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Show A BUTTON MAY MAKE GROMYKO A YES MAN . . . What if Science Could Control Man's Thoughts? ...OR A RAY MIGHT MAKE HARRY CHEER KREMLIN By H. I. PHILLIPS ' SCIENCE AND THOUGHT CONTROL "tITlTHOUT assuming any man-" man-" tie of prophecy, it is fair to suggest that ability to control man's thoughts with precision through science is by no means out of the question. This is more awesome in its interpretations than was the mushroom cloud in 1945." Dr. John Ely Burchard, Dean of Humanities Hu-manities at Massachusetts Tech. There goe3 that gooseflesh creeping creep-ing up our spine againl Say it ain't so, doctor! Tell us you don't really mean that the laboratory lab-oratory will find a way to throw a switch and make a man's thoughts come out the designated slot! Admit Ad-mit you are not serious in con- templating a day when a button may turn a yes man into a no man, nice as it might be to see in converting con-verting Gromyko presto! from a no man into a yes manl Or is it to be done by rays? Turned by Joe Stalin onto President Truman, might they halt Harry In the middle of tern "We Intend to stand by to the bitter end" and bring forth an abrupt cry, "Hooray for the Kremlin!" Do you see a time when the Thirteen Men of Moscow, giving uproarious approval to a Pravda editorial denouncing America, may, under a magic ray in the hands of Uncle Sam, suddenly glow with anger and order the Pravda editorial edi-torial writer shot at once? Is the time near when Vishinsky, loaded with expletives and rising to excoriate the democracies, will, due to a current, a ray or an isotope, iso-tope, break into a broad smile and say, "Ladies and gentlemen, I am just a Happiness Boy. There is nothing in this world like friendship. friend-ship. See what the boys in the backroom will have!" less. 3. A new play opens on Broadway. Broad-way. It is lousy. But the producer has scientific connections. He controls con-trols the thoughts of the critics to such an extent they can't even dismiss dis-miss it as "adequate." 4. We go to the races with the right combination in the Daily Double. It is 2 and 8. The guy at the window who has a thought control con-trol apparatus fills our skull with the numbers 4 and 7. (P. S. Nothing keeps us sane except the fact that the winning combination turns out to be 5 and 8.) 1949 PICKET LINE Behold the modern picket Abusive as can be; He acts as if determined To lose all sympathy. He villifics quite loudly; His bate he doesn't hide; He often makes the publlo Support the other side. Cuii Stuff Governor Dewey recently vetoed off-track New York racing bills. After his experience last November he may have felt there was ample Can Henry Wallace, mounting mount-ing the platform, be reached by a mystery beam and his address denouncing ERP, the Truman administration and the Atlantic pact converted Into a talk on how to produce better laying hens? We see the following possibilities: 1. Moscow Issues orders for the complete seizure of China. The Chinese Communist general gets it, but Washington calls on its Thought Control tower, centers the beam on him and renders the general gen-eral Incapable of saying anything but "Nuts!" 2. The politburo prepares to Issue Is-sue a blast at America. Under the Thought Blitzer the boys cannot think of the words "Wall Street," "Money Bund" or "Exploiters." This leaves them completely help- opportunity lor losing in tnis country coun-try without changing the laws. Whiskey prices have been slashed In 14 states, This brings a highball high-ball down to where you can complete com-plete the payment on it in 11 months instead of 15. It probably will be a long time before a return to the day when evidence that a man was under the influence of alcohol was not proof he belonged in the upper brackets. Have you heard of the fellow who is so suspicious of everything he taps his phone to hear his own remarks? Add similes: As crazy as a rose beetle that decided to stay in an auditorium after the spring flower show had closed. |
