am driving my ray own car Even playing playing- lards billiards doesn't reduce my roy weight lat t. t oh ob what what shall hall I do F PHILIP N. N OTHER Why fire your valet and roll your own cigarettes Ed Last Last week t I see that Chinese nese boxer You know as well as ag I that there is no such thing as a Mongolian boxer and never will be if AL MOND l Friend Al AI Your name must be pronounced pro pro- the way It looks Didn't you youver ever ever ver hear of the tho boxer uprisings in ini i China Etina 7 iuen t olumn Following an un un- t altercation when I asked a a. to give mo jno some Canadian whisky for that kind of ot a dime dimo I have been boon unusually deaf dear and near sighted This has deprived me ma of ot a R. livelihood as I formerly wan waR employed Jj buffet buffet- proprietors to detect burned i among the cloves Can Cant Can't t 11 ah mp me a all q to O how I could see se- se e Lt r f- f A KANK S You ou possess posse all the sincere qualification quail quail- for a capable umpire at prea paes ent However take care you dont don't become convalescent S Ed Queries Queries- Queries I see that that recently you claimed the fight I had with Young Goof us In Jersey City wad waS crOOk crooked shock a absorbers ao ab c You'd better beUer burnish U up the as I am now on my my w way o take stake you to a hand graved d be bevel vel edged cd-cd heating Y W i KID r crooked All AM it was We didn't say corK could pull a we said was you With Jt It S |